Why do I feel panicked, overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated or emotionally shutdown (numb)?
5 tips on how they can be prevented

Video Dated: Oct 20, 2022

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All right, we are live three, two and one. All right, Happy Wednesday. I'm so glad you guys are here. So my name is Tammy workman Lopez, my company is sparks, hope, dot life (sparkshope.life). And my goal is to help you to create intimate connections. My goal is to help you to release negative thinking and understand that there are negative emotions that are there to help you, instead of hurting you, or hold you back or pushing you down, or any of those things that are going on for you. And we're going to talk about that today.

So the question that I get a lot of the time is really folks trying to understand what's going on for them what's going on for their body, what's going on, for their experience in their thoughts, they don't understand how to bring it all together. And so today, we are going to take a look at how to bring it all together. And there are a couple of things that we're going to be taking a look at. So first of all, I'm going to share my screen.

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And before I do that, the information that you're watching right now go ahead and share, share the link with others, and let them know, this looks really good. And I want you to be able to take a look at it. And as you're doing that you're helping people to be able to see what's possible for them, how can they these negative emotions that are going on for them? How can they make that change? And sometimes people tend to think that there's guilt or shame or they can't talk about it with other people. It gives them a safe space and knowing how to be able to talk about it with others.


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And so I'm actually sharing it in my story right now. I'm sharing it on my Facebook right now. And I'm also going to be sharing it with my group, you can do the exact same thing. You can even text the link, you'll see the link up at the top, you can text that if you have questions, please do ask me. If you are listening, and you're like, oh, I can relate to that.


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Please do share as you share, you're helping other people to see how this can work for them. All right, cool. So here we go. I'm gonna share my screen, let me know once you see it okay, it looks like it's live. And they just take a minute to pop up for you guys though. Sometimes it does that. Okay, so give me a heads up, if you can see it, it's actually going to be the five points I'm going over today, I'm going to be going over more than just these five points.

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But this is going to give you a view this is an infographic it's like a graph that gives you the information, a graphic that gives you the information, it helps your mind and your subconscious mind to see it and memorize it without you even trying because that's how the subconscious mind works. And so as we are helping you to go through this, you're helping yourself, you're helping your emotions, we tend to think that intimacy is really just us and a partner, will I help you to understand that intimacy is looking into you, into me, I see and see how I can help myself. So if you're having these kinds of emotions, where you're feeling panicked or overwhelmed, or anxious or frustrated, or emotionally shut down, and you're just like, I don't feel a thing, whatever, I don't even I just feel detached.

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Any one of these emotions as well as any other negative emotion that you're having are meant to be helpful, they are meant to guide you. And you'll see that here's what we're talking about this and I have a couple of other Blueprints I would love to share with you. So you'll see here where it says here at the bottom call text for your free breakthrough call to learn more. Get on the horn, text me call me. You can also get on my website at sparks hope dot life (sparkshope.life) and you can reach out and contact me there.

You can also connect and go to my calendar and set up a session a breakthrough session there. However it is smoke signals. DM me through Facebook, I want you to get this information. My mission is to help people to understand this information, and realize it doesn't have to be this hard and it's difficult. I spent most of my life well into my 30s dealing with anxiety dealing with overwhelmed dealing with panic dealing with feeling not good enough dealing with believing I had to be perfect.

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And so I couldn't move forward. I was paralyzed and moving forward and no one knew. People saw my success. They saw what I was doing. They didn't know what was going on inside my mind and in my heart. And I didn't know really how to tell them because I didn't really understand it myself.

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I was doing loads of personal development work, loads of spiritual work, and loads of educational work, and I could not figure it out. Well now that I have, I want to make sure you. Get the information too and that's why I do this. All right, so these are not in any particular order, I've just ordered them this way. So you can see they go in any category.

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So say for example number three, where it talks about getting help to interpret what's needed, I would say that's number a, write every one of these points. That's a piece of a big piece of what you need. And that's why I'm here. I did not know how to interpret it. I did not know how to understand what I was thinking and feeling.

5:39  
And I lived in agony. I lived in stress that hurt my body, I lived in a constant feeling of worry and a constant feeling of not being good enough, and my body showed for it my foot, the body would feel like this. A lot of the time, it wouldn't show it I'd look like this out there. But here, it felt like this. It felt like pressure. It felt like it was hard to breathe. I felt like my throat was tight. I felt like I had pressure headaches, not so many headaches, but the ache in my head.

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And I would feel uncertain when talking to people. And that would escalate my blood pressure would get real high, it was hard to listen, hard to remember, everything was hard. Everything was really tough. And since I have learned how to do this, and I'm transparent with you guys, right? It's something that I keep learning, I keep growing, and I keep implementing this into my life with my clients as well.

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And life feels so much better. So much better. Now, I still have these things that come up. Now I know what they need. Now I know how to listen to emotions. I'm going to give you an example. So number one, ask what the emotional needs are. So let's say, for example, you're experiencing anger.

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We think anger means we need to draw and lash out and get back at that person. And I'm so sick of them. And I need to tell them where to go. And I'm just I'm setting boundaries now. Because I'm pissed. It doesn't mean that what anger means is there to say, hey, what you're feeling right now, something's unjust and unfair.

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Either they're being unjust and unfair, or you're thinking unjustly and unfairly. And sometimes we don't know, we might not know the difference. And sometimes we might kind of catch that we are, but we don't know how to change it. That's why I help people to know how to do that.

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I had to learn it myself. So this isn't something I'm just pulling out of my hat, or was like a great class that I've learned. This is something that I've been doing for 45. Now, I've been doing this since I was basically since I ended up in foster care at 15. I've been learning and growing and developing and trying to figure this out. And so I've taken all of that education, all of that practice, and all of that perfectionistic behavior of learning, learning, learning, learning, learning, learning.

And I've pulled it all together in more of a basic way to help your mind understand what took me decades to learn. And so you don't have to take that amount of time. Or you might find I've already spent decades, I don't want to spend more. And so this will help you to be able to break that down and break through any of those limiting beliefs that you've got going on creating that amazing intimacy with yourself, with your relationships, with your goals with your business or your career with your kids, just in how you treat yourself.

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​It'll show up in those ways, as you're beginning to understand what those emotions need. Okay, notice where you feel the tension in your body. So for example, I mentioned I felt that tension in my chest, I felt pressure in my head, I would feel the insecurity running through my body feeling like this in here, I would also have a lot of thoughts just running,

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It's just nonstop. And the tension all in my back and in my neck and in anywhere else in my body. I'd even feel it in my teeth. So just know and I don't mean like my vote my gums, I felt it in my gums, but I would feel it into the nerves of my teeth, as well. So, it may feel different for some people, they may feel the pressure in their hands, or their feet, or their glutes, right your butt. So it just depends on the reach person, I've had people that feel it in, their organs or their ovaries, right?

Or they can feel it in their groin. Because maybe they felt like they weren't wanted. Right. And so it's like we can feel our life being in our organs in our body. A lot of people feel it in their hearts. So everybody's different. So notice when you're having this experience, where do you feel the pressure in your body?

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As you're noticing that sometimes you might notice the body's feelings but not the emotions or not the thoughts so you can connect them to each other and go oh, well when I have this, this is the feeling that I'm feeling a thing. And then this is the thought that I'm having. Now, this process takes a bit, but I have a blueprint for understanding what your emotions are going through, and it's free.

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So if it's something that you're interested in, type in the comments, I want that blueprint about my emotions, the right blueprint, an emotional blueprint. You can get it, put it in the comments, and you'll get it. I also have a blueprint that helps you to understand how to set boundaries are times we don't know how to set boundaries till we're pissed the hell off, and we're hurting. And we're just like, I am tired of you. And I'm going to tell you now. But now we're saying it in a way that the other person can't hear us. Or maybe we're talking to a person who can't hear us anyway.

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I've worked with couples, I've worked with kids and parents, no matter how old they are, I worked with 50-year-old kids and 90-year-old parents, I've worked with 30-year-old kids, and 50-year-old parents 45, depending on the ages, right? I've worked with teens that can't get along with each other. I've worked with parents and little ones. It's being able to help that communication aspect, being able to help each person understand what's the limiting beliefs that they have.

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And we can tell based on how they interact with each other. Now you might not be able to because it's not something you've been practicing for 40 years. But it's definitely been something that I've been practicing over my lifetime. And so when I'm able to take a look at it, I'm able to see, based on what you're doing there, I'm curious, do you have this kind of belief?

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Or based on what you're doing there? What's coming up for you? What do you believe about your mom or your dad or your partner at this moment? What do you believe about yourself? What's the emotion coming up? Where do you feel that in your body? Let's take a look at those emotions. Let's look through this emotional blueprint. Which ones of those are you feeling? And most of the time they're like, Well, no wonder I'm feeling all of them.

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And then we're able to break it down and walk through what's happening, we're able to interpret it number three if you can interpret what somebody's saying it's like my arm or not. And the same for them. They're like, I am trying to hear you right like Nemo, right? The dad says to the little turtle and the Turtles like, Yeah, we're gonna do this, and we're gonna go down this, and we're gonna travel the E. Au or the EU, and we're gonna do these things. And he's like, I know, you're trying to tell me something.

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And the little guys like, all right, Joe, let's go. And he had no idea what was going to happen because he didn't hear anything. Even though it was very clear to other people listening, he couldn't hear there are times when we're in relationships with people, and we have certain dynamics, we cannot hear. You have those dynamics, even with yourself. You cannot hear it's not your fault. It's not like you're not trying to hear, right, my husband and I will get into arguments sometimes.

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Because he has a belief that I have to remind him of. I have mine too. By the way, he reminds me, we've taught each other. But he has a belief that if I'm saying what it means I'm not listening. And know actually what means I am listening. Now sometimes people aren't listening. And they're like, What? They're still not listening. I don't know.

I don't know, whatever. So that's not the case. I'm like, what, because I am trying to get you but I don't want to understand. But his belief kicks in and it can get him upset. And so I have to remind a nominee, I'm really listening. I really want to know, I caught you up here. But after that, I don't understand. It's just my comprehension. I didn't comprehend where he was going, or it didn't follow or he added a new piece of information that I misinterpreted. So there are times when we don't understand. And there's we can't know. But when I'm able to sit just like a coach on the sidelines and go okay, so I saw this play. And then I saw that play.

What were you trying to create there when you did that play? Okay, and what were you trying to create there when you did that play? Oh, so now as each person is sharing with me what they're trying to create the other can hear it differently? Because they've never asked questions like that. They don't even know to ask questions like that. And then they might be both like, yeah, that's what I thought.

And that's what I thought, yeah, I'm right. And then it's like, okay, well, I get that we want to be right, right. We don't want to be wrong. But is the intention really to be right or is the intention to connect? Okay, well, actually, the intention is to connect, so we kind of bring down that frustration, help each other kind of calm into their intention. Okay. So then what is it that you could hear and see what's going on?

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What's the block? Well, when they said this, I felt this and I believe that they're doing this, okay. Well, we can believe that. But is that really what they're doing? Let's check in over here. Is that really what you were trying to do? No, actually, that's not what I was trying to do. I was trying to do this.

15:00  
And so then the mind can understand and I'm giving you the example in a couple of situations, but this works with an individual asking those questions gets the individual to go, Oh, snap, I made that up. I made up. That's what they were trying to do. Because that's what I believed. And because I believed it, I totally stepped into that the truth without checking over there within myself going, Wait for a second, I don't think I'm not good enough.

15:20  
I do doubt and I do have these wonders, and I do feel insecure. And no, I do believe in myself, I do want this, this is my goal, and really cleans that out. And, it allows us to get inside the mind and create a cleaning, it's just a spring cleaning. That's all it is. But we can't clean up what we can't see. And a lot of times just like the horse with those focuses on, you've been there's been focuses that are put on you I know there's another name, I can't think of it.

15:55  
There are these focuses that have been put on you, right? Somebody said, Hey, try this on, it's really going to help you and you said okay, and so that's been your view, you can't see outside of there. So as we're working together, I'm helping you to remove those by becoming aware they're even there. What are the blinders that you have that keep you from seeing what are beliefs, the blinders that you have on? Well, let's question that belief.

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Is it really true that you're not good enough isn't really true, everything has to be perfect before you can move. Is it really true that your partner or your parent hates you? Let's ask those questions, and then check in and realize, gosh, I know they don't. So what else is going on what other support is needed?

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How do we continue to go through interpreting that, and a big piece to help you relieve that is number four, writing down those thoughts just like what I just shared, because as we get them out of our head, they're not looping. So we store all of our thoughts and our beliefs on a subconscious level. So think about it, like the file cabinets in the back, or the computer, you've got all the information that's housed in the computer in the back. But in the front, you see the icons, so your front thoughts pull forward. And your conscious mind can only hold about seven to nine bits of information.

79 units, right? And you might think that's not true. But it's how fast your mind works. You don't even realize that there's a limit, but you become exhausted really quickly because that process is trying. Because it's going forward, back and forward, back forward, back, forward, back, forward, back, forward, back, we're back. But before we even open your eyes, your lips, like my thoughts have me exhausted.

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And that's why it's not because your thoughts are exhausting. It's because that process itself is exhausting the mind when you pull it, let's say we organize this, let's say we calm this down, you pull it forward, and you write it down. Cool. I don't have to pull it forward. Again, you pull the next piece forward, you write it down. Cool. I don't have to pull it forward again, you pull the next piece forward, and write it down. Cool. I don't have to pull that forward again. Now I can look at this list.

And I could see all right, what is it that I need to do. And I can plan out here in a much more relaxed fashion where the mind can be creative. And there's a clean canvas in here. Versus it's filled with all of this stuff and emotions and overwhelm that the emotions are going through. Instead, it's out here. And so then we can take each little thing in a little bite. doable, calmer, and relaxed.

Oh, that's what that emotion is telling me. That's what that body feeling is all about. That's why I'm thinking that way. Oh my gosh, you're just like, oh my gosh, I am so getting this, I am feeling so in control of my thoughts. So in control of my emotions, so in control of how I respond.

So my relationships are showing up Amazing how I'm feeling with my emotions feels really good. And if you need additional support, like a therapist or medication or, or talking to a person on how to work through whatever it is you guys are struggling with, or, you know, we take a look at whatever is needed, and you handle it. And as you're handling it, you're feeling more confident. You're growing, you're developing, and you're just feeling amazing. That pounding heartbeat is relaxed, more of the time, that feeling clammy, and sweaty are just okay, it's there.

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It's not there. I'm good with that tension in your throat. You're like, I can breathe. You're communicating. You're setting boundaries. You're feeling good. Awesome, man. It's so awesome. And so the number five as you're allowing yourself to go through that process, you're removing judgment, you're removing guilt, you're removing shame, you're removing blame, you're removing that I can't take care of myself.  It's selfish. I've got to take care of everybody else first, or because I am taking care of myself.

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I'm selfish and I need to be selfish. Oh, at that moment, you're being selfish, right, we need to take care of ourselves, we need to be selfish. At times, no one else is going to shower us and why behind end, we have to, we have to plan for our food, we have to learn about what our emotions need, we have to give ourselves some downtime to kind of filter through we need our self-care time to regroup and fill our cup so we can pour into others, we think we're at 100% when we're giving to others, if you're not 100%, into giving to you, it's not possible to be 100%. When you're giving to others, you might think you're 100% doing this work and find out what 100% looks like.

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That's so cool. The joy that you feel, the relief that you feel, the calm that you feel. I mean, now, as you're hearing this and thinking about this, what's coming up for you? What's giving you that? Aha, that, Oh, yeah, if I did have this, this would feel and connect to that. If I was allowing myself if I was giving permission to myself on that feeling cool.

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Allow yourself that experience. you so deserve it. That's what you've been put here for. You've been put on this earth to appreciate this earth, appreciate your body, appreciate this life. Really just appreciate whom you were created to be. You were created to be the creator, to take care of this earth, to love each other as you love yourself, to love how you've been created to love that you're not here to do this all by yourself. 

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That's what you've been created for. And so why not give yourself permission to deserve that to allow that to be that? So do share with me what's coming up for you. Do share with me. And thank you guys so much for the hearts. I really do appreciate it. Any questions you have? Even if you're cynical, like Yeah, I hear you. But I don't believe that. How does that happen? How do we get to remember? Right? Whatever those thoughts are, let them come out, and share them.

22:26  
You deserve to allow yourself this process. All right, so I want you to know that you were loved and cared about and you like it and bring it in. Good job and you are going to be reminded now I'm going to ask what do my emotions need, I'm going to notice where my body is holding any tension.

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I'm going to allow myself not to have a judgment on that I'm instead going to practice self-nurturing. I'm going to find out I'm going to check with Tammy or whomever it is and find out how to interpret what are my emotions telling me what are these thoughts here for. What if they are all good? What if just like a battery, your negative emotions and your positive emotions are both needed for the flow that you want in your life? The negative isn't bad, and the positive isn't good. separately. It's all good.

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They are there for a reason you were gifted them into your mind into your body into your being to use them to help you grow. To learn how to do that. So you can help your kids to know how to do that no matter what age you are, no matter what age they are.

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You can allow yourself to have the time to learn it and work on it. Give me a call. You see my information here. You can text me you can reach my website sparks hope dot life (sparkshope.life). You can reach me on any social media coach tammystar.

I'm here I'm available. Reach out to me, you get to have this. You deserve this. This is what you've been put on this earth for. So instead of resisting it, biting it, having frustrations in your relationship or having frustrations in your business or your career, having frustrations with your kids realize that frustration is telling me that my emotions have gotten to such a height.

I'm reactive, or I'm shutting down or a variation in between. I want to learn how to use that in my favor. Right, all odds in your favor my friend.

24:26  
All right, you guys you take care of yourselves. Know that you're
 loved one and you're appreciated. I know that you can have this. This is not some kind of impossible, right? Know that this is possible for free. You can have it. Alright, you take care of you

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Ciao for now.