Can Self-Kindness Boost Healthy
Eating Habits?

Video Dated: Jan 22, 2022

Hello, everybody, Happy Wednesday. Happy mid January happy mid week,
I hope that you are doing wonderful sending prayers and love to you guys. So what are we going to be talking about today. So today we are going to be talking about how if you are adding kindness into your life, into your body into your experience, you're going to be able to lose weight. Now, whenever you're hearing about dieting and losing weight, most of the time, that's not ever anything that comes up, you're told about how you can eat and when you can eat and the food you can eat and water, sleep. And all of those things are essential. And if your body is in constant stress, your digestive system isn't going to be working properly, your body's always going to be stressed out, you're not going to be you know, as calm and relaxed in your planning, you're not even going to be as calm and relaxed when you're eating. And so the body, it could be very tight and in stress mode, and it's not going to process the food properly, it's not going to digest the food properly, it's not going to allow you to release the food it will hold it and store it. And so then you'll find why am I storing fat? Why are these things happening for me. And if you allow yourself to go through this process with me, you're going to be able to notice, oh, my body's even feeling better right now. And I know that might sound kind of weird.

But if you think about it, when you relax your mind and relax your body, you will immediately feel better. And so that's what I want you to be able to notice today as we're going through this how you can find that you're immediately feeling better, right? Because you deserve it. So as we're going through this, I'd like for you to put in the comments how it is that this can apply to you and how it is that it's feeling. So we're going to take a look at seven affirmations that I want you to be able to say to yourself, and you can look in my post just before this is listed. You can also you know, let me go ahead and put it here in the comments. I want you to be able to say this to yourself and say it out loud, I want you to also to be able to hear it, too from your voice to yourself. And so the aspect is being able to speak this into your life as though it is true because my dear it is. And so your body will be hearing you going oh, oh, this is how they're going to start taking care of me now. This is how they're going to be loving me now. This is how, and it shows up that way, literally.

So let's practice it and you'll begin to feel it in your body as we're doing it. So number one, take a look at it, read it. I care for myself as I care for my loved ones. And I want you to really absorb that. So don't just say the words, think about a loved one. Think about how much you love them. Think about how much you care. Think about how you're invested into them. Think about how much you want them to hear you because you care. And then tell your body I love you. I love you and I care about you want to make sure you're okay, I'm gonna protect you. I'm going to make sure you're taking care of exactly the way you should I'm going to plan for you. I'm going to love you, like I love and fill in the blank of who that is. I'm going to love you like I love my child. I'm gonna take care of you, like you matter, I'm going to make sure you eat knowing your body needs to eat three times a day, I'm going to make sure you have snacks in between healthy snacks, so you feel good and energized, I'm going to make sure that you get the water that your body needs. Which by the way, a lot of people don't know if you take your own bodyweight and divide that in half.

So like I'm 120 So if I divide that in half, it's 60. So 60 ounces is about what amount of water I should get each day. And I honestly have to say I probably get about 40 between 30 and 40. And so that lets me know I'm dehydrated. And so I'm always practicing getting more getting more getting more and sometimes I'm on it sometimes I have more than enough. And then there's other times like today I have forgotten to have water and I did just even thought about it until just now because I've been going and on the phone since this morning in the other room and haven't pasture here till just now. So it's important to notice when we're doing things like that so we can have water with us having that water. So yeah, and you guys know I'm always transparent with you. So you can see I'm learning to I'm putting myself in check. I'm catching things and it's without judgment. It's not like all man, I did a terrible thing. Right. So number two, I remove harmful self criticism Am

I was being critical. Okay, let me stop doing that, right. So when we see ourselves doing it, I want you to see it more like when you're doing a science project, like when that happens, this happens, oh, man, when I don't do this, I start to really beat up myself, I start to really get critical. Imagine what your body is going through connect with it. When you're stressing, when you're judging yourself, Does your throat get tight? Do your shoulders get tight? Does your head get tight? Does your stomach get tight does your diaphragm all up in here and your esophagus get tight? Mine does, right right up in here. If all of that is going on, your body is not relaxed. It's not processing, it's in fight or flight mode as though something bad is happening to release all of that. So number two, I remove harmful self criticism and replace it guys. So we're not just getting rid of stuff. Replace it with speak lovingness into this body of yours? And what if you did that? What would that sound like? Hey, there Papa Bear big hearts to you. So if you were talking to somebody else that you love, what would that sound like? If you're saying to somebody, I hear you saying that you're you're not a good person, I hear you saying that you're fat, and that you're ugly, and that you're overweight, and that you feel miserable, and none of your clothes fit you anymore.

And I hear you saying all these things that are putting you down. You are loved you are beautiful. That fat on your body, that's just telling you, you got to take care of it differently. It's not telling you that you're fat, and you're bad, and you're ugly, and that people are gonna reject you. That doesn't mean any of that stuff. You're making that up. That's, that's a horror story. That's not true. So imagine now saying that same thing into yourself. You're smart, you're beautiful. You offer so much to the world do you think fat on your body has got anything to do with that? No, the fat on your body is there to say, Hey, you're not taking care of your body the way that you need to. That's all you're not getting the exercise you need. Or maybe you're eating something that you shouldn't. Or maybe you're not as bad as you think maybe it's just about you're not firming up, or you're not moving. And so maybe your body's just soft. So maybe it's not even that you're over fat, per se. Maybe it's just that you're soft, and you're not giving your body the muscles that it needs. You've let it atrophy, to being able to take a look and see the various things of what it is you're telling yourself. And what can you replace what you're telling yourself. It's so so so so so so essentially important.

You think that because it's you, oh, yeah, no, I already know, I'm just you know, I'm, I'm fine. And it doesn't bother me, it doesn't hurt my feelings. That's not the way your mind and body works is the way your mind and body works. If you're insulting a mind and body, then you're harming it, period. Right? It may be used to it. Why should the body be used to that? And why should it stay used to it? Come on. Now, if somebody was being abused all the time, you'd be like, now you don't have to keep living that. That doesn't have to be your normal just because you've been used to it. No, no, no, you get to see things different. You get to experience life different. You get to have people in your life that respect you and love you, including the person here who speaks to you every day. To practice that, that is a central. And if you have trouble with anything that I'm sharing with you, let's talk let's talk on how it works for you personally, right? I do know people who say I feel much more motivated when I'm talking negatively to myself, Okay, in the moment of coaching yourself, where you might have to say, All right, get your apple out of bed or get good. I don't want to hear that Bs are no excuses. Let's go. Okay, that's one thing. But putting yourself down and making yourself feel bad throughout your life in every way. Totally different. So let's take a look at that. Let's see what's going on. There's something going on there that needs some support.

All right, number three, I am learning how to meet my body's needs. What does that mean? Right? Well, your body's talking to you all day long. Your body talks to you through your thoughts, right. If you have negative thoughts, they're there to tell you you need something. If you're having negative thoughts about yourself, they're there to tell you that you need support. I know that sounds ironic. But if I'm having fearful thoughts, it means I need to feel safe. I need to have thoughts saying to me, You're okay. You're doing a good job or you're not okay, you need to find somebody that can help you do a better job. Right? So I'm doing okay with my health, but I know there's things that I don't know what to do with. I have issues with my neck actually losing The curve and going this way. So I have a chiropractor that I work with, I'm looking into somebody who can help me in learning some different things. There's also stretches and movements and things that I have to do, they look silly, right?

Like with a ball, I push it against the wall, which strengthens my neck. So there's things that I need to do, there's tools that I use, when I'm laying down in bed or during the day. And so these tools actually help. Right? I don't do it all myself, I also have issues with my wrists or and my lower back my lower back, not too much, just sometimes, like if I'm sitting in the wrong kind of chair for too long, or if I'm standing way too long. And so those are different things in there because of injuries, right? My lower back, I fell through the ceiling when I was little. So there's things that we have to take care of, that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. Think about it. Like if you had a child or the loved one that we're talking about, you wouldn't say to them, just get over it, whatever, I don't want to hear it anymore. Well, you might want to say that if they're complaining all the time, and they're not trying to fix the solution. So you get to say to yourself, hey, you're trying, you want to fix this, you're creating the solution. So we don't need to be rude to ourselves, if somebody doesn't want to do it, and they just want to complain, and they just want to drain your energy, then yeah, you're gonna want to say, I don't want to hear it anymore, you're not going to do anything about it, we got to set some boundaries. Here, you're draining me.

Number three, I am learning how to meet my body's needs. Listening to your body, if it's in pain, giving it the massage it needs, if it's in a different kind of pain, getting it the medical attention it needs. But also when it comes to food, allowing yourself to notice are you rushing through your meal? Are you eating everything on your plate? Because that's what you've been taught? Are you thinking about your stomach, right? Think about your fist, everybody's fist is a different size. So if your stomach is about this size, then you want to realize, okay, I need to pay attention to the food. And so you might not realize food because this level, oh, well, it's not a lot. But if it's this level across, or if this is the amount of food that you have just in mashed potatoes, you're stressing your body out, you're making your body not being able to process things properly. So you can keep those things in mind. Some people don't even know that, follow up your fist and see the size of it. See the size around. Now outside of that you can have more vegetables, but this is like the protein in the carbs that you want to make sure you have, you can have more vegetables, because it's more so water as you're eating it.

And your body needs the fiber as well. So when you process that you're looking at the food on your plate now going holy crud, how many of these do you usually have on your plate, that's three. So then you're actually eating three times the amount, again, minus the vegetables. So if you have this much, and this much vegetable are probably like half of that, then that's what you're wanting to have. And so you might be like, Wow, it looks like such a little bit on my plate. Well, there's actually, if you look at it, facts prove that plates have gotten bigger, they were smaller. So what we use as a salad plate is probably about the appropriate plate to have, you could have your salad on that plate. And then you can have your food on that plate. And it looks like it fits. That's what we should be having not mounds of it, and just supersize it. Because that's just what our culture is doing now. So take a look and learn how to listen to your body. Hear what it's saying. Notice if you're eating out of boredom, notice if you're eating out of stress. And there's other things you can do during that time, that feel better than eating because if you eat and you're stressed or you eat and you shouldn't eat, like, say sugars or carbs, and you're just like, well, you're trying to work, and I'm passing out, you know, because it's either too heavy or not helpful for you.

So then take a look at number four, I expect failure as part of my learning. Oh, so that means I can do whatever I want and fail. No, it doesn't mean that. What it means is there's going to be times when you put too much on your plate, you might have been like, Oh, I didn't pay attention. Or you might be like, Oh, I thought I was hungrier than I was. And I realized right there at that time when I started to feel full, that's when I should have stopped when I kept crawling. Okay, so I need to change that I need to put less on my plate during, let's say, for me, it's during that time of the month, I need to put less food on there because otherwise I get more cramps and I get more pain and I get more discomfort. I get tired all that. So there's different times where you want to pay attention now. If you're also somebody like myself, I like to I like to not listen to my body when I'm eating. Again, I share with you my flaws. So you understand you're not alone. When we have these things that are difficult for us give yourself tools that will work with you. For example, Import, I have my daily essentials, which are my vitamins that I put it there powder. And they're isotonic. So they absorb really well. And I actually sell these, so and that's why I sell them because they work.

So if you're interested, you know, I have them, and I don't take them in the day, I take them in the middle of the day, because that's where I get that lag in the morning, I expect to be tired, I can get through that I'm used to it, that's not a big deal. It's in the afternoon, when I start to get tired, then I'm like, that part kind of drains me. So what I do then is instead I have my vitamins, then as long as you take it on an empty stomach, it absorbs up to 90%, guys, 90 to 95% Depending on how your body's doing. Most vitamins absorb up to 40%. That's why when you take them you don't feel a difference. When I take these I can feel the energy in my body, I can actually feel my cheeks get warm from the bees that are in there. Excuse me, I got hiccups now, of course. And I can because they're also they've got some I can't think of it it was there and I just lost it the the natural sugar instead of stevia. Thank you, the stevia that's in there, I appreciate your you're helping the stevia gives that sweetness. So there's also sometimes they get a sweet tooth. And that helps in that regard. At night, I take the magnesium, and I take the calcium. And so when after dinner, I started to have a craving for sweets.

Now, I do have ice cream sometimes. But then there's other times where I'm just like I've had ice cream, and I'm still craving a sweet or I don't want ice cream, I don't want to have a sweet, I want to just use that sometimes I don't want to do it every time. Because I get you know, you can get into that habit. And so then I use that instead. And I'm full because it's got the water, and I have sweet that is now been connected to and I'm like, okay, I'm fine. So having those things, there's also foods that help you that help lower stress. So these are some different things that you can keep in mind that actually help you learn how to meet your body's needs. And when failure happens, instead of looking at failure, like I'm a failure, I'm a loser. I messed up again. No, no, the failure is for me to learn from just like you go down the street and you find out it's a dead end, oh, I don't need to go down that one again. But you might find you go down. And again, later on, you're like, Oh, I forgot this was I didn't or I forgot the results, this was gonna get me. You just allow yourself to turn around and come back out. There's no reason to get out of the car and beat yourself up and kick the tires and you know, strict grab a bat and you're being in the car. Why?

So I'm going to help anything at all, it's actually going to make things worse, it's going to put you in jeopardy of more harm and more issues. So as you're removing that expectation of I'm never supposed to fail ever again. Instead, you're stepping into learning how I'm releasing perfection on myself. And that's number five, I am learning how to release perfectionism. Now it's okay, if you want to have some things that you're perfect at, why not? I'm perfect at this, I want to get better, or I'm not perfect at this. I want to keep trying until I hit that level that I think is perfect. Now, if you're comparing yourself to a perfect that you can't achieve, and that's unhealthy, that's harmful for you. That's an improper mindset. So we need to work on. But if you say, Oh, if I could do it like this, then that's perfect. And I see that people can do that. I know I can do that. That's the level I want to get you cool. But if you're comparing yourself to somebody who you think is perfect, and you can't be that I'm barely five foot tall. I can't be six foot.

So if I'm comparing myself to perfect at six foot, I'm never going to be perfect. I'm always going to be less, I'm always going to be not good enough. So unhealthy. And that takes us right back to number two, I remove harmful self criticism. Don't do it. Don't you do it. You don't deserve that. And notice if you are doing it, get help. Right? That is what I do. I help people shift out of that mindset, whatever that negative mindset is that stopping them and blocking them. It's just a habit. It's just a pattern that you got into that you got into along the way that isn't supportive for you. It isn't helpful for you. It's blocking you, it's hurting you. It's having you mistreat a beautiful person. And you don't deserve that. Allow yourself to feel good. Allow yourself to feel relaxed. Allow yourself to know that you are amazing. God made you you are a miracle you are a walking miracle. The fact that you have arms and legs and hands and feet and blood running through your body and veins that are miles long and intestines that are miles long. And that you can see from eyeball So did that connect to your brain and that your skin is holding in all your parts? It's a miracle. It's so cool. So let yourself be in that, let yourself experience that, let yourself have that. Because that is who you are.

That is what you can create. That is what you are creating. So do that practice that be that you deserve it. All right. Okay, so let's take a look and see if you have any troubles with any of these comment. Oh, this one, this one? Yep, definitely. I've had trouble with all of these guys, every single one. Right. And so I have to work on them consistently. When I'm going to eat, I have to focus on it and be mindful. Right, and my husband knows it. So he helps to, he now knows, I push the plate away. And I say I'm Bull. I say it out loud. Or say it out loud for me. And I say it out loud for him. And sometimes the moment I say I'm full, I might go. I'm actually a little fuller than I thought I was going to be. So I'm probably going to feel a little over full. And so I'm able to go oh, okay, well, that time I just wasn't really paying attention. And so next time, I need to pay better attention, or sometimes I just didn't know, there was going to be as filling. And so again, it's not about beating yourself up about failing. It's not about any of that stuff. It's about checking in and seeing what your body's telling you.

Hey, Melissa, Lynn, good hearts. Being kind with yourself, dudes. This is a lifestyle. This is what you're gonna be doing. Right? We're gonna talk about that in a second. So number six, I have fun celebrating my successes in my attempts. Celebrate yourself, just like when I'm like, sitting with my husband. And he's like, Nope, you said you weren't going to eat anymore. Here's what I did last night, I thought it was so funny. We were eating shrimp. And I just picked up a shrimp and I paid off the little, the little legs a little tail. He's like you said you weren't going to eat anymore. I said, No, I just want some tail. So I was just having fun with the fact and we both left and I put the shrimp back down. Because I didn't want to eat the shrimp, I just wanted to eat the tail. So it's just being able to have fun with it and celebrate it, celebrate the successes that you're having and celebrate the failures that you're having. Because that means you're being mindful of it. And you're making changes. And I help people with not only changing their mindset on a conscious level, but also changing their mindset on a subconscious level. Because there's things going on, if you were trained by your culture, to eat everything on your plate, if you were trained by your culture to put this lump and this lump in this lump,

then you've been trained to do that. Right? And it was out of love. And so you may have I want to feel loved let me eat. I feel afraid whenever I cried, I was given food or something to put in my mouth or like a binky or a bottle. Whenever we got together to have fun, it was food, food food. So when you're wanting to have fun when you're wanting to feel loved when you're wanting to feel connected when you're wanting to feel nurtured when you're wanting to feel anything. It's connected to food. And so it's important to create a disconnect from those things because food is for you to nourish your body. Food is for you to get the nutrition and energy that you need. That is it. Now, there are some foods that we use for celebration cakes, right? For example. Yes, that's for celebration, we don't eat when we're hungry.

Unless we're picking the thing that is not really the food we want to be eating. Well, maybe it's what we want to be eating, but not what our body should have with all the sugars. But again, even if you did eat cake for dinner, you eat cake for dinner, you're not going to die. Now, if you're diabetic, that's a different story. You want to take a look at why are you creating self harm for your body. And I also have to be careful even though I'm not diabetic, I have strange reactions to both salt and sugar. My body will swell up crazy for salt, and my body will want to pass out for sugar. So I've got to keep those things in mind even though my blood levels don't show it. Something's going on. Right. So I'm in the midst of trying to figure all that out. But that just goes to remind you celebrate your successes.

Celebrate that you're listening to your body celebrate that you're being more mindful, celebrate that you're paying attention. Your body will be more relaxed and be happier digesting happier feeling good. You're not going to be judging yourself and stressing out about things. Instead, you're going to be like, Oh, I did this and I did that. And I did this, and I did this and I saw that that didn't work. So I'm going to be doing this and you can help yourself in so many ways you deserve and then finally, last. This is about improving your life not this moment. Not this till summer for your bathing suit. Not just this year but because it's the best year 2022 It's an even year, it's the best year we're, we're coming out of COVID. And everybody was getting COVID is fine. And so it's the best, you know, this is your best life guys. These are things you are learning as a lifestyle. So if by chance you fall down, okay, come on, let's get, let's get up, let's, let's put band aids on the booboos.

Let's clean that, Okay, keep on, there is no falling off, you can't fall off your life. This is just the lifestyle that you're choosing now. So it's a learn as you go, it's a trial and error for what you need. Like I love broccoli, but I can only have so much broccoli or I get sick from gas, it hurts so bad. I love asparagus and I can have a lot more asparagus. I definitely crave sugar. And so I find new and better ways to do sugar, I can choose fruit instead. But I also have to be careful on how much fruit because fruit is some of the fruits are high in sugar. And if I choose different foods or less high sugar, I could have more of those. So it's learning and growing with your body. And with what you can do think about this body as a chemistry set, you are a bag of chemicals. And everything you put into it the water, the juices, the candies, the meals, the proteins, the carbs, your body, like your fingerprint, is different and unique to you. So just because vegetables are great for people, doesn't mean that every vegetable is great for you. And for some people, they have to be very careful about almost everything they eat.

And so instead of judgment or criticism, it's like okay, so this is my fingerprint. What does this body need. So I hope these tips and these tools and this practicing it with you, is helping you to see how to practice this, right? So let's go through these. speak them out loud over your life together with me. I care for myself as I care for my loved ones. I remove harmful self criticism. And what do you do? You replace it with love and wonderful things that you're saying about yourself wonderful things you're saying about your life and don't lie to yourself. Don't tell yourself. I are 66 foot tall lanky model. I have a 65 foot tall shorty. And that's okay. Speak truth. We think oh go positive go positive. Speak what's needed?

Let yourself see what's that negative coming up for clean it up. I'm speaking this negative Oh, because I was doubting myself. Because I was comparing myself to so and so. Oh, because I was just judging myself in old ways. Like I used to about being too short. Confirmation. Yeah, that's my reminder to get into some exercise because we need to finish up here. So number three, I am learning how to meet my body's needs. Number four, I expect failure as part of learning. Get that one. Not that you're choosing to fail. Not that you're just jumping in to fail. You're calling it learning that you're learning with each time, and that you're not doing it for self criticism. And if you find yourself in any one of these steps struggling call me, right? My information is right over here. My number 954-657-3407 You can reach out to me you can personal message me on any social media platform. There's nothing going to get in your way. Do not allow any excuse or any thought to get in your way. Instead, immediately reach out. That's it the moment you start to make an excuse type in there. Hey, I need to talk to you. Don said number five.

I'm learning how to release perfectionism. Right now. There's some things you want to be perfect about it. Right? We talked about that. That's perfectly fine. But not in everything in everything. That is saying that you are not good enough. You're comparing yourself to this pie in the sky. Perfect. And that's not fair. And it's not healthy. Number six. I have fun celebrating my successes in my attempts. Right? What do you do when a kid is learning to go to the bathroom? Yay. you partied in the potty? You pooped in the potty. Yay. For every step they did, because they're like, oh, yeah, that's right. It stimulates their mind their brain their body motivates them, pushes them excites them puts all of that positive chemicals from the brain into the body. It happens no matter how old you are, guys, no matter how old you are, practice these things. Numbers seven is teach your life style. This is not just a diet. This is not just a practice for a time. This is For your life, from today, to the end of your life and continuing, because this also supports your spirit being.

So this is your lifestyle, there's no falling off of this, there's no oh, I failed, I give up. No, there's okay, I fell down, I get back up, I fell down, I get back up, I fell down, I get back up, there's no falling down and staying on your face, you got to get back up eventually. So it's getting back up, brushing yourself off, and starting again. For the rest of your life, it's okay, and you'll find you fall down less, or you'll fall down and softer places. Because you're figuring it out. So I hope these things have helped I pray that you're taking care of you, you're loving you. They're taking care of you in ways that you deserve. Because you are a beautiful person, you are amazing. You make a difference in the world, your existence helps somebody else smile, and feel good and feel joyful. I know that's true. When I hear from you guys, it makes me like so proud of you. So live into that, do that, share this, share this with others. Allow people to know this truth for you, it might seem like common sense for them, they may have never even heard of it before for them, they may be suffering in their mind, and may be judging themselves, they may be struggling with food, they may be struggling with their thoughts.

Share this information with as many people as you can. These are free tools, free supports, don't hide it. Don't not share it because you don't have time it takes a second to share. Put it on your timeline, let other people see it. Share to people through messenger. If you want me to share it to you in some way, or to share it with somebody else, then I'll do for you. We gotta get this information out to people. So they are loving themselves. They are having that. Ooh, I love this body experience. Because that's all we have guys. We have our spirit or body or mind. That's it. That's what we really own. That's it, nothing else the rest of this stuff. We don't really own it right? Even if we own our car and it gets totaled. Good. Right? There's nothing that we have. Even if we have children, right, they're their own individual person. So the thing that we have is us to take care of to love to nurture to support and you so deserve that. But we always do get it big squishy hugs my friends. Love on yourself. Love on this body. Love how you nurture it. Give it the sleep it needs. Give it the water. I'm so thirsty. I'm about to go get some nice juicy water. Lemon water is my favorite.

Take care of you and know that you're loved. I'll see you guys next Wednesday you take care of you let me know any questions, concerns challenges, and I'll make sure to address it for you when I go live next Wednesday. 818 take care of you. Bye for now.