Stop Telling Me About Boundaries! Show Me!
Updated: Apr 6, 2020
So everyone says you need to set boundaries but no one shows you how!
Or you know you want to but feel you cant or its too hard or you don't want to be mean. Check this out and practice the "easy" 1-2-3 of setting boundaries. I say easy because it will get easy. Role play it first an see how much better you feel giving yourself a voice. How to Set Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are NOT:
Set for us by others
Hurtful or harmful
Controlling or manipulative
Invasive or dominating
Rigid and immovable
Healthy boundaries ARE:
Determined by us
Here are great ways to speak your mind & set boundaries:
Say to the other person: When you say / do ______, I feel / think _____. I need ________ from you.
How can we make this work? What ideas do you have? Find out what the other person's intentions are. Someone who cares about you will stop and listen, if they know they are hurting you.
If they can't stop because of their own emotional issues then that is a different boundary outcome. For example: "I love you and want to be around you. But when you do/say ________. I will have to _______leave until you are more respectful, or give us some time apart, or no longer be friends, or etc.
So what do you say? I need communication or want to sit and talk and enjoy each other? Or do I need to go? This way they can see its their choice / words / behavior that is causing the outcome, not you.
This also works with setting self boundaries. Be great and be in touch if you need any more support.
HypnoCoach TammyStar Workman