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Want to Get Rid of Perfectionism?

Video Dated: Oct 04, 2021

All right. All right, it looks like we're working. We are live. All right, three, two, and one. Welcome, welcome. How are you guys doing? I hope you're having a wonderful day. And today we are here to talk about how to end perfectionism. Oh, come on, is that even possible? I'm sure that's what you're asking. So before we begin, my name is Tammy workman Lopez. I'm a life coach hypnotherapist I help people be able to shift out of their mindset, release anxiety, help their personal relationship, help their couples relationship help their parenting relationship. There are times when we get so stuck in our habits and in our thinking, and it's all at a subconscious level, we don't even realize that we're doing it. And so it's essential that you will allow yourself to give yourself a break. First and foremost, with perfectionism, you are always trying to be perfect, right? That's the word. And when you're always trying to be perfect to stress yourself to the tenth degree. And that's totally unhealthy for you.

It's totally harmful. And so this allows you to begin to break down that process, see how you're doing it, and allow yourself to be able to stop doing it and make that change. It's so important that you instead allow yourself to be human, allow yourself to get that you are perfectly you just the way you are right now. And there are changes that you can make to help you release the stress that you're going through. Because guys, if you keep this up, you can literally make yourself sick, you can create so much dis ease in your body, and dis ease in your mind that you literally begin to create disease. And that's not something that you want, it's not something you even deserve. That's not what you're here for. You're here to live and enjoy, and create the things that you want to create. That's the whole reason why you're working so hard. And so this gives you that opportunity to be able to do that. Okay, so I want you to take a look at something I'm gonna share with you right now. And you can share this, by the way, go ahead and share this with others. So that way, you'll be able to let people know, Hey, I saw this, this is cool, I think it could help you too.

And then super simple share, versus, oh, I think this person needs this, I think this will really help them. I think that you know, so then it's just not uncomfortable. Just share it like, Hey, this is something I found, I think it's really cool, I think you're gonna want to take a look. All right. So you should be seeing my screen share. And it's going to be a PowerPoint. So you can let me know if you see it or not.

And I'm not going to share full screen because if I share full screen, then I can't see you guys anymore. So I'm just gonna share the the little open box. And that should be big enough for you to be able to see it. Just let me know if you need it to be a little bit bigger, and I can make it a little bit bigger for you. I need to get this thing out of the way.

All right, let's pause that because that's actually playing. I don't want to hear myself talking. Okay, there we go. Okay, great, I can see that you can see it. Thanks for the comments. All right. So what I want to share with you is just the equation I'm going to be there we go. I'm going to be writing on it as we go. So I just want to share something. If you allow yourself to talk about the issue. You're getting it off your chest, but make sure that you pick somebody that you can talk to that's helpful if you're talking to somebody that's judgmental or criticizing the way you are or they don't really know how to give you the support or be that listening ear that you need. That's not the right person. And doesn't mean they don't want to just means they don't have the skills. It just means that they have their own issues that are in the way. So pick somebody that can help you through that process. Because if you're having people give you good advice, or maybe it's not so good advice, but they're telling you what to do, and they're not listening. You just want to choke a fool not listening to me.

You're never listen, I'm trying to tell you I just want you to hear I don't want you to give me advice or the advice you're giving me you're not telling me how, right? So it's just good advice, but it's just can create this rather annoying experience. And then you're not feeling good, then you feel like oh, I should have never talked to them in the first place. Or now you've got drama going on between you and them, or you've shared something with somebody that didn't need to know. So it's really important that you allow yourself to catch who it is that you're talking to. And make sure you let people know, I don't just want to know the good advice, I need to know how to do it. Right. I already know what I need to do, if I knew how I already be doing it. Raw, right. And so that sometimes leads us down this perfectionistic way, because we're trying to do a perfect, we're trying to figure it out, you're trying to do it all on our own.

And it's just pressure, pressure, pressure, pressure, pressure. Life is not meant to look that way, feel that way, be that way. Okay, take a deep breath instead. Help yourself to realize you can find help, I know, sometimes looking for help can be expensive. And so look for affordable help. And sometimes that can be hard. I myself offer a free breakthrough session, it's normally $27.99. So it's so close to free. The session itself is actually valued at 175. So it's important to know what you're getting. And you can find that there's so many resources, so many tools that you're getting. There's other folks who do things similar like this. So it's just looking for them, it's just finding them out, it can be affordable. And for those of you who you're like, Yeah, you know, I can afford that. But the people that I ask, it's not the right help. It's not the right guidance, it's not the right tools, or they don't even know or, you know, just give me the wrong advice, or, you know, barking up the wrong tree.

Check it out, right. It's just like shopping, you don't go to the grocery store, and I'm just so tired of this, I'm always trying to figure things out, I just don't want to shop anymore. No, you've got to keep trying it out, you've got to figure out what's gonna work for your body, it's gonna work for your mind, what's gonna work for your life. So notice what mindset might throw you to, it's just too much, I just can't do it. It's just too overwhelming. It's just so notice that happens. Because that can throw you back into perfectionism. I try to do it myself, I can't ask for help. And then you know, it's got to be this particular way. It doesn't. Those are all just subconscious belief programs that you've got going on that need to be changed. And you can begin changing them now with this practice here.

And then we're going to take a look at the equation. And so what I'm going to do, as you're looking at this is I'm going to fill it out for you, right? What is this equation? How does this pull you out of perfectionism? You might be like, Ah, well, there are things that you can do. Now, you might look at this and go, Yeah, but I don't know how to do that. I don't like myself, right? I don't have compassion for myself, I just want to be like, you know, dumb head, get it done, stop being a baby, just pull up your big person pants and just do this, right? So you might notice that there's an experience or relationship that you have with yourself that kindness is almost impossible. Well, that's where I come in. It's something that has been programmed at a subconscious level, you can't do it by yourself, unless you figure out what it is that's got you running that way and how to shift it. Sometimes we're able to figure out what it is it's got us that way what belief we've created. But oftentimes, we can't break out of it.

And so if you can't do this yet, it's okay. It just means that's letting you know that's what's missing. And so before I keep going, I just want to check in and see if you guys have any questions, no questions yet, but I can see that you're here. So yeah, good job being here, taking this stuff on. I know it's not easy. This stuff is a little bit difficult. And it's a little uncomfortable. And so it's okay, that if you feel uncomfortable, if you feel uneasy, it is right, this isn't stuff that you're used to. So give yourself a break, right? Give me a break. Give me a break. So just let yourself get that break. Let yourself realize that you've been on this track of I have to do it myself. I have to be perfect. I have to have to have to. And that's not healthy. It's not good for you and it's a lie. You have somebody right here who can help you who can guide you. I've helped so many people and supported so many people with the same process.

You do not have to feel like you have to do it on your own. You do not have to tell yourself that is the case. Okay, so no questions yet. That's good. Just Hearts. Hearts back to you guys. Okay, so then what can you guess is the next one not just kindness But compassion. Compassion is even more unkindness, the whole idea is allowing yourself to feel, understanding, to feel and empathy to be able to relate. And again, if you're not able to do that this is difficult for you. However, it doesn't have to stay difficult, I can show you how to grow that compassion for yourself through different tools, different techniques, different practices, and you'll see it begin to happen from the very first time we get together.

And that is why my company is called sparks hope my clients picked that name for me. Because they were the ones each time we spoke, I had so much more hope, I have so much more understanding, I'm falling in love with myself, right? My business used to be called a touch that gives back. And I still carry that kind of like a mantra that people have touched my life, God has touched my life. And so I will always be that touch that gives back. And yet, when my clients are saying it over, and over and over. So even if you don't know how to do this, I promise you, you will. And so then in doing this, and that's why I have this closed out, because when you have an equation closed out, that's what comes first together. So as that comes in, what you're able to then remove or release, because it automatically begins to happen.

Judgment begins to fall away. Because when you allow yourself to look at something and realize you weren't doing this, to hurt yourself, you weren't doing this to be unkind. You were doing it because it was all that you knew how to do. It wasn't something you were trying to hurt yourself with. It was just all you knew how to do that it. So when you allow yourself to realize that it begins to shift and change in a brand new way. I liked that other way

it looked better, I'll have to figure that out. Make it look that kind of shiny, it wasn't going to go. I'm not sure how to keep it. But anyways, the next. What do you think the next one is? Think about it. What is something that we're always doing to ourselves? Company comparisons.

So you remove the comparison. Now comparison can be a good thing. When you allow yourself to look at where you are and where you want to be. It can be a good thing, because that's your measuring point. But if you're looking at it, like, Oh, this is where I am, I'm so far from where I want to be, I'm never gonna get to where I want to be. And you're actually judging yourself, criticizing yourself and self abusing, right? You're putting yourself down, you're being harmful. You're being critical. You're just being nasty. And so it's important to notice, would you do that to somebody else? And if so, we got to work on that too. But in most cases, you'll say No, I wouldn't talk to anybody like that. 

No way. So take a look and see what's going on there. And again, just because you do it doesn't mean you are doing it to be unkind doesn't mean that you've been trying to hurt yourself. It doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you. It's just a practice. It's a mindset. It's a programming that you started a long time ago when you were small. You didn't realize you did it. And you've just carried that programming with you. That is why I do this work. I help people to become aware of their mindset, what's going on on a subconscious level, being able to become aware of it without judgment, without comparison, without saying, Oh, why can these other people do it? They look like that. Why can't I look like that? They're able to accomplish that. Why can I accomplish it? They have children. Why can I have children? They look perfect. Why can't I look perfect? They say all the right things? Why can't right? Oh painful. It's this constant,

Not good enough. It's this constant pull and push into down, down, down down, just turning you into dust. Here's the amazing thing. Even with all that that you've been doing to yourself and again, without meaning to that was not your goal. Your goal was to help you be motivated. But there's other ways to help you to be motivated. removed of this. And as you do that, it totally removes that pain, it totally removes the wounds, it totally removes all of this instead becomes like a golden color is going to be the best color, like just use this one.

It's like, oh, you know what, let's use the color of royalty. It creates you to feel peace. It creates you to feel hope. It allows you to create joy. It allows you to create success. Without pain. It allows you to create ease. It allows you to create better communication skills. It allows you to be able to look in on what you need, and grow and transform into what it is that you want, what it is that you need, what it is that you deserve. And you're able to do this into your relationships, you're able to do this into your individual life with your health, you're able to do this even into anything that's going on in your life. So with your business, anything that's happening. It allows you to make that shift. And it allows you to make that change, and you are creating it, you are creating all of it. You're learning how to do it on your own, you're creating a blueprint, you're creating step by step process, and I'm showing you how to do it. And so I want you to be able to see that this is the case for you. This isn't just oh, well, you know, that can happen for some people. I don't think it'll be able to happen for me kind of thing.

No, no, I've been able to do this with every kind of clients that I've worked with men, women, young adults, children, elderly, I've been able to help children to do this with their parents, no matter what age from a woman who's 50 years old, and a mother who's 90, from a child who's 10 years old, and a mother is like in her 20s. Children with their fathers, with their siblings, couples, couples that are working to stay together, couples that are fine and just need to work it out couples that are divorced and want to be able to co parent, I've been able to do it in every way. So there's no that you can't do it. As long as you're open to try it out. Even if you're cynical about even if you think I don't think I can, but I'm willing to try it out. I promise you, it's worked. I've watched it work. It even has worked with myself. It's worked with clients who have never done this work before and they're totally green. And we've got to take it in smaller steps.

It works with clients who've done transformational work their whole life, and they just need to take it to another level. It's worked for clients who are totally sick and totally in a lot of pain and discomfort. And we're able to shift them to a new place. So they're feeling differently. They're relaxing their body differently, they're experiencing differently, they still fall in love with whatever kind of body they've got going on. Whatever kind of experience they've got going on, they're able to create healthy relationships with the relationships they have in their life now, so they can create healthy relationships into their future. Minus that need to be perfect about it. And they still feel like they're being perfect about it, because it's a brand new way to do it. So I want you to know how possible it is by looking at this equation. You add the kindness, you add the compassion, you remove the judgment, you remove the comparisons, and you step into peace and hope and joy and success and ease and skills and grow and transformation.

It's totally possible and totally doable. 100% So allow yourself to know that allow yourself to begin practicing these things that I've shared with you. And there's so many recordings that I've done. So if you're like I'm not sure I don't know I want to try it out first look at my recordings. My recordings are just like little mini sessions. I give you the tools I give you the how I give you the practice. So allow yourself to Do it. And when I come on here on Wednesdays, when I you see me looking for questions, I'm looking to apply this to people directly who have questions. I'm looking to apply this to people in their lives right now. And you'll see in the recordings that I've done, there's answers directly so you can see how that also can apply to you in your life. So any ones that you want to come on here and ask me questions to try out how this works? Ask me questions, you want to send it to me personally, you can send me a text message, you see my phone numbers right here. 954-657-3407, you can text me, you can message me on Facebook, you can reach me on clubhouse on Wednesdays at 7am. You can reach me through Instagram. Anyway, you can find me on coach, Tammy star. Or you can find me on my website, my business site, which my company has

My knee asked me the questions. There is no stupid question except for the one you don't ask. Take care of yourself. There is no need to let yourself continue to go through this struggle and pain and discomfort. And whatever else it is that you're putting yourself through. You don't deserve it, you don't need it. You get to have that freedom from negative thinking that you have to be perfect, you get to have that freedom from negative thinking that there's something wrong with you, you get to have that freedom from negative thinking that you have to do everything on your own, and that there's no help for you. And it's just the way it is. And whatever else you've got going on that you're telling yourself, you get to be free from that. You don't deserve that you haven't deserved that.

You get to be free. All right. How do we end it bringing big squishy hugs, you take care of you know that your love, know that you're cared for, know that you're appreciated. And know that you can make this change. And know that it's doable. And something that can take years and years and years and years, you can actually do it in just a short amount of time. I've watched it happen. I've helped it to happen. So I know it will happen. Guaranteed. You are able to see it happen from the very first time we talk and quite possibly, you're already seeing it happening from what we've talked about here today. All right, you guys, you take care of yourselves, please do share this information. Get in touch with me. Freedom from negative thinking Facebook group, join that it's free. Invite your friends to it, it's free. Help them to be able to see what's possible for them. And you don't have to say, Oh, I know this is gonna help you. I know you've got this problem. No, this is a really great group got some really great tools. I know you shared something with me the other day, I think this will help you here. Check it out. Let's watch it together. It's not a big deal, guys, these things that you're going through, it feels like such a big deal. But as you're working on it, you'll see oh my gosh, this isn't a big deal. It doesn't have to be a big deal. This can be light, this can be easy. This can be smooth, I can step out of this.

Totally you can. Alright. So you have the information. You have the resources, you have my contact information, you have everything that you need to get the tools and the support that you need. You even have my big squishy hugs, to know that you are loved and know that you are cared about. All right. You take care of you have a beautifully blessed day. I'm going to stop sharing my screen. In case you didn't see that big squishy hug. Here's a third one.

You take care of you. All right. I'm headed out for my water aerobics. You have a beautifully blessed day drink water, get your stretch on, plan your meals, take care of you get enough sleep and know that your love.

Ciao for now.


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