Are you positively motivated or negatively motivated? (Part 2: We will learn the tools to create a consistent and permanent change toward positive, energized, & uplifted motivation practice)
Video Dated: June 04, 2022
Good morning and happy Wednesday. I hope you guys are having a wonderful time. Happy June, we are in the middle of the year, if you can believe it, right? I've been reading up on different things to say how, as we're getting older, it feels like time is speeding by. And there's so many different reasons as to why but either way still feels that way. The best way to work on it is taking a look at today's topic. Are you negatively or positively motivated in your life? And why is that the best way to take a look at it? Well, if you're being driven through your year, and it feels really great, then you're in such a good space.
But if you're being driven through your year, and like, oh gosh, I can't keep up, there's so many things that it's even hard to breathe, let alone get through the day. So today, we're going to be talking a bit more about that. And it's going to be a part two. So what I want to do is I just want to go over a little bit of what we talked about last time, so that way, you can see a bit of both. So let me go ahead and go back, you can actually do this too, you can go back and take a look at last week's infographic. And tomorrow you're going to see an infographic as well.
And what I do is I create these infographics for you because our subconscious mind remembers in pictures and in colors, and in symbols. And so the infographic will actually help you to remember this stuff that we talked about when you're kind of like, wait, what, what are we talking about? I don't quite remember. Yeah. So this will actually help you to be able to do that. Okay, so what I want to do is share this with you also. over to my page, so that way you guys see it there, and then go ahead and grab the share link and share it over to anyone else that you think would need this support, you can let them know about the infographic and the one that's coming tomorrow, too.
So they get these freebies, and they get their hands on this stuff. And they practice this, they need this for their life for the rest of the year. And each year coming forward. If they're being motivated from a negative perspective, or from a pain driven perspective. So the cool thing is, is if you're driven, there's that's better than being stuck, right? That's better than being I don't know what to do.
I just I feel like I'm never getting anywhere. I feel like I'm going backwards is better than that. However, what if you're somebody who has a high pain tolerance? What if they are somebody who has a high pain tolerance, and I know a lot of people like that. And so what if they do, then they're going to take a very long time, if ever to shift out of that pain motivation. And so that's going to be making them have a much harder time, a much more stressful time.
And even though it might be this feeling of moving forward, it's this feeling of moving forward. And yet I can't breathe the whole time, and there's no reason that we have to live there. And I share these things, and I tell you this, and I share it out of transparency, that that's where I've been, and sometimes I get in there. I'm not going to be like, Oh, I'm perfect all the time. No, no, I'm not. I do this, we're going to share it with my clients, because I've been through it.
And there are times when I go through it. I'm always pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. So when I'm in that space, if I'm not careful, I can feel like I'm drowning. And so it's very important to have tools have supports have the things that you need. So when you're in that space, and that feeling of Johnny comes it's like wait, wait, no, no. Practice my breathing, practicing my breath work and practicing my thinking and practicing writing it down and practicing these tools that I've learned.
I'm practicing. Okay, yep, there goes, it's going, it's going it's gone. Okay, I'm breathing. I've got this back on track, right. And there are times when I have to do that on a consistent basis. And when I'm working with my clients and helping them retrain their thinking, and retrain their emotional reaction and retrain their responsiveness, it takes a little bit of time to get that stuff down.
So if you don't have it down, da, it's because you haven't practiced it yet. So give yourself a break. There's nothing wrong with you, but when we have these things, it certainly feels like there's something wrong with us. It feels like we're broken, it feels like we're about to die, it feels like life is not going to get better. Just know that's just a feeling and as you're going through this process, and as you're learning these types of tools, it gets better I promise you it gets better because he got better for me. And I'm not I'm I'm special and I'm unique but I'm also a human being and to that regard I'm not special.
And I'm not unique because I've trained people this information, I've watched them change. I've watched him grow, I've watched them, create better relationships and create the way they want to follow up in their business and create all of the things that they want in the success in their life. So I know this is doable. This isn't just a one off that I was able to accomplish. So I want you to make sure that you're in that space, as you're listening to that today, like, Oh, this is doable. Other people can do this. I can do this. Heck, yeah, you can. Alright, cool beans. So what you want to do take a look at the infographic from last week, and you can see the different areas that are there.
Now the other thing that you can take a look at is each step going down the recording that I did last time walks you through it. And so watch last week's video, and you'll also be watching this one too. Okay. Alright, so we're gonna get into it. And so there is not an order to these, I'm going to, you know, speak them in the order that I have them on the infographic. But there isn't a particular order that you have to go in line with them. So keep that in mind. Okay. All right, cool beans. So number one, and again, these are not an order, is you can either make your choices out of enjoying life, or you can make your choices out of feeling like a hopelessness.
And you might be like, well, how does hopelessness motivate me, but it can sound something like, I'm never gonna get there, I'm never going to do this. But you know what, I'm going to keep going, I'm going to keep pushing, because it's going to happen. But underneath that is this feeling of, I know, I'm going to fail, I fail every time. It's just, I know, I gotta keep pushing forward, because I'm never gonna give up, I'm gonna keep going. Or you can come from a place and try this on for yourself, you might be like, I don't think so I've never had that it's always been hard.
Life is always hard. It's never been easy, you might have that going on. And that's okay, allow yourself to do the activity that I've shared with you take a piece of paper, fold it in half. And on the left hand side, write down any negative thinking that you've got going on, write down how it makes you feel write down where you feel that tension in your body. And then do this activity, right? I want you to allow yourself to breathe in, and as you're breathing, and I want you to say different words to yourself, like I'm breathing in love, I'm breathing in kindness, I'm breathing in compassion. And at the same time that you're doing that I'd like for you to imagine, imagine.
Yeah, this is a beautiful person and you might have trouble doing that, at first, if you're not able to do that with yourself. Just imagine any person that you have loved, or that you have taken care of, or even on TV. So if you're you're kind of young, and you haven't taken care of anyone yet you haven't done any babysitting. You can think about when you've seen somebody on TV, taking care of somebody else, like Oh, that's awesome. People should be taken care of like that.
You might have even said to yourself, I wish I had been taken care of like that because some of us have been through situations where our families did not take care of us. And instead, it was a hardship. Instead, they were rejecting instead, they were actually abusive. And the opposite of taking care of us, maybe you had to take care of yourself. And so that imagine like, Oh, I wish I could have been taken care of like that. I'd like you to imagine that you have this beautiful person in your life. And you're taking care of them like that they're doing the best that they can.
They're living life, and they're giving their all. And so when would you ever say to them, you're gonna fail? When would you ever say to them, you're not good enough? When would you ever say to them, You know what, you could try all you want, but you should just give up. You might be like saying to me right now, I would never talk to somebody like that. How painful is that? Perfect. As you're breathing in that love and that peace and that healing, they want you to also breathe in, I will never talk to you like that again.
I will never tell you you're going to fail. I will never tell you those things. Instead, you're going to succeed. You succeeded yesterday, you made it through, you're alive, you're going to succeed today, you're going to make it through, you're going to be alive, you're going to make these things happen. You're going to make a difference into yourself, you're going to make a difference into your life. You are powerful, you are amazing. Like speak that into your life. Even if you don't believe it.
Words are powerful. They will bring that power into your life. I promise you, I promise you. Even if at first you want to resist it, you're like it doesn't work. I don't want to let it work. Not gonna let it work. Right. We could do that we can put on our sourpuss face and not but it's still working. It is still working. I promise you just like I've got this sore. What whether or not I put a bandaid on it, it's still going to heal.
Even if I keep banging it, it's still going to heal. You're still going to heal as you say those things to yourself. And even if you're just hearing my words and you refuse to say it to yourself, I've got this, I can do this. I'm never hopeless Right, shift into that. And so then the second one is helpless.
There are a lot of times when we might even say to somebody else, I can't do anything, I can't help them. I'm not even able to or they're just too much. They're just too heavy, I can't help them and so you may go into this space of feeling like you're helpless, I can't help my child, I can't help my mom, they're sick, they're going to die. Or, you know, I don't know, if they're going to die, they might get better. Whatever it is, you're never helpless, you have prayer, you're there to listen, you're there to support you can smile, which brings positive endorphins into your life into their life, you're able to create, you are never helpless.
You just may have the thought that you are, but that thought is never true. Even if you see somebody in any kind of struggle, you can tell them hey, step left, that's going to help you better step right, that's gonna help you better take these vitamins that's going to help you better do this thing that's gonna help you better. If you have somebody in your life, who is not going to listen to you. You could say to them, You know what, I love you anyway. That is bringing them love and connection, I'm going to pray for you anyway.
Even if you're smoking and you're dying of lung cancer, I'm going to love you anyway. And I'm gonna pray for you anyway because you're awesome. And I love you and your life is worth it. And that, you know, whatever, everybody has their own choices. You are never helpless. You are never hopeless, if you don't want to be. Sometimes if we're not careful, that could actually be a motivator to you want to be really mindful if that's what's going on for you.
The other is allowing yourself to be able to take a look at things sometimes we're driven out of, don't let those haters shut you down. That's cool, right? We're not going to let people bring us down, right. But if we're coming from a place of, I'm gonna do better than you learn and be better than my parents. They were just shit. Right? so doesn't mean it's not true. But when we're coming from resentment, and coming from comparisons of those things that we don't like, it's not moving us forward from a healthy place, it's moving us forward from a heavy place.
And so it's going to zap out your energy. And so even if these things are true, I'll give an example, let's say you did have a ship parent. You know, my parents came from a really rough place, they were not the smartest, they did not become the best parents, they didn't use the tools and resources that were out there. They didn't know how to do it, they didn't think it was possible. They thought that, you know, this is all it could be, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to shift forward into and then step into what gives you courage.
What gives you strength, what moves you into feeling like, what right? So for example, with my mom, I step into, I see, and I've learned from her what not to do. I see and I learned from her what to do and I'm going to take what to do, and I'm going to do it. And I'm going to take what not to do, and I'm going to do it. And I'm going to move forward into the best things in my life. And I'm going to move forward into the learnings and all those things that she didn't get into.
Because I see that they're possible, I see how to do them and how to use them. And when I don't, I'm going to ask people because I know it's okay to ask for help. Because I'm not going to let my ego get in the way. Because I want to thrive. And I want to make a difference for others. So they can thrive too. Right. So I took that story of where I could be resentful. And at times I was, I really was I just wanted to be loved so bad. But I shifted out of that resentment, and I shifted into what I share with you now. And I've been growing from there ever since. Because I realized that was her pain that she was putting on me. But if I didn't take it, if I let it stay hers.
And that place felt neutral. That place felt safer than that pain that I was taking on saying this is what she wanted to do to me, this is how she wanted to hurt me. This is how you know and I and you know, this is how she fed me. This is how she closed. This is how she talked to me. Most of it wasn't very good but instead I realized that was her crap. She didn't know how to do it any different.
She thought that was the best way to do it for her in her life. She thought I was just this mean little person who wanted to hurt her and lie to her and do all these things. She didn't realize the development of a child. And so because I knew better I could take my wisdom and I could go no I'm not not not carrying that crap. It's too painful. Why would I do that to myself? And I shifted it. It was not easy. I can promise you. I can guarantee you it was not easy.
But it was worth it. And now the work that I share with you and I share it with clients.
I would not have done it without that motivation initially of pain. And so I'm grateful for it but I'm also grateful that I can shift out of it. And I'm grateful that I could be here to share with you and show you how to shift out. Okay, number four and again, like I mentioned, these are not in order. So it's important to take a look at, you are creating success all the time, you get to take a look at your value your rewards that you deserve.
To oftentimes there are people that I work with, and I'm guilty of this. Oh, well, you know, that's just God. That's not me. That's the worst thing you could say to yourself about your God. God made you powerful and amazing. You're a miracle. Right? Okay, maybe you wouldn't be able to be as that way without him. But you're choosing to use the tools he gave you. You're choosing to be a meaningful person in the world.
Others are not. Others are getting joy of hurting others. So pay attention to who you really are. Jesus never said no, I'm shit. I'm crap. Why would you say that about yourself? You are not, you are amazing. So you don't ever get to put yourself down. If you're putting yourself down, you're putting God down. You get to be aware of that. You want other people to own their value and own their worth, but you won't really own that not like, I'm the best.
And you're crap. No, not like that. Not to put others down. I'm an amazing rose. You're an amazing rose. I don't have to compare myself. I don't have to put myself down and make others look better. I don't have to put myself down and make God look good. God's awesome. Why would I say, oh, no, no, no, I didn't do that. That was God. God says my child, you'll go out, you'll be my hand, you'll be my feet, you'll be my voice, you'll be my strength. If you're say saying that you're nothing, then you're saying everything he's giving you is nothing.
Everything he's put into you is nothing. Cut that out. And I apologize for being a little crusty this one. But you get to cut it out, cut it out. Stop that. Don't you dare put yourself down. Get to own it. Own that God. When Jesus came, He said, I am the Son of God. He has given me this. Don't worship me worship him. But he has given me this. And you can have this to you do the same thing. I am powerful. I am mighty. And believe me, I have to practice this myself.
So I'm talking to both of us here. Right? Because I've also been taught like you, we've got to be humble. But what we've been miss-taught that humble means you're supposed to be a doormat and act like you're not good enough. Don't do that. If you saw a miracle, would you let somebody poopoo on that miracle? If you saw the grace of God? Would you let somebody poopoo on the grace of God, you are that you are a living, breathing, walking miracle.
You are the grace of God. Don't you dare poopoo on that, and don't you let anybody else we get to break out of this misunderstanding of what humble means. Humble means I don't get to crap on other people and act like I'm better than they are. But Humble also gets to mean, I get to stand in my power. I get to do that in a humble way. I am freaking amazing and you're freaking amazing.
We get to stand in God's strength and we get to stand in God's grace and we get to stand in our power. He's given you the power to heal. He's given you the power to speak life. He's also given you the power because it's freewill. You can use that power and you can take life.
When you put somebody down, including yourself, you are taking life from them. How have you ever felt if somebody said something harsh to you? The brain responds when being rejected as though you're getting physical pain. That is a scientific fact. So if you're saying these unkind things to yourself, it is though you are taking a knife and stabbing yourself in the head.
So please do not say Oh, words are just words. If you are using them to hurt somebody. They are not just words. They are going to hurt somebody if you're using them to uplift somebody. If they allow it.
Other people might be like, Oh, you're just saying that you're just my mom, or you're just my dad. You don't mean it. Just because somebody is your mom or dad doesn't mean they don't mean it. And actually, if they're saying it, after all the crap you've pulled, they mean it more.
They know you more than anyone else does. So let yourself know how great you are. Get it together. Know that your love know that you're amazing whether you like it or not, buddy. All right, I'm off that.
Last one, number five, we can be motivated by labels that have been given to us that we now own. So for example, you're called Stupid, you're told to shut up. If you're told you're not good enough, you might have a new label that says, on an approved view that I'm good enough. I'm not stupid, I'm smart. Guess where we're proving ourselves from going to prove I'm not stupid.
I'm going to prove how smart I am because of these haters. And that's like driving everybody. You want to pay attention to that because unintentionally, there's the self labels you've got going on. And you've got to be careful with that. Instead, allow yourself to choose. I want to learn.
My passion is to learn. My passion is to grow. My passion is to thrive. My passion is to make a difference. My passion is to help people feel that they're loved.
My passion is to help families stay together. My passion is to help families stay together even if they have to separate so there's at least the respect and the connection. So every heart feels loved and feels valued. Those are my passions. And they may reflect yours, or yours might sound a little bit different.
But step into choosing from your passion versus choosing from your label. Right? Here's an example and this will be my last one. So I have my Associate's, my Bachelor's, my master's, I'm certified and all a bunch of things. I'm certified in healing, I'm certified in massage therapy, I'm certified in mind retraining work, I'm certified in pregnancy massage, I'm certified in geriatric massage, I'm certified in NLP, which is Neuro Linguistic Programming, I'm certified. I mean, you name it. I was not driven by passion of learning. I was driven because I felt like I was not good enough.
I had to be good enough. I had to be smart enough. I had to be wise enough. I had to know it. I had to know what I had to know it. I had to note before I could even speak it or practice it. Now, because I also have issues with my memory, that was even harder. I was stuck in not good enough.
I was stuck in pain. I was stuck in turmoil all the time. And I can tell you, it comes back but I work on it and I release it quickly and easily now. And the reason I'm sharing this with you is because there are so many of us that are being driven. Yay, we got this, you know we're going we're hustling, we're Bossen but you really want to pay attention to what's driving you.
Because at the end of the day, you'll either feel like, Yeah, I did it. Or you'll be like, Yeah, you did it. I'm just there's no more to give, I'm just and you'll feel this constant burned out because you're being driven by I have to I have to I have to I have to I have to, I gotta push past this. I gotta prove these haters wrong. I got to prove my mom and dad wrong.
I got to prove myself wrong. I got to prove this doubt wrong, it got pushed and pushed and pushed. And you're just pushing a machine that has no more gas, it has no more oil. But it's simple enough to gas it back up. It's simple enough to put some oil in there by coming from your passion because it automatically lubricates it and fills it with love.
It fills it with connection, it fills it with your drive it feels with you, too, you can do it that right now. Everything that I'm sharing with you, it takes a little bit of time to reprogram your thinking. That is why I am the mindset reset guru. I help people practice this in their life with their specific examples with their specific relationships with their specific entrepreneurship business or in their career with specific ways that you might be struggling with taking care of yourself and your health or finding value for yourself. Stepping into your own confidence, your own self worth. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you although it may feel like that.
It doesn't mean you're broken although it may feel like you're in 100 pieces. There are Her ways to work through this, there's ways to practice this. So if this sounds like something that's going to work for you, I want you to reach out, I do a breakthrough call, you don't have anything you have to, you know, invest into it except for your time. But I want you to think about that breakthrough call like you are investing into it, because it is worth it, right.
And you can take a look and say, Hey, I really want to do this, I really want to work with you, I really want to get these outcomes happening in my life. So then we can set up an action plan for you and begin, and you will start getting results from the very first time we speak. And I suspect you're getting results. All right, as you go and practice this, what I'm doing for you today is a real life session, guys. I'm not just blowing smoke to blow smoke, this is for you.
And I do this, because I needed it for me. And I didn't know how to find it. I did all kinds of things, therapies and trainings and in schooling and I was doing everything I could to figure it out. But I didn't know how to break through my own negative programming. And so that is why I do this work to teach you have no catch.
Just have that desire in my heart because I remember what it felt like when I was feeling so broken, and so alone, and just wishing to die as a little kid. And I don't want to leave anybody there. That is my negative drive. And that's okay. I don't I don't make it wrong or bad because my positive drive is to help families stay together. My positive drive is when I hear kids go, I know how to think about my parents like that.
And when I hear parents go, I've never had a relationship with my kids like this. That is my positive drive as well so that's what I put my most focus on. But I do share my negative drive with you too. So you understand, it's human nature. But we don't have to be stuck with it only because it can hurt.
And it can make us sick and that's where I was for a long time. And so now you can take the tools that I have learned, and you could get them in a much shorter time. I'm 45 you don't need to take 45 years. Yeah, All right, cool beans to take a look at that. For that infographic. I'm also going to be sending out my newsletter.
And so what I want you to be able to do if you want to get my newsletter monthly, I'm also going to be sharing with you in this link, my newsletter link. And so you'll be able to get this information. And there's also this this infographic from yesterday and today will be in there as well. I love you guys so much. I appreciate you. I love that you're working on your life and getting things done.
It's just I know it's outside the box work. And it's just brave. So thank you for being brave, because as you're changing your life, you're helping me get the word out. And together we're changing the world. One Heart at a time guys. And just like that story about the starfish might seem like one heart doesn't matter. It might seem like 1000 starfish throwing one in the in the ocean. It doesn't matter. For that one. It matters. So share this information and reach even just one because it matters. Alright,
Bring it in big squishy hugs beautiful people. You take care of you and I will see you next week. same bat channel same bat time.
Let me know any of your questions. If you're watching the replay watch hash put in hashtag replay. Let me know what questions or how this has supported you. So I know that you're on here for one because guys, so many of you are watching but you're not telling me support me by telling me okay. All right, you take care. Ciao for now.