8 Self-Forgiveness Exercises to Create Forgiveness for Yourself Today

Video Dated: Mar 13, 2022

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So today's topic might be a little off for you. You might be thinking, whatever, I don't want to practice self forgiveness, I'd rather be irritated with myself. And then you're likely why would I think that? It's okay, if you think that right, there are things that we think it makes no logical sense whatsoever. So it's important that you give yourself a break and realize it's not logical, right?

A lot of these beliefs and things we created when we were little. So when we're going back to look at them, Now, you might say things like, well, I know what the problem is, I know what I need to change, but you're not sure how to change it. And that's the biggest thing you feel stuck. And so what this is going to do, this is going to help you to get unstuck, to help you to be able to see that this stuff's going on, because it's more of a subconscious thing. You created this belief to help protect yourself. And so your mind and body saying, I'm not letting this go, this is protecting me. But as you're looking on, you can see the results and you can go wait a second, this isn't protecting me. So it's just like what Twilight Zone going on here. Well, even though it might feel like that way, this is totally normal and natural.

Our little minds, when we're growing up, are recording the stuff around us. They're seeing what's gonna keep us safe, what's gonna keep us from getting in trouble, what's going to keep our families feeling loved and appreciated, what's going to help us, you know, get through this experience. And sometimes it's a mild experience, and parents are loving, but we might have this self imposed belief, it's in different things going on. Or we might have had parents that were really tough and really hard. And so they actually helped us to create these things. Either way, it's something that you've been able to create that you're not aware of. So that's why I say it's happening more on a subconscious level. But it's not as subconscious as you think. Because you know, there's stuff going on, like, I know, I'm doubting myself, I know, I'm judging myself, I know, I'm limited in this way. Because I can't do that, or I know my relationships are affected or I know I don't take time for myself, I know I don't even like my body or like myself, or you know, any one of those things, and everybody's sounds different. So yours might sound similar to that, but a little little here, or it might sound similar. But to hear everybody's is a little bit different. But overall, it's the same results. It's creating this heavy for you. And the first place to get started, or one of the first places to get started, is helping yourself practice self forgiveness. And that's why I've been talking about this so much this month, and last month. And I'm actually creating a forgiveness to freedom workbook.

And so when you're practicing this forgiveness, through that forgiveness, it's going to create that freedom for you. So be on the lookout for that workbook. And these recordings are going to be helping you to be able to take a look at, well, this is great advice. But how, right, you can have somebody tell you something all day long. But if you don't know how, in your own concepts, you're not going to be doing it the way you want to, you're going to be like, Oh, I'm still doing it wrong. Or I want to I want to get this result, or I want to forgive myself or I want to create that healthy relationship or I want but there's just this want without knowing how that's a very heavy, helpless feeling. Oh, right. And you don't need to feel that because you're not helpless. You're not in a feel that way, because you might have some things going on. But it's so not the truth. So this allows you to be able to shift from that. And so you're going to take a look at any one of my posts on my freedom from negative thinking Facebook group, which I hope you're a part of, because that means you're watching this live and not just a recording. Or you can be seeing it on my Instagram or YouTube on my Facebook, I'm sorry, on my website. Either way, let me know what comes up for you. And as you do, you'll also see the eight tips that I want to share with you and that's what we're going to be taking a look at today.

So let me go ahead and I'm going to post in here the eight tips so you can see them and I'm putting this in the comments so that way you can copy it because I want you to actually practice this, this isn't just you know, I'm not just putting this out here for myself. This is for you to be able to put these into practice. And so as you're putting them into practice, they're going to make a lot of sense for you. You can also see on the post from yesterday, and this morning, you'll see that there's a little infographic and you can just take a screenshot of that infographic and keep it and keep coming back to it, the colors will make it pop for your mind, the pictures will make it be memorable for your mind. And, and when you add the colors and the words and the pictures to the subconscious mind, it can shift things, because that's how it learns. Now, the very first thing you're going to see is write down those negative thoughts. And you might not even think it's negative, and I work with my clients with this all the time, they're going to tell me something that's true. It's just true. It's not negative. It's true. Okay. But does it make you feel bad? Does it make you feel a negative emotion when you think it, yeah, then it's a negative thought, I want you to write that down.

And as you're writing it down, notice how you feel right down next to it, how you feel. So I'm going to do this with you, you're going to take a piece of paper, you take that piece of paper, and you're going to fold that these paper now, just like that. And while it's folded in half, you're going to take your pen, and you're going to draw a line down that piece of paper. So it makes it easier to draw the line. You don't have to do it that way if you don't want to. But I think it's kind of fun little creative, in my mind didn't draw. So I'm going to fold it back again and draw the line. And on one side, the left hand side that's going to be the negative thoughts and on the right hand side is going to be the positive thoughts and we're going to get to that piece. So say, for example, a negative thought that I hear often from my clients is I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. Or I can't forgive myself, I can't forgive myself. Or I can't forgive period. Whatever the case may be anything that has you feel like her I don't like that, write it in there. And then write the emotion next to it. And there's other recordings that I've done to help you to become very clear of emotions and what they need and mean. And that would be another video I suggest you take a look at because this is a building block to help you understand this process.

And if you don't understand your emotions, you might be feeling a lot of emotions and call it one thing, for example, if I say frustrated, but if we take that apart a little bit and go Well, is there anger? Yes. Is there sadness? Yes. Is there loneliness? Yes. Is there inadequacy? Yes. Is there a fear? Yes, is there? Oh, so frustration is an indication of many things, not just one. But we tend to use frustration as a one thing, and then we're not able to pull apart what the heck's going on for us. So that just gives you that example. And so as you're writing it down and getting it out of your head, you're not looping it, like you were, it's helping you to begin to, okay, I can break this down, I can feel better, I can think better. And it really helps you to make that difference in your life in your body and in your experience. So then, number two, what you're going to be doing is you're going to be noticing those thoughts, and the emotion. So like I mentioned, is it bringing guilt? Is it bringing shame? Is it bringing judgment? Is it bringing more like a condescending, judgmental behavior onto yourself, write that down. And then on the other side, this other side is going to be the positive thoughts. And so what's the positive thought of I'm not good enough.

I've succeeded 100 times I've succeeded 1000 times I've succeeded a million times. And if you've gotten up every day of your life, and you've gotten dressed, and you've taken care of yourself and taken care of the things you needed to even if it was just a few things, and those are a success. And so however old you are, multiply that by 20 Because you've done 20 successful things each day, you got dressed, you ate, you took care of yourself, you made it out alive. You didn't kill anybody. You accomplish whatever you set out to accomplish one way or another that day. Maybe you made somebody feel good. You made sure you ate you made sure that you went to the bathroom, you made sure that you kept your body clean. Right and so there's all these little things that you don't think of but they have had to have happened for you to be here today. Right? You didn't hurt yourself intentionally. Or if you did, you still made it out alive. So you didn't take your life, right? Sometimes that might seem like Well, that's silly, but there's people including myself who spend So many, many thoughts and many, many days just thinking, take this, take this business do art. And yet, we made it.

So allow yourself to see those are frickin successes. Yo, they are they are. And now being able to understand, Oh, those were just thoughts, my thoughts not in control of me, I could have a negative thought it doesn't mean anything, I'm okay. It just means I need to handle whatever that negative thoughts coming about. So you're writing down? What is the thing that you're going to replace that judgment with? Like, oh, I'm successful, oh, I've done this. And I've done that. And I've done this. And I've done that. And I've done this. And I've done that. And so you're replacing it, I am successful, I am amazing. I have succeeded at this. And I succeeded at that. And I've made changes in the world. And I've made people happy. And I've fill in the blanks, right helped you to be able to create that change that's in there. And so then what you want to do is you want to be able to in that positive side, think about what mistakes have I made? Or what blessing have come from the mistakes I've made? So for example, did it get rid of a negative person in your life? Did it make you stand up for yourself? Did it help you to see what you won't do next time? Did it help you to make changes you didn't realize you needed to make?

So jot those things down in there. It'll help you to get real clear on what are the blessings and not just beating yourself up on the mistakes. Got it. Okay, so then we're moving into number four. Number four, what I want you to do is I want you to write down and you can put this in the positive column if you want or create a separate positive column. What would you say to a friend who made this mistake? Would you say to them, Oh, you're so stupid. I can't believe you did that. You're such a loser cheese. Why are you always making mistakes? Why can't you figure this out? Are you ever going to get this? The answer is yes. We need to talk about a whole other thing. But with all of my clients, the answer's no. No way. Would I talk to somebody like that. Am I kick somebody's butt? If they did. You are a beautiful person. You're making changes, you're doing everything to make a difference in the world, for your life, for your family, for your mind, for your body. You're doing the best that you can.

People that are doing the best that they can who are good and kind out in the world. Do you think they deserve to be beat up? Do you think they deserve to be hurt and push down and made to feel like they're nothing? No. No, you know, you know, they deserve kindness and love and support you, you know that they deserve so many chances to help them get through because they're gonna make mistakes. That's how they're learning. That's how they're growing. Just like a little kid who's trying to walk, they're gonna smack their head, oh, my gosh, they're gonna have so many welds, they're gonna knock stuff down. They're like drunk people. You don't judge them because they fall. Hey, hey, come here. Let me help ya. Let's try that again. Same thing is true for you might hear. That's the same support that you need. And you might be looking around going, Oh, it's not there. There's nobody there. I'm so alone. You are there. And the more supportive you can be to yourself, the more you're going to feel good, the more you're going to bring people to you who can help you. Because you're going to see you deserve it. And you're worth that help.

Yeah, these things might be very brand new to you. And they might take a little while to absorb and that's okay. But when I say a little while, as you practice this, you can get it by today. No kidding. It doesn't have to be like this little while years from now, it could be now it could be speaking into your life. Alright, so let's, let's keep going. We're going to be practicing this stuff. Alright, so number five. This is where I was talking about, you can roleplay now if you're uncomfortable at looking at yourself in the mirror, try it once or get a tiny mirror. Right and all you see is your eyeball. When we're not comfortable, and we judge ourselves looking into the mirror might feel very shameful, or stupid or whatever might come up. But that's just more of that self worth stuff going on. So practice, I have a mirror right here. So I'm going to look into it. And so you look into your mirror, or turn your phone around, open up your phone camera, like you're gonna do a selfie, you've done selfies, even if you're not comfortable with selfies, and look into it and speak that love and that life into yourself.

Speak to yourself what you were is said to a friend. And I'm going to pretend I'm holding the selfie camera right here, right? So I'm speaking to a friend, okay, you're doing the best that you can. There's no reason to blame or shame yourself, you didn't know that was going to be the outcome. And even if you did, you still wanted to figure it out, you still wanted to see what would happen, you still wanted to go through the process. It's part of your journey. So don't beat shame, guilt. hurt yourself. You do not need to be condemned. You can be convicted, like, Oh, I feel convicted in my heart, I want to make that change. And not condemned, like there's nothing you can do, and you should be punished for the rest of your life. There's a huge difference. So look into that mirror. You've got this, you're doing such a good job, I'm so proud of you. I'm looking into the mirror right now I'm looking into my eyes. You have gotten, you're gonna figure this out. And this mistake just means you know what not to do for next time. I'm so proud of you for trying, and you just keep growing. And I'm here for you.

And I will continue to speak love and light into your life. You're a beautiful child of God. And I know he's proud of you. Because I'm proud of you. And he's going to be way more proud of you than I am. Because he's just so cool. Like I used to not be able to look in the mirror, I still am a little uncomfortable at times. But I've practiced and practiced and practiced. And I look at myself and I support myself and I guide myself and I coach myself. My life was not like that for 30 some years, no kidding. Now, between my 20s and my 30s, I was way better. I practice personal development, I did all the trainings, I did the supportive stuff, I even did some mirror work in the trainings. I didn't know how to practice it, I still felt like whoa, whoa, this is so uncomfortable. It was, it was so big. But I did it. But what helped me to really get it was realizing my own thinking and my own judgments and my own pain and my own self inflictions and my own you're not good enough. And you're never going to be good enough. Yeah, go ahead and try that. But you're still not good enough. Oh, that's so painful. If you're going through that, you don't deserve it, just like I didn't deserve.

And so practice these, practice them starting today. And just like me, if you find this is too tough, I want you to reach out to me, take a look at my information over here, my number 954-657-3407, let's do it together. And I can help walk you through it, I can help you to see what's in your way and help you to move it out of the way. I'll be able to help you to see what's blocking you, I'll be able to help you catch the negative thinking you've got going on, we'll be able to roleplay things together. So you can see how maybe when you say or do a particular thing, what it's creating without meaning to, but because you're so in it, you can't quite see it. You don't need to judge yourself for that. I can't see the steps I took that made me fall down. I just know I tripped. But I can't see what I did. Because I didn't know I was going to fall in the first place. But somebody watching, they'll be able to see the steps I took and what caused me to trip and how I felt and how I could help myself get up and how they could be there to guide me. So allow yourself that same thing.

If this seems pretty tough because it is if you don't know how it was really tough for me, this work took me years. So if I can help you get it in a few sessions, by all means, don't waste the rest of your life thinking you have to do it yourself or you can't or talking about or just you embarrassing or whatever story you might have. that's holding you back. Time to get over that we don't have much life, right. My mom died in her 40s I'm in my 40s So we got to figure this out. Right now figured out like oh man, this is a word problem. I'm never gonna get it because I hate word problems. It's doable. And I can promise you it is because I've done it for myself and I've done it with my clients. And my clients are getting the results. They're getting the health, they're falling in love with themselves. They're falling in love with their families. Their families are falling in love with them. They're able to talk to their children in ways they never have before. I have 50 year old clients being able to talk to their parents in ways that they never have before. There is no too late. Too late yourself, haven't you deserve it? Okay. So you're going to be practicing that roleplay that's number five. Number six, what you're going to be doing, if you would like, you can let yourself write a letter. And this letter is going to be to you from a loving parent.

Now, I, my parents were odd. They loved the way that they loved, but it wasn't healthy. So I'm not thinking of my parents, when I write this letter. I'm thinking like, let yourself see, through God's eyes who you are. God that says, I made you. I thought about you, before I even created you. I thought about who you were going to be, and not about what you were going to do. I thought about all the potential that you have thought about all the difference you're going to make. Thought about our relationship and how much I just couldn't wait to hold you and love you. But the letter sound like that. And in that letter, it sounds like, you know, mistakes are part of life, right? You know, they're actually there to help you learn so you know what not to do next time, like going down a dead end. Now, you know, it's a dead end, you can put a dead Ensign there, you don't have to go back down that way unless you want to visit.

So helping yourself to see mistakes are healthy, is essential. It's just repeating the mistakes on a consistent basis, that makes it a problem. Or making some seriously poor choices. So we're gonna stake is so big of consequences. That's not really a mistake. In its essence, that's poor choices. So that mistake can help you take a look at, oh, I need to back it up, not just blame myself for the mistake, but back it up and change the thought process around those choices. So I don't do them again. So the mistake will help me to see those things. Let that let her speak to you like that loving kind and understanding, just as you would be with a friend. And that actually will lead us right into number seven. Number seven is, after that letter. Take a look at what awareness that you've gained. Take a look at what are some of the changes and improvements in your life that you've made or that you will make this mistake has helped you to see.

Allow yourself to go through these steps as though they are this life changing my friends because they are and you deserve it. Even if you don't believe it right now, take my word for it. Because I didn't think I deserved it. I literally knew I was going to die and go to hell. Because I deserved the punishment didn't deserve God's love. Do you think that would be true of a little kid trying to figure it out trying to get by, though is just taking on her mom's belief of her being such a terrible person? No, I didn't deserve that. I didn't deserve to think that I didn't deserve to have anybody telling me that. Especially the person that was stuck in my head with me. That told me the three day old. Let's clean out that mind trash. Ladies and gentlemen, we are done with it. Right? We are done with it. So allow yourself to practice speaking the supports over yourself. Allow yourself to continue to practice forgiving yourself looking into the mirror every day.

Allow yourself to know that you deserve to be forgiven Hekia allow yourself to practice of forgiveness that says, Oh, dang, I didn't realize I've been doing it like that. I didn't realize I've been abusing myself and talking to myself that way. I just thought it was a truth that was going on inside my head. I didn't realize I created it and I can change it. That forgiveness isn't Oh, well. Look what I did. It's okay. Now that forgiveness is Oh shoot. I'm not doing that anymore. I'm changing my ways. I'm changing my life. I'm changing how I feel I'm changing how I think. And so it allows for the mistake to be well worth it. And you deserve it. So I hope these help you look at the infographic take a screenshot of it, look at the talking points, copy them and put them into a Word doc for yourself or into your Google calendars. You can see it every day. Make a daily reminder. Whatever time you wake up, have it right there. And you could read those things and do the measure Reading them quickly, just like I did with you.

Now, initially, you might see just like now it took a little longer. But as you do it, it's gonna happen faster, faster, faster, faster, faster. I want you to meet me each Wednesday for these live webinars. For now they're free. Get these tools, get this information and share it with others. People do not know this, they are beating themselves up every day all day long. They are feeling inadequate, they're feeling not good enough. And they know that they're not. But that knowing is so incorrect and so painful. It's torturous. And they don't deserve it. And you know, they don't deserve it. So share this information with them, watch it with them. Give me a call together. I'm totally cool with that. Because I want people to get this information. I work with individuals, I work with couples, I work with families, I work with groups, there's no limit. I've worked with family members who are there dozens of them.

And the whole family creates a change. You deserve that they deserve that. So share this information. And my request is don't share it with anybody like they're broken, or they need it. Share it with somebody that says look at what I've learned. I thought this was so cool. I thought maybe you'd want to learn it too. Or if you know somebody who they feel not good enough all the time, and they're just like, I wish I could feel better. You're like remember you said the other day you wished you could feel better. I found something. I think it might help you feel better. It helps me feel better. Share it with them. You take care of you. And if you want me to share it with them, let me know I can. And I can do it. And just in the same way I shared it with you. No one's going to feel like they're not good enough. No one's going to feel like they're broken. Because they're not. There might be something going on where they might feel brokenhearted or there might be something going on where their perception is off the day. They are no broke. And neither are you. Alright, bring it in. Oh, by the way. Big squishy hugs. You take care of you. Allow that self forgiveness to just flow from your head into your heart, into your stomach down into your legs, your feet, feeling it wrapped around you.

Notice it's a beautiful color holding you cradling you feel that self forgiveness through all of these steps that you've just practiced. And know that you are loved. You are a beautiful creation. Yeah, on that. All right, my darlings, you take care of you know that your loved. And I will see you next Wednesday. Oh, just so you know, I also meet on clubhouse at 7am. Eastern time just before this each Wednesday. And we read from the Daily Dose of declarations, a book that I'm an author in. And it's a number one bestseller, by the way. And we just got a second best seller. It's daily dose for declaration for business women. So it's specific to business women, this one was more in support of people that we're feeling down and kind of despair and sadness. So number one bestseller, we just happened into it yesterday. And the book will be out, you'll be able to see the link. I'll include it here actually in the comments. And just get your copy feel supported as a business woman. If you're feeling like Well, I'm not a business woman yet, but I want to be share it if you feel like yeah, I'm a guy. Don't worry, we can still use the book together and you can see how it implements into things for you.

And besides, we're going to be when I work with my male clients, we're going to be taking a look at the themes that are moving you that you want to speak into you. So any one of these books that you're using for support, you still want to turn it into what's going to work best for you, your affirmations your words and supports for yourself, cleaning up whatever is going on out there in in the stuff that you're creating or any mistakes that you're having. So you're making it personal to you to any work that you're doing it no matter what your supports are. Take it and make it personal even if you're using the Bible, right. So take the Bible and put your name in it. For God so loved put in your name. Right? Because he taught alright guys, you take care of you. Ciao for now.