Are you positively motivated or negatively motivated? (Part 1: Awareness)
Video Dated: May 27, 2022
Good morning. Happy Wednesday. All right, so are you excited for today? My name is Tammy workman Lopez and I am here to help you to rethink, revive, and then rejoice your health, your relationships, and your business or your career. It's time, right. And so one of the things that I wanted to share with you today, I come on here each Wednesday and give you tips, tools and supports that you can actually practice right now hands on in your life. So you can get the results that you want, start creating the changes that you want. We use these different tools to help you retrain your thinking help you to see what's going on in your subconscious mind, things that you might not be aware of things that are below the surface. Because once you can bring it up and become aware of it on a conscious level, you can start to make changes. Additionally, there's tools to help you to make changes while things are going on in the subconscious mind. So subconscious is not some scary place that we can't get into. It's just like your storage, right? It's where you put your thoughts. It's where you put your beliefs, it's where you keep your information.
It's also the part of you that you protect from changing because the part of you believes those things are true, and that keeps you safe. Well, as we've grown up, there's a lot of things that we've incorporated that are not safe. But as a child, we believed that was the way that will keep us safe. And so because of that we have limiting beliefs, we have these habits that are bad habits, we have these
patterns that we practice in the way that we think and the way that we respond. And the only thing we know is it doesn't work. And we've tried everything to try to make a change. But we don't know how. And so it leads us into frustration, anxiety, conflict, creating the same problems and the same kind of relationships, not moving forward the way we want to. And so when I come on here, I am giving you tools to break that. And I'm also a coach. So I work with folks, one on one I work with folks as couples, I also work with folks in groups, and I go out to speak with them as well. So these tools are things you can begin to practice immediately. So today, we are talking about whether you are positively motivated or negatively motivated. And you might think, Well, why is that bad? Motivation is motivation, right? Well, in a way, yes, that's true. And you can actually use negative motivation in your favor if you're aware of it. And the idea is not to make one bad, right? One bad one wrong, that's not the goal at all. I don't want you doing that, that would actually create a limitation for you even more, because now you're stepping into judgment, you're stepping into criticism. I don't want you doing that at all. And you don't want the results of that it doesn't feel good. It'll actually have you doubting yourself and stepping into that perfectionism, which makes things worse. So the goal here is to be able to take a look at, oh, I am doing that and how to change it. So a lot of times we think of okay, well doing this is bad. Let me change it because it's bad. Just take a look at it like doing this is not helping you doing this is limiting you doing this is having you feel not good enough. And so that's why you want to change it not because you're bad, not because you're wrong. But because you're not good enough. We get to shit, all of that. And as I walk through this with you, you might find you have some questions or you need some additional support. That is a okay. That is why I do what I do. And so you see my contact information, reach out to me, my phone number is 954-657-3407 you can reach out to me through instant messenger you can reach out to me through
Facebook Messenger anything you want to reach out to me, I don't care. You can also text me I'm much an old fashioned text person and phone person that works way better for me. So if you have questions, do not judge yourself, get off your back. Realize that these are things that you have to learn and you haven't learned them yet. That's all it is. It's just about skill that you haven't learned yet. There is nothing wrong with you. So number one, I want to get that straight out there so that way you're able to see you're an amazing person, you're doing an amazing job and you get to know that and that actually begins to shift that motivation already right it begins to shift you out of a let me change because I'm a failure failure to let me change because uh huh. I want to let me change because I
Want that goal, I want that. And then you just move forward into that. And it feels really good. And it's so much better if you're moving into a place because it feels good moving versus moving into a place because you don't want to feel bad anymore, then it's like this constant push, push push to not feel bad. And that that can be very difficult. I know I've gone through it, right? So I'm not just guiding you out of, because this is information I've learned, I'm guiding you out of this information that I have to learn
and have had to practice. Okay. So as I'm walking through this, you can think of okay, yeah, that relates to me, or it doesn't. And so when you have your questions, let me know how it relates to you or how it doesn't so we can get more specific and, and detailed to you. And while you're here, type in the comments, any questions you have any concerns that you have? Anything that's coming up that you're like, Well, I can see that, but it that part doesn't relate to me or I can so see that. And I'd like more information about that, that kind of thing. Okay, so there is no stupid question. None of that I want you to get the support that you need. So let me know. Okay, so number one, I'm going to get you an infographic tomorrow, that is going to review over the information that I'm sharing with you right now. And as you're taking a look at it, you can see, this is how I'm doing it. We're in step one today, step one is becoming aware of how you're doing it and how you can step out. So either you're positively motivated by staying focused on your goal, right, or you can be negatively motivated by staying focused on that goal, because you're driven by pain, right? Like, oh, man, I can't be in this pain anymore. I can't be in this suffering anymore. I've got to get better. I've got to create more money, I've got to create a better relationship. I can't be alone anymore. Right. And so if you notice that you'll feel one is driven by
like a sadness, like, like a desperate like a depressed, and the other one's like, I want this goal. I want this relationship. I want it to be filled with love. I want it to be filled with the best life ever. I want it. Do you feel that difference?
One is coming from motivation of like, wow, this feels so good. And the other one's coming from motivation, because it feels so bad. Now, like I said, they can both motivate you. When you're aware of it, you choose it. Right, as you see yourself doing it. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, this is what's motivating me for now, I do want to get to this other place. But let me go ahead and let myself get motivated. Because here's the deal, guys. What happens when we're in this sadness motivation, is we're weighed down, we're pulled down. We can even be pulled away from our face. We can be exhausted, we can start to think negative things like why am I even alive? Why is God doing this to me? Why is the world so hard for me? Why are other people able to do it, and I can't. And that will pull even though you're still motivated toward it, it will actually pull down that motivation as well. And so if that sounds like you, and that sounds familiar, just put it in there. And yeah, that's me. I've been there. I've felt that because you're not alone. I've been there. And I have felt that. So just put that in the comments. So you can become aware of Yeah, actually, that is where I'm choosing from Whoa, okay. So the other one is you can be positive, positively motivated as you're focused on your dreams and your goals. Like, okay, I can really do this, I can really step into this. So for example, I have a client who, you know, she really wants to have a good future, as she's stepping out of high school, she really wants to be motivated, she really wants to have a good family, she really wants to be a healthier mom, from from how she grew up. And so she's like, when she's talking about it that way, I can feel that love that passion, that support for herself into her goals and her dreams. Or
Choosing from fear of failure. Right? I want to do this, but I'm still afraid I'm going to fail. I don't know how I can do this. I've had, you know, my family, they they they tried and they weren't able to make it. They're always pushing, they're always feeling like in the struggle. It's always this hard. You know, I've just I don't know, right? And so what ends up happening is although you're focused on your dream, to get you there,
There's this barrier of fear. There's this barrier of not good enough. This barrier of I have to be perfect. First, I have to know what I need to do for my career. I have to know what I have to choose before I go into college. I have to know what kind of job I want or what I'm good at. Right? And so there's this limiting belief that's going on first because of fear of failure that's in the way of the dream in the way of the creation. And so even though there is this motivation, right, and even though resumes are happening and and
Conversations are happening and interviews are on the horizon.
It's not coming from a place of I can do this. It's not coming from a place of I've got my dreams, it's not coming from a place of I don't need to know all those specifics, they just need to start taking the steps. It's coming from a place of fear and dread and wait and heaviness, which creates procrastination, it creates this feeling of comparison of who's better, it creates this feeling of I must be broken because some somehow other people are doing it, and it looks easy for them. Right. And so it's important to know how our motivation can be driving us into the ground, it can be driving us into anxiety, driving us into exhaustion, driving us into giving up on laundry.
So as you're hearing that, as you're seeing that jot down, put in the comments, yeah, that's me. I've been there and take away any shame, guilt judgment, right? Because as you share that in the comments, I'll be able to reply back, I'll be able to add more additional support for you. So don't worry about what other people think this is for you. Okay. Number three, you can either be going toward your goals, going towards your dreams, going toward that motivation, with determination, and I've got this and nothing's gonna stop me. And I'm gonna make this happen. Or it could be, I'm gonna do all of that. But it's out of fear. Like I'm doing all of that. But I'm so afraid of criticism, I'm so afraid of rejection, I'm so afraid of what people think I'm so afraid that they're going to how they're going to look at my resume. I'm so afraid because I don't know what to say. I'm so afraid because I feel like I can't even speak. Right. And so it's this fear of rejections fear of criticism, this,
That you're always having to push past. And like I said, guys, I don't do this work. Because it's something I learned, I do this work, because it's something I learned. And when I talk to you about this, it brings up very similar for me.
And so I have to be very careful that I'm not choosing from fear of rejection, because I'll tell you, that's my number one. I was rejected my whole life by my number one person, which was my mom, right? Your mommy, you want her to love you. You want her to accept you. You want her to your hers, she's yours. You want to know that?
That might not have been the case.
Right? And then a little bit older, I thought I had that full on acceptance of my dad. And then he started abusing me.
total rejection. Right? And I use those examples, not because I'm judging them now. Not because I'm, I'm giving the excuses to them. No, it's not their fault if I choose not to do stuff in my life now.
But it is the reason why that stuff comes up. And so I allow myself to know it and grow from it. And to be able to choose out of it. Through determination, right? I used to choose out of fear of rejection. Right? Doesn't that sound off to choose from there? But I did. Right? I would be like, Okay, I'm gonna want to take on today. It doesn't matter if people reject me. It doesn't matter what people say me. It doesn't matter what the haters say, I'm going to go anyway.
Now, although that sounds great, do you feel the weight of that? Do you feel the I'm going to choose this even though. So it's choosing and pulling through fear? Pulling pushing.
Instead of shake that off, guys?
Why am I choosing this today? I'm choosing this because I want to help my clients. I'm choosing this because I want to make a difference in the world. I'm choosing this because it feels so good. I'm choosing this because I can tell it's part of my purpose. It's part of making a difference. It's part of who I am. It's because I'm amazing. It's because I'm powerful. It's because I broke through these barriers, and I can help others to do it to do feel that difference. Like that's so much more powerful. You're coming from a space of creation is peace of loving yourself, a space of I can do this space of I'm so determined because I'm so determined, because there's love behind it.
There's acceptance behind it, there's passion behind it. And that takes away here. It's filled with relief. It's filled with passion. It's filled with love. And it's the same damn thing.
But it's because I'm choosing out of creation, not out of fear. It's the same thing, the same path. Only one is free of all of the monsters and free of all of the haters and free of all that stuff. That seems to not matter. Because I'm telling myself it doesn't matter but heck does matter when that is where I'm choosing my motivation from because one will tear me down and
Dry me out, and one will lift me up.
So it is important, they can both still motivate you, they can both still pull you forward, for sure. But one is going to be a drudgery
and it's going to be filled with doubt. And the other is going to be filled with passion and filled with success and filled with joy. And so that's my goal today to help you get to that space, that choice. And it's okay, if you don't know how right now, do not judge yourself. Not even if you're trying to stop it.
I talk to myself that way, too.
Nope, nope, stop, stop. Okay, choose again.
And so as you're becoming aware of this, and again, I'm going to share this infographic with you, my assistant helped me to create it, I love it, she takes my ideas. And she puts it into these wonderful infographics. So as you're looking at it, you can teach your mind, your subconscious mind learns from pictures, and sounds and smells. And so as you're looking at this, you'll be able to see, this is where I'm choosing from, let me come back and choose from here. And I'm giving you these analogies and these examples. So you can come back and watch us again in practice from it. This is a straight out tool, a straight out practice a straight out session that you are getting for as a gift from me, you are getting as a opportunity for me to say I'm going to write this off. And I'm going to give it to you to take this as that right teeth is like you're paying for this session today. And practice it plant these things into your mind and into your body practice like Oh, heck yeah, put the smile on and a fake it. It gets real. Think about your passion, your passion is real. Your motivation is real. Your dreams are real. And they get to be driven by love and passion and creation, not by fear and angst and worry.
Okay, now, what we're talking about here is a positive mindset, not setting yourself into blame. And so that's really important. Allow yourself to accept the process you've been doing with love and going okay, this is all I knew. I only knew how to do it this way.
That shifts you into a positive mindset, not trying to positive out of it. Okay, I can do this. I can do this. I could do this. I get positive, positive, positive, positive. That's too much work.
And it's a lie. It's trying to say that the part of you that's having a negative thought is bad and wrong, and that you're not having it. Except it's just a thought guys and I like to use the analogy although might be a little gross. Think about it. It's just like passing gas. You farted. You had a negative thought it's stinky. Okay, so there's nothing wrong with you. You're just cleaning it out.
I am the mind trash lady guys. I am here to help you take it out, help you clean it up, help you notice it, what's going on here? What's needed. And we bring in what you need. You bring in.
Okay, I was negatively motivated. Yeah. Heck, I was motivated.
But it has been draining the hell out of me. It has been taking away my life, it has been taking away my energy, it has been taking away my dreams. And so I'm just gonna do it different. And so you allow yourself to bring in love and acceptance and understanding of the way you knew how that self preservation that protection. That's the way I knew. It's okay. Here's a new way. Let's step into this new way. And so this way can just shift no blame, no shame, no even needing to do much as you're practicing, visit, cleans it out. It cleans it up. Stepping into a positive mindset as we're cleaning up what's needed for the negative. That's it. Self love that self care. Put in here. Amen. Right. Put in the comments how this relates for you. Put in the comments how you are loving yourself, accepting yourself getting it, stepping into being a creator of your dreams versus a creator of doing it afraid. You don't have to do it afraid. You can do it afraid. And that's okay. If that's all you know how. That's all I knew how and look where it got me. It's worked, shatter a lot of work.
Doesn't have to be so much work. It can be lighter. It can be easier. It can be filled with joy and peace and contentment. Let it be right and last.
Instead of being I gotta do what I gotta do what I gotta do what I can't feel, I can't feel I have to do this. I have to do this for my family. I have to do this for my clients. I have to make a difference out there in the world. And if I don't, I'm a failure.
If I don't, my dreams are going to die with me. Now that's very passionate.
It's also very painful and it's very frightening. And that is where I used to come from only
So as I'm thinking about it, I can feel that pain, that's such pain driven, it's still powerful. And it will still motivate it got me where I am. So again, don't judge it, don't beat it down, love it
and move into a new way.
Move into, I am success driven. I'm success driven. And I am driving my clients by success. And I am driving my dreams by success, that I'm driving my life by success, you feel that difference. It's so much more powerful, it's so much more invigorating, and it brings you life, it connects you to that, that, that, that love that God has for you. It connects you to that power, it connects you to receiving versus just pouring out of you feeling so dry, feeling so empty. Feeling so Oh, I don't have any more to give.
Let God pour into you. Let that fill you up. And if you don't like the term God, I that's where I'm coming from. That's who I am. But if you want to use the term universe, if you want to use whatever it is for you, let that fill you up. Because your your, your spiritual path, your spiritual drive your spiritual journey, it's yours. It's not for me to judge, it's not for you to judge mine, it's for each of us to love where we're at.
God is going to take you to the place your spiritual journey is going to take you to the place of learning and growing and developing and thriving, you're going to know your truth. Right? And I believe that our truth is, is knowing God and loving God and, and that's okay, where we're at. You're on your spiritual journey, we can have conversations about it. You know, that's where we know and love each other in truth in conversation, not in random judging, and thoughts and that kind of thing. So don't do it to yourself, don't do that random judging, and fear of I'm going to fail if I don't do this. Instead, it's, I'm going to succeed because I'm going to do this. Do you feel the difference? Do you see that difference? That is allowing God to pour into you, that is allowing you to connect your energy to his energy and stay connected. This this success driven?
Is abundance driven as love driven as God driven as you being the hands and feet of God to go I am out there making a difference? I am being the difference in the world that I want to see. Oh, heck yeah.
At that, that's where you're filled. That's where you're connecting. That's where you're absorbing love and energy and, and all of that from, from the earth from the sun from everything that God's blessing into us. He says, I give you this. So don't hesitate. Let that sun
let the energy fill you up, let all the frequencies everything has its frequency. Everything has a flow, even the earth it's been measured scientifically as a hum.
Have you ever heard somebody's home the most beautiful song. And you're just like,
I'm just filled up with that. Because you are. Allow that energy to flow into you allow God's love, energy frequency to flow into you. I know some of this stuff you may not have heard. And some of you might be saying, Oh, that's weird stuff. It's science guys look it up. It's your brain has its own vibration. Your heart has its own vibration. That's what they're measuring. You see it on an EKG. So it's not made up, it's real.
And how you feel, you're able to notice, okay, if I'm feeling really bad, that means I'm creating a negative energy. So let me check in how do I get back to creating the positive energy? What love and support what cleaning up do I need in my heart, and my body and my thinking? Okay, I'm learning from Tammy, this is the cleaning up that I need.
Cool. Guys, these are from tools that I've learned for decades. This isn't stuff I'm just pulling out of my hand. And this is I've had personal development training. I've had Bible studies training and from various churches from various understandings. I've had my bachelor's degree and my master's degree and, and continued training and I've had my massage training, I've had energy training, I've had all of these different trainings that I was so afraid to learn because I felt they were bad. And then I began learning in science that these all come together. This is all science. It's just one didn't understand the other so they talk bad about it. You know, we don't understand something. So we talk smack.
Bringing it all together and knowing how to use it. Science, spirit, mind, emotion, using these tools that God gave us all together. It's so cool.
So how can you allow yourself to use these tools now that you have this new awareness and this is step number one. I've got more to come next Wednesday. I'll be here step number two.
We're going to keep practicingstuff to help you shift out of shoot, I have been negatively motivated, which has been having me feel anxious. It's been having me feel not good enough. It's been having me strive toward perfection. So I feel like I'm perfect.
Why? If I have all of these steps perfectly down? Do I still feel like, I'm not enough?
Why does it show up? Well here, but not here. Why am I showing well in my business, but without my relationships? Or why am I in such a struggle with my children?
Or why sometimes does it all seem to fall apart?
And I'm working so hard. Why, now that everything's together, the loved one that I had is gone.
And now everything seems to fall apart or something has occurred, that has you feel like, you don't even want to try anymore? Okay.
Allow yourself, say in the comments, that's me, this is what's going on.
Let me know what additional supports you need. I'm bringing it to you every Wednesday, you've got this. Just because you've been negatively motivated, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Just because you might be positively motivated. And then you feel dry. It might be because underneath that there is a negative motivation. Or it might be because you're not letting yourself a lot you're doing it alone. And so the well is dry, there's not an overflow, I mean, our review.
So let me know. So I can support you even more.
All right, summarize this guy's positively motivated, we're going to be staying in our focus, we're going to be dreaming big, we're going to be filled with determination, we're going to have a positive mindset, we're going to be success driven. And we're gonna still love ourselves. If we find that we're being motivated out of pain, we're going to be loving ourselves, if we see that we're being motivated out of fear of failure or fear of criticism, or in some self blame driven or in some fear of success, we're going to love ourselves, because we're going to be able to see, hey, that's telling me something is telling me something I need to shift, or change or clean up.
Loving yourself through it, guys, you deserve it. And you might say no, I don't deserve that I deserve. Well,
there's something going on there that needs some support to
love that, too. So let me know how this has supported you let me know how this has brought some things up. So you can go home that might be a little bit heavy, but it's opening my eyes, right? It's just like a beautiful butterfly that's in the cocoon. We can't just cut the cocoon and let it out. It's got to push through and be uncomfortable. So it's okay if you're in the uncomfortable, because as you push through that little hole of pressure of change.
That's what your wings are gonna open up. That's really transformation.
So let yourself go through the uncomfort. Know that going through the tension is part of the process, stay in the tension.
And if you need help,
when you need help, as you need help, reach out. I'm a text away, phone call away. Messenger away. I'm right here. I needed help. And I needed it for a very long time to learn what I've learned. And I can give it to you in just a matter of a short time. I've helped people change their entire lives.
You can do
you take care of you. I love being here with you. It's my honor. Again, my name is Tammy workman Lopez.
My company is sparks hope. I honor you. I honor the work that you're doing.
Sending you prayers. And as always bring it in.
Big, big squishy hugs.
And if you've asked any questions, I don't see them coming up on Facebook. Sometimes they come in after I don't know why I apologize for that.
But I will answer them I will answer them on the next Facebook Live. I will also answer them to you directly and personally. So do not hesitate. If you're watching this on replay, put hashtag replay and still respond like you're watching it live. Because I will go back and I will answer them like I am live. You take care of you. And I will see you next Wednesday. And just a reminder, the second Friday of the month if you're here local powerful women networking. So that's going to be the 10th of June and the first Friday of the month I come on for revive your relationship. And so you can look that up as well but I will be posting it in my Facebook. So you can register and that is for individuals or couples who want to work on their relationship whether it's a relationship right now and you're in a couple relation
friendships, whether it's before marriage, whether it's during marriage, whether you're thinking about ending your marriage, it doesn't matter. This work works, I have helped couples stay together. But I've also helped couples to see if maybe staying together isn't the best thing. My goal is to help you to stay together. But it's also to help you to see if you are fighting each other and hurting each other, then we've got to figure out how to help that change. And if you're together, and you realize one of you doesn't want to change.
Staying in hurt, is not good for each other. Right fighting to have a relationship work. That really you're fighting and hurting each other, maybe hurting the children. Maybe even worse. Talk about our words are just words or thoughts are just thoughts. Even if you decide you want to stay together and it's not working, I will still support you and what you need.
We think and we're told that we have to stay in these things and not talk about it. Instead feel shame and guilt and think there's something wrong with us.
That's why this is here to support you to guide you to help you through whatever you're going through. So first Friday of the month, revive your relationships starting with yourself, second Friday of the month, perform in networking, that one is face to face and live, the revive your relationship is online. So it doesn't matter where you are and you can share it with them whatever area of life and the revive your relationship is free. I will be sharing with you in that group how you can join me and continue to work with me. The
The other thing I wanted to share with you is I will be offering a recording a morning meditation that was inspired by
a couple of my clients who just needed that extra support. And you guys know who you are. I love you so much. Because as I'm working with my clients, I'm learning with my clients, I'm growing with my clients. It's so beautiful. I love it. So anyways, those are some ways that you can continue to work with me, and I look forward to hearing from you. And please do share this information because For you it might be something that you're used to doing, that might be normal for you. You're getting support, you're getting help, you're learning you're listening, but there's other people who never even heard of this stuff. I just want to send you big squishy hearts when you take care of you and Ciao for now. And by the way,
You probably already know know that you are loved when
You take care of you and have a great week. Ciao for now.