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How to Practice Self-love

Video Dated: Oct 16, 2021

All right. See, it looks like we're alive. If you guys can comment, and let me know if you can see me and hear me, I would love that very much. Okay, I got a thumbs up. All right now, what are we doing today? Well, we are going to be talking about how it's perfectly fine and necessary to love yourself. And I've had a lot of clients, almost all of my clients, including myself, by the way, that when we begin initially to practice loving ourselves, there's this experience of Well, I do want to love myself, but I don't know how, or I do want to love myself. But when I say positive things to myself, I don't believe it. And so what I'd like to practice with you today is giving yourself permission to believe it. And you might say, Well, how do I get myself to believe it when I don't believe it? It's a bit of a conundrum. I love that word. I like big words. So the idea is to realize that you can totally be able to take a look at what are the good things about yourself.

There's definitely good things about you that you can find. Oh, yeah, I could definitely see that's a good thing. I do like that about myself. So I'd like for you to take a moment and see the things that are true about you. So for example, sometimes we look at what we don't have and who we're not. Look at some of those things, right. So first of all, let's take a look at what's underneath the surface. And one of the things I'd like to share with you just take a piece of paper, right, super simple, take their paper folded in half. You can take a pen, draw a line down that crease. Oops, you could mess it up just like that. Super simple. And on one side, you're gonna write the negative thoughts you have

about yourself. Negative thoughts? And it could be, you know, what I don't like about me, I don't like, you know, where I think I'm not good enough. How I think I'm failing. What I want to be, but I'm not. Okay. So the idea is allowing yourself to put it on the paper and get it out of your head. Because the problem is Good morning, Joanne, good to see you. Beautiful. Gotta have heart.

And your stock. Guys, when you pop on here, I'm so proud of you. Because I know that you're looking and thinking about things in a brand new and different way. So just like this list that I'm talking to you about. The idea is not to kind of relish in the negative thoughts and think these terrible things I've had people say to me, Oh, I don't want to say it out loud. Oh, no, I don't want to give it life. Oh, no, no. Well, here's what I want you to allow yourself to understand. It's live thing, right? It's just under the surface. There's a part of you that believes that if you don't talk about it, it just can't exist. But that's not true. Because existing happens the moment you create it in your mind. And you might say, Oh, I won't think about it, I won't think about it. But what happens when I say don't think about a purple elephant, immediately, your mind is on a purple elephant, you might go Oh, don't think about a purple elephant. Yellow Blue, right? But it's thinking of this to avoid thinking of this, that means it's there, to these negative thoughts and negative beliefs that you have, are there.

So when you own that, you're able to make a change and make the difference instead of trying to avoid it, and pretend it's not there. When we're pretending that something's not there, you're lying to yourself 100%. So taking this same list, and on the right hand side, writing the positive things now I write it on the left on purpose, you know that song, all your things are in the box to the left to the left, the left is past it's behind you. So the goal in writing this is you're going to be putting it behind you. But it's important to get attention right now. Like a wound or a boo boo. You know, you take care of the wound and it gets better. You give little kisses to the booboo and you're actually giving energy to that area and attention into the need, and it feels better. So when you're giving attention to this in a positive, supportive way, so it can heal or release, it feels better. So you're not just putting the thoughts on it to go, oh, thoughts, I can't believe the ideas, this activity gets to be judgment free. So commit to that no judgment, you can even write that right here. And I'm going to do that judgment free zone.

And the way you do that, is to allow yourself to think about it as if you're like doing a science project, or you're a scientist. All right. judgment free zone. So the concept is like, if you were a scientist, you'd be looking at something going. Look at how I do that. That's interesting. So it opens your mind up to be curious and to be open, without being judgmental, without trying to be hurtful to yourself without telling yourself you're doing it wrong, or you're doing it bad, or, you know, any of that stuff. You don't need that kind of criticism and pain. It's it's unfair. Right? And it's not true. You're growing, you're learning you're experiencing, this might be the first time you've ever heard this, you do not need that kind of criticism, and sometimes self abuse, it can get as bad. So giving yourself permission. Oh, okay. So I'm going to look at this, like, Oh, look at how I think about that. Look at how I've been doing that. Hmm, I've been creating that process. So now you can create a new process. So first of all, you're giving yourself permission to take a look at the negative thoughts, get them out of your head, and then take a look at positive thoughts.

Now, this isn't about trying to positive yourself away from it, you're not trying to go we have what everything's okay. I'm just fine. Nope, this isn't a problem. I'm just perfect. You're lying to yourself, if that's the case. And that's why there are some times when trying to do positive thinking for yourself or positive self love for yourself doesn't work. Because if I have a belief that I'm not good enough, and I tell myself, I am good enough. The part of me is gonna go Yeah, no, you're not. Or Yeah, you're good enough, but you're gonna fail, right? There's some other way that not good enough will come up. Because there's a core belief on your subconscious level and the way you've been thinking all of your life, it's not just gonna go away by a positive thought. So you come in with a true positive thought, for example, what are some ways that you are good in?

Okay, so some ways I am good enough. This is so interesting. I've had parents that I've worked with, and they only see what they're not doing. Like, I'm not spending enough time with my kids I'm not, I see that they're getting anxious, just like me, I'm not being a good role model I, I see that they're not eating healthy, like I do, or I'm eating healthy, but I see that I can't get them. They're just what they can't or not, are not good enough. So there might be those things. I'd like for you to put those to the side. Think about what you are good. Right? Think about? What is it that you're doing that has your kids amazing people? What is it that you're doing that has them still alive, in all have their arms and legs right, or if they're struggling, what has them know that you're there and love them? You because you're kind maybe because you're compassionate, maybe because you're thoughtful, maybe because you're nurturing, I want you to write those things on the positive side.

Those things you know, that are true, those things, you know, you know, I work every day, or I'm taking care of the house every day, or I'm making meals every day, or I'm making meals and, and doing other things to make sure that they're fed every day. Like look at what you are doing. Well good, how you're teaching them the things that they can do and and guiding them. And now as you've done this negative positive, I'd like you to add one more thing. Whether you're a parent or not, I'd like for you to think that you do have a child that you get to take care of every single day, that child opens up their eyes and they can't get out of bed without you. They can't think of positive or negative thought without you. They can't go get ready without you. They can't even brush their teeth or wipe their hiney without you. You are taking care of the body you have. You are taking care of the mind you have. But the way we've been taught is oh you just just do it. Just take care of that thing. Just you know, whatever, feed it they that whatever. Like we don't even think about that this is a human being.

We don't stop and think this person this being needs that love needs that care needs that support. needs to be watered, needs to be walked needs to be fed needs to be loved needs to be nurtured because some One was doing it for us. We never had to do the programming of I need to do that for me. When you end up having someone else you're caring for whether it's a pet or a child or a spouse, or caregiving of an adult parent, or someone comes into your life and you're taking care. What do you need to drink? Are you hungry? What's going on for you? Because we can see them out there. We don't always take a look at what's going on in here. On a more like a distant experience. It's more like, I'm hungry. I gotta eat something called law, okay, it's something that hunger is gone. Versus there's this human being that I'm taking care of? What does this human being need? Okay, so they're going and looking for food? Are they hungry? Do I Do I feel hungry? Or am I needing comfort? Am I really tired and need to sleep? And I'm trying to get energy through food? Do I really need water?

Like I do right now actually, thinking about it. As I said to you, do I really need water? Or you know, instead of food, but because I'm thirsty, I'm connecting it to eating. Right? So there's just so many things to be able to took, take a look at and see what your body needs and what your mind needs. And when you're doing that, then you're able to practice that real self love. That real connection. And I'd love to hear from you guys. How was this landing for you? Hey there, Miriam. Good to see you darlin. Big hearts, doo doo doo doo. Ram says that so right. So please do share any questions, I would love for this to be really personal for you and answering any questions you have about, you know, I've tried to practice this, but it doesn't work. Or I've done this and it seems to work a little bit, I end up falling back or anything like that, that you would like to do. And what I want to do while while I'm waiting for your answers is I would like to actually practice this with you. So you can see where this might be showing up. And then the other thing is, with the positive thoughts side, I'd like for you to put in some positive actions. So I'm going to just write it here and I'll show you positive actions. I'm going to put meditation, sleep mindful eating. Water positive mental support. And that could be from yourself and from others. Okay.

So with this same list, right, you got the negative thoughts that you're writing down, you got the positive thoughts you're writing down. And then below here, or on a separate page, you're gonna write the positive actions that you can take. And some of these movements, that's the other one that you want to have on here is movement. And so, some of these things you're going to find you can elaborate a lot, there's put having brands, there's doing recreational activities, there's your morning meditation routine. So like write down what your positive actions are. And these actually are part of the positive thoughts that you're doing that you're doing for yourself. Okay. All right. So what I'd like for you to do is think about what are the things that you know, are true? So if there's anything that you would like to say to yourself, but you can't quite believe it yet, just write it on the list, and then put next to working on? Right. So you can see that, okay, I might not believe it yet, but I'm working on it. So it creates for your subconscious mind, this expectation of this is going to be changing, right.

And by the way, I do want to let you know, this stuff takes work. It doesn't just happen, right? Like, it didn't just happen for me, I had my coaches. So if you're like, I want to do this, but this is just too much and all this, then call me my numbers right over here. 954-657-3407. And even like today, it's gonna be so fun. I was talking to my friend Susie, and we agreed that I'm gonna do a pull meditation. So while we're all at the pool today, doing our yoga, which is my my morning routine to do my yoga and get my exercise in because that helps to be that non impact. I'm going to do afterwards a meditation of creating healthy habits for the holidays. And, excuse me, why not? Why not take things that just take what you're already doing and bring more positive, bringing more support, bring more health into it. So if you're going for a walk with a friend, add some More are movement into it or add some more knee raises into it. Or do something where you're creating accountability or do something where you guys are saying positive thoughts to each other like asking the question of tell me what you like about, you know who I am as a person, tell me what you like about me as a friend, tell me what, you know what has you want to be around me.

So then that person is saying positive things into you. Right? positive affirmations, positive love positive support. And so then you can allow it to sink in, like, Oh, this is how this person really feels about me. Right. And so I use that example. Because in the positive thought process, when you find yourself having trouble, allow yourself to imagine anyone that you've loved, whether it's a pet, whether it's a person, whether it's a child, adult, elderly, whether it's somebody you haven't even ever met before, like I was watching something from Robin Williams last night, and I just love his kindness, his stories, his gold and make other people happy, always giving, like, really good inspirational stories, but in humorous ways. I loved him, ever since I saw him with Mork and Mindy. And I also knew that he was he was just an amazing person all the way through and in Miss Doubtfire. He's good for wonderful things. And so it could be someone you love, even in the aspect have never met them before.

But I love who they already love what they're about. Right? So think about that. Think about that love, connect to where it is in your body supplied and close your eyes. Think about how much you love that other person, or that other person loves you. And, and I don't know your faith, but a big one for me is thinking about God's love. And when I began to think about that, I noticed this feeling beginning to grow in my chest, this feeling of wow, it feels so big. Wow. You know, that feels so wonderful. And, and it just, it's this inspiration. And it fills me with joy. And it fills me with connection. And I'm able to do that. And so what I'd like you to do in the moment of feeling that and if you're not able to feel yet don't worry, it takes practice. Miriam says this is really good info and practicing self love. Yes. So definitely practice it. Definitely, definitely. You deserve it. connect to it, connect to where you feel it and let it grow. Let it grow, let it grow. This is how I feel. And it could be like I love the trees. The trees are so beautiful. I love that they give me oxygen. I love the sun and how it warms me I love the breeze how it caresses my face, and makes me feel cool on hot days. Like it could be love of nature. Whatever it is, I love the little nose of a puppy. You know, I love their little tiny little biting teeth, I love the little toes and feet of a baby. Right?

I love that I can wake up and breathe fresh air. I love and I could think about, you know, any experience that you have had that's been positive and loving, even if you haven't had it in your life. But you've been able to see wow, look at how a mom, a healthy mom loves their kid, look at how that kid grows and, and becomes looking at how a father can love their baby. Even if you didn't have love what you see as someone else and allow that to just fill you up as you connect to that frequency of love. Allow that to just feel into as you connect to that love. And now I'd like you to imagine that you can see yourself or be two parts. You can imagine yourself just a few moments ago, or you can imagine yourself when you weren't feeling so good. And take that love energy. And imagine it like a light or a waterfall that you can just wash over you. And just allow that you're washing it over you while you sleep. You're washing it over you while you're having your day. You're washing it over you. So anytime you're feeling kind of negative or down instead you're filled with love, just washing over your head, your shoulders, your body, and allow yourself to breathe that in.

Take it in as deep as you can. And then take another deep breath and hold it for as long as you can. It could just be a couple seconds or maybe more. And then slowly let it out just sit in that love. And notice you don't have to tell yourself anything. But if you have things that you know are true during this time of love, then add keep adding keep adding keep adding like you're so kind you make a difference in people's lives. You help people to smile or you help people to feel better or you help people and they don't even know that you're behind the scene, you're making a difference in the world. You're a beautiful ripple in the lake that the ripple just keeps going out out out out in the lake is so big and so beautiful. There's so many things you don't even see that are getting changed because of you just existing. Allowing yourself to let that love pour over your life over your head over your body. reminding yourself that even if there's nothing good you can believe about yourself right now that you were created. You were created with love, you were created to be cherished, you were created.

Because just like a parent has a kid they don't go, Oh, I'm gonna have this kid because I want them to take care of me one day, they say, oh, I want to have this kid because I want to love them, I want to just care for them. I just want to love on them and let them know they're so important. And you were created with that same thing in mind, you are loved, you are so important. And there's nothing you have to do or say that makes it any better. So allow yourself to breathe that all the way. And one more time. Just hold it. feeling that stretch in your chest, your lungs, your esophagus, your stomach, stretch and your shoulders stretching away any tension, your muscles, your ligaments breathing out. And I'd like for you as you practice this, practice breathing in, you breathe in twice, because you breathe in, you get as deep as you can. And then when you breathe in again, gives you that deeper stretch, it brings in even more oxygen, it brings in more of what the body needs. And it helps to release that tension.

You're literally feeling. And you're reminding your body and your subconscious mind at this time. Even with that breath. I love you. I care about being I love that you're feeling better. I love that you're getting oxygen, and you can appreciate your body. Shoot, I love this skin that's holding all of my parts together. So I'm not falling out all over the floor. Just allow yourself to continue to practice. And just to summarize, writing down the negative thoughts getting them out of your head is this isn't about saying oh, well, I'll feel bad, I'll feel terrible. It's already in there. You're just pretending it's not. It's already having you feel bad and terrible. It's just on a subconscious lower level that's not getting cleaned up. It's like I like to use the analogy. It's really kind of gross. If you have a puppy, and it's partying all over the floor, and you get brand new spanking newspaper, and your cover it up. Okay, maybe one layer isn't enough, you put a few layers, it's all covered looking brand new looking pretty. But there's stuff underneath, it's not getting cleaned up. And soon enough, it's gonna get all nasty, and slidy and gross and make an even bigger mess. It's stinky, and you know, will eventually begin to rot and fester. And that's what happens with this stuff that we we think we're over. Well get over it. You don't get over it, you just put stuff over it. You get over it by letting yourself clean it up.

And it doesn't mean that it's so terrible, and you're so bad, and you're so wrong. You just didn't know how to do it differently. And now you're learning. That's what it means. And you deserve that. You deserve this opportunity to learn and grow. We think just kids get the opportunity to learn and grow know, what do you think it's learned from. So give yourself that opportunity to No, You deserve it. You are loved and lovable. And you deserve this opportunity to be able to love yourself without feeling bad or guilty or shame or any of that.

And then the last thing is you're turning it into positive action. So the positive thought leads to positive actions, positive actions lead back to positive thought to you're creating that wonderful loop, practicing meditation, practicing seeing yourself through God's eyes, meditate on that practice, seeing what are the things that you love in life and letting that love pour over you practice allowing yourself getting the sleep that you need. Because if you're not getting the energy that you need, your body will look for it somewhere, it's going to look forward and sugar, it's going to look forward and proteins, it's going to look for it pretty much that way or in caffeine, different substances. So giving your body the energy it needs to sleep is essential. If you feel like you're tired all the time, then you've got to get your hormones checked. You gotta get your thyroid checked, you've got to see what's going on with your body.

Get enough sleep, get the vitamins that you need, the water that you need, and then take a look and see what's going on. If I'm doing all of that consistently. I should be able to wake up feeling fresh and revive if not, maybe going to bed a little bit earlier. And so then there might be some thinking you've got to work on with that because you're like go to bed earlier. No, because we have it that once we're old enough we're gonna stay up overnight. We want and so that's till midnight, one o'clock, two o'clock. Or if you are a super busy person and you're using your mind nonstop, or you're using your body nonstop, it's going to wear out and need more sleep. So nothing wrong with you. You're just meeting that recuperation. It's essential, right? It's essential. Okay. So those are the areas that you're going to be looking at, you're also going to be looking at mindful eating, what does that even mean? So we usually will get our food and we're reading a book, or we're doing something replying to emails, we're on the phone. And so it's like, Wait, did I finish? Did I eat all that all the plates empty?

I guess they did. That means we're just going. And it also usually means you're going too fast. Usually, not always, because you might bite and then do stuff, and then bite and then do stuff. But most of the time, it's like doing stuff and biting and doing stuff and biting and doing stuff and biting. And by the way, I need to work on this myself to this isn't just you, I do really well for a while. And then I get caught up in stuff. Like I got really sick. And it just sort of threw me off of everything. And so now that I'm feeling better, I'm like, Yeah, I can eat and you know, all that. So I gotta get myself back on track as well. So mindful eating. And that's a whole nother topic. But one of the things you can do, you can create anchors, things that remind you how you want to do your mindful eating. And that's another thing that I can work on, we could do that next session, actually. So next Wednesday, by the way, a 15. I'm here every Wednesday 815 to continue to add these tools and these supports to you and your life.

So let me know what topics you're interested in. So I mentioned next week, I can talk about how to create anchors or memory tools to being able and I'm used, I'm doing this because that can be an anchor, or tapping on a part of your body can be an anchor, or, you know, connecting to something could be an anchor, connecting to a sound can be an anchor, connecting to, I'm going to open the fridge and when I open the fridge, that's going to be my reminder to mindful eating stuff like that. So there's things where I'm going to play this music, when I play this music, it's gonna remind me to slow down when I'm eating different things can be good memory connectors for your aka anchors. So reach out to me, if you love this, and you're like, Whoa, I really want to practice this, I really want to see how I could do this, I offer a breakthrough call. And we can support you in whatever it is that you need. I can support you in a meditation recording, I can support you in a variety of ways to help you see how this work can work for you.

And I also have a program called Breakthrough from negative thinking program. And I have various levels. So depends on where you're at. And what you want to work through also depends on your timing and your finances. So we'll take a look at all of that and make sure you're getting what you need. By the way, I'm also always adding new tools and new techniques to my toolbox that I can add to yours. So those of you who are past clients who are like, Oh, this stuff sounds new, because some of it is so and I have some other new stuff with super conscious and information that I'll be able to add to being able to create the changes that your mind and body needs to create the changes that your life deserves. No matter what age you are, whether you're five, or whether you're 80, it's important to realize, shoot, if I didn't get these tools, now's the time. And the younger you get them the better because then you have them to use throughout your life. So if you're 50, you've got more many more years to go. So do not think at any 1.0 Well, it's too late. If you have one more day left in your life, it's not too late. Why not live that day, way better than you ever could.

Okay, so just a reminder, again, write down your negative thinking, write down your positive thinking, and write it down in a way that you would be supporting a friend or supporting a loved one. You connect to lovingness and feel that lovingness pouring over you imagining yourself as your own child, like if I had a child have already planned for their eating, I would have planned for their sleeping, how would I plan to make sure they're getting enough water every day? How would I plan to make sure their body's functioning right? How would I make sure that they get time to play and and move their body and exercise. So allowing yourself to practice these actions are going to help you create that self love and be able to believe it. Because there's no doubt in any of these tools I've just shared with you. Doubt doesn't come up. It can't live there. It's not about doubt. It's just about seeing that it's needed.

And then taking it on when you see that it's needed in that way. Don't can't live. You can't say well, you know, I've got a kid. Maybe I'll feed it today. Maybe I'll just let it drink coffee all day. There's no doubt you're going to make sure that kids fed. There's no doubt you're going to do even if you didn't have enough money, you'd find out how to make sure to get them enough food cuz that's what a good parent does. To take care of you like you're parenting a child, because you are your mind and your body cannot do anything without you. So love on it careful. Know that you are important. Know that you are valued know that you were created just to bring love into this world because you are a loving squishy, right think about it, squeeze those cheeks

Alright guys, what do we always do big squishy hugs, bring it in. Continue to practice this, this recording will stay live, watch the replay, share it with friends help them to know how amazing they are, how they can love themselves. And believe it because they get to. All right. And now I'm off to go do water yoga, and then do water meditation. I'm so excited. It's the first time I'm going to be doing that today. I've done it for myself, but I haven't done it for clients in the pool in the water. How exciting. What a great way to relax, right? Just feeling the water and relaxing and creating health and healthy habits for the holidays. I can't wait. I feel so like, I'm already there. My body's already there. I'm already sending love to the ladies that are going to be there and gentlemen. So anyways, you guys take care of you. I will see you next Wednesday. Let me know any topics or concerns or questions or anything that you have. That way I can add it to next Wednesday or the following Wednesday, because that's what I want to be able to do for you.

And how this has supported you in any way please let me know. If you've tried it and you're finding it's not, you know, something's not quite working or whatever. That's okay, let me know that you didn't hurt my feelings. It just means that's an area that you want to work on. So you don't have to see it as a negative. You see it as a positive. Gotcha. All right, or got me not got you. Hey there, Susie. You're so welcome, guys. I love you guys to pieces. Now the other thing is, head on over to the freedom from negative thinking Facebook group. Let me give you that link. So that way in that group, I also do additional supportive posts. And you guys can ask each other questions because it's just other people. It's other people just like you who want to work on releasing negative thinking or want to have extra support or want to bring positivity into their life. join that group, it's private. So you can ask whatever you want over there.

And feel safe to do so because the group is just open for growing and open for support. And do share your posts in there that are loving and supportive. It's just not a place for selling. But like on Friday, when I asked you how you're doing or what's new in your life, you can post what you're up to you can post if you've got a new book that's inspiring people or a product that helps people feel good. That'll be just on Friday, and you can reply in that text or that post itself, but every other day, you can put any inspiration that you find that way the group can feel the love and feel the connection and it also supports you

Alright guys, you take care of you have a happy Wednesday and Ciao for now.


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