The 7 Organizational Tips For a Disorganized Mind Pt. 1

Video Dated: Aug 03, 2022

Three, two and one. We are live. Good morning. Good morning. I hope you are having a beautiful month so far. Happy August and I am here today to go over some new information with you from questions that I've received. And I want to make sure that you get your questions today answered as well. So as you're going through, if you have any questions or any comments, please pop them in there. If you're watching live, you will be able to respond now. And hopefully the information will come up right as I'm doing it.

Sometimes it's delayed. So I apologize. If it is, I will go back and answer those questions. So make sure you put them in there or comments. I will also if you have questions, be able to use those questions to add them to my topic next week. So please make sure you ask any questions, let me know what struggles you might have. Let me know what challenges might be coming up.

Let me know how this is working for you and any additional support you would like for it. I am here for you. That is why I do this work. My name is Tammy workman Lopez or coach Tammy Starr and I help people take a look at how they are practicing hypnosis on themselves how they are practicing mindful training on themselves, how they're using their mind, and they don't even know it. And so I help people to become aware of the techniques that they're doing. And you don't think that you're doing it because you're like, oh, I don't believe in that.

Whether you believe in it or not, it's still what you're doing. It doesn't have to be done to you. It's what you're doing with your mind. It's how your mind works. It's how your subconscious mind works. You have this experience that you go through when you're little you don't even know it.

That's when the brain is developing. And then the mind, the subconscious mind comes up with a rule like, oh, I had this experience. For me to stay safe, I have to do this or I have to think this or the world is this way. We put that in there. It saved in the back, right in the subconscious mind area.

Or think about it as the mind warehouse of all the information that you've kept. And now as you've grown up, you're still using that programming. And you just have no idea except you see the results. And you're like, why am I getting these results? This doesn't make any sense.

I don't. I know I shouldn't feel this way, I know, I shouldn't think this where I know I shouldn't have these results. Why is that coming up? And so I help people to understand this because I myself went through all of this growing up. As a child, I had a lot of abuse. And then as a teenager, I had different kinds of abuse.

And then I ended up in foster care where I began to see, oh, okay, I met judges, I met case managers, I met therapists, I even was assigned my own a therapist because of the trauma that I went through and my mind began to develop. I also in college began to take psychology courses and I began to realize all of what I was going through as a little kid was normal, Right? Little kids sometimes misbehave, little kids sometimes act out little kids, sometimes. That's how they learn.

Maybe it's not even acting out. Maybe it's they were doing it because they wanted to see what would happen. That's the brain wanting to develop. That's not a child going he let me do this. So I can make people miserable. But I thought that's what I was doing. Because that's what I was told by my mom. And so it's important to be able to understand how your mind developed growing up,

What were the things you saw and believed? Because that's what our mind does, our mind thinks that we have to accept what we see around us to stay safe, which in actuality is true. How would a child be let's say you have a family of thieves? How would that one child feel if they were not? How would the family feel about them if they were not? Right?

So the same thing goes, a family who is all about secrets, and a family who is all about abuse and a family who's all about not dealing with emotions and not talking about things and not being emotionally connected? Or how is that child going to grow up, they're going to fit into that so they feel safe, doesn't mean that it was a good kind of safe for them. It doesn't mean that it was what they deserved at all right? That child deserve love and connection and care and nurturing. But because of the way the child grew up, they have these beliefs going on.

And now as an adult, these beliefs are here blocking things. And so what I do is I help people to become aware of what are these subconscious beliefs that they have, that they're trying to move forward and they're like, I can I move forward, but because it think of it like it's like an invisible cloak, right when you put it on, you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there. It's so there. The body who wears that cloak is still a body, and if they're in front of you, they're still going to be right in the way.

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And so that's what this work is about. This work is about helping you to see what is in your way helping it to begin to get some light, and helping it to begin to get some color. So you can actually see what the issue is. Ah, yeah, it's really very cool. And so as you're going through this process, today, we're going to be elaborating on that a bit more, we're going into how we can make the unorganized mind organized. And so one of the things that's really important is as you have awareness, and as you have understanding, you're retraining the mind to understand.

So I want you to think about it like this. Think about that the negative thoughts that you're having are creating damage, right? You might not think about that. But there's this negative chemical that comes up, right? And so if there's negative chemical that comes up and dumps into the body, every time you're having this negative experience like that cortisol, that creates stress.

And you do that over and over and over again, they actually say that the cortisol can kill brain cells. And so without meaning to you can be causing damage in your brain by having this negative experience. So sometimes people now it's just the way, Yeah, but what if you're causing damage not just to your brain itself, but to your memory? Right? They say that this kind of thing can actually help not cause entirely but can help Alzheimer's, dementia. Right? Also, not just that, but it steals away your joy.

It steals away the work you're doing in your relationships and with your family, it creates this experience of feeling not good enough. And so what I do currently, I have a program, it's called Revive Your Relationship (Starting With Yourself). And with this program, I'm actually going to be starting my next group on the 15th. So if this sounds like something you're interested in, by the way, let me know I'm making it very affordable. And it's only four weeks, so timewise, it's also very affordable for you too.

And it's a way to break these patterns, break these change, break these habits. And it works. Because I've actually practiced it my whole life. And I've taken all the information from the personal development that I've learned from my degrees of information that I've learned from the clients that I've worked with, and what's worked and what's not worked, and compiled it into this program for you. And the first four weeks, you might be like, well, that's only four weeks, how was that enough? Well, basically, that's like the starter piece.

And you're going to find that from the very first session, you're going to have information to use, you're going to have tools and blueprints to practice, you're going to be getting results. So it might seem like four weeks isn't a lot, before weeks is a lot. So allow yourself to begin making these changes in your life. And I'm also here each week, like I am today, to bring you these tips and bring you these tools. And these are insider in a way that you again can take these in practice these these same tips and tools I give here to you are the same things, I practice with my clients, the same things that you would be practicing in the group, being able to put them into action.

It's one thing to learn something, it's another to know how to use it. I have this thing that, you know, good advice is great. But I already know what I need to do. I don't know how to get there. I don't know what the steps are to make it happen, right?

Good advice makes me want to choke somebody out. Because it's just a reminder of, I know that I just don't know how. And so it just it's like Okay, so now there's somebody else who's reminding me, I don't know how. And so those things just like raw. So it's important to know that this negative practice that's going on for you, it affects your brain, it affects your digestive system, as it's always stressed and tight and not processing, you might find that you're not even going to the bathroom the way that you need to write, or you're not getting hungry the way that you need to, or you're eating the wrong foods.

Because maybe having caffeine or sugar is what gives you the energy to feel better, because the negative stuff keeps bringing you down. But when you don't have that negative stuff, you don't need the caffeine. You don't need to be eating incorrectly. It's just so much better. And you might find that it also affects your skin, right? Because it's when you have this extra negative anxiety and this extra stress, it literally causes skin issues like psoriasis, it can cause different rashes and things because the body is always in this space of tension, right?

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So you'll see different flare ups in different ways. It can even cause disease throughout the body, like tumors, right? There's just so many different things that are going on. If the digestive system isn't working properly, then you can create digestive disease. There's so many things guys! And so, it's so important even if you're like well,

I'll be fine, right? You might find that it it lowers your immune system. And you're either always feeling exhausted or you're always getting sick. Or you might be like no I never get sick, but I never really feel well. Right so there are so many things that this could impact. You want to keep these things in mind and help yourself to feel better, you deserve to feel better.

Okay, so now to help you feel better, what I've done is I've created these little steps and like I've mentioned to you each time, they're not in a particular order. I just give them to you in an order so you can practice with them, okay? Do you have any questions so far? Do you have a Maria hearts to darlin? Are you noticing, as we're talking that things that you're relating to please put those in the comments and let me know.

Because again, this is for you, I want to make sure that you're getting all the support that you need and that's why I do this work. By the way, there's no other reason because of you. So number one, you want to recognize your negative thoughts. Now I put it, you're gonna see that tomorrow, I'm gonna put out an infographic with this, which you are gonna like it's so cute. And the idea of the infographic, it's got information, and it's a graphic so you can look at it, look at the picture, look at the words, it helps to stimulate the subconscious mind, the subconscious mind gets information by pictures and words and colors, and being able to do repeat. And so as you're looking at it, you'll be able to see it. So you want to recognize the negative thoughts without judgment.

So here's the thing we might go. I realize I'm telling myself, I can't do that. I can't believe I'm doing that. Why would I do that to myself? That's so stupid! Do you notice how I just piled on three and four more negative thoughts? So the idea is just to become aware of the negative thoughts like a scientist, or like, Oh, good, I was doing that.

Now here's the way to do it. I want you to take a piece of paper, fold it in half. And you can go to my website sparks hope hope dot life, forward slash resources. You're going to see number two, where you're working on negative thoughts. It's called trying to remember the exact title. It's like negative thought release, positive thought reinforcer. You're allowing yourself to write down the negative thought and you might go well, they all my thoughts seem to be facts.

So what's negative? If you think it and it has you feel bad? Or has you feel sad? Or has you feel angry, any negative emotion, not bad emotion, negative emotion? Because if you think it's bad, you might struggle with this process. Think about, okay, when I think this, No. I don't feel any better actually feel worse, perfect. That goes on the negative side, on the positive sides. So let's say for example, I'm telling myself, Oh, you're so stupid, I can't believe that you didn't know that information.

Everybody knows that information. So you write down those three negative thoughts. And on the positive side of that? Well, as I was going through this negative thinking, it actually helped me look up what I needed to know. So we became more informed.

Now, you might go, Well, how is that really relative to that? That's not the opposite of that? Well, actually, it ends up being the opposite of that. Because if I say to myself, You know what, I didn't know that because I wasn't informed. And I didn't even know I should be looking it up.

Oh, quiet on that. See how that works. So go through that process. Let me know how it's working for you. I want to make sure that this actually applies for you. Otherwise, what are you here for? So as you're going through that process, let me know what works or doesn't, you can take a screenshot and send it to me. Number two, so what you want to do is imagine that these thoughts and emotions are a guide for you, right?

Now, I just gave you an example, these negative thoughts kind of guided me just stepping into what I needed to find out. And so as we do that process, instead of judging them or pushing them away, or trying to stop them, which is what we everybody does, like don't think positive, positive, positive, positive, well, then we're not listening to what the negative is actually guiding us to do. So think about it as a guide. As you're writing down that negative that helps to remove the judgment on it as well. Okay? And then that's where the positive comes from, what is this guiding you is the blessing out of this?

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And that gives you that, okay, so number three, learn how your negative thoughts are guiding you. Okay, now, when I mentioned that they are guiding you, number three is how are they guiding you? Right? So the how, so for example, what do I need to do? What is this telling me I need? And like I mentioned to you, in this case, this this one, these negative thoughts?

Were telling you, okay, I need to go look up information. So I could find out what I need the skill, what's the skill I need? And it helps you to be able to step into the how, step into the actions, what are the actions I need to take, so that this negative thought isn't there anymore. And it gives you that space of growing and developing and feeling really good about yourself, and you deserve that, right? You deserve to feel better. You deserve to feel like these things if these things were here this is how would your life be, you might be like, Wow, I'd be calmer! 

I feel more confident I'd be able to have the relationship that I want, I would move out of conflict, I would, the stress in my body would feel better, I'd sleep better, I'd eat better. All of that stuff changes. So you deserve that. That's what a body is here for to experience life in a good way. Okay, so number four, develop self awareness and mindfulness. Now, like I said, Good Advice is great.

But if you don't even know what the heck that even means, how is that going to help you? So what does that mean? Develop self awareness. So for example, you might not know exactly what you're thinking, but you could say, you know, what, I feel this tension in my throat. What is that tension about?

Well, there's some stuff I want to say, and I didn't say, or is person's really upsetting me, or I'm really upset about this situation. So it's being able to check in what's your body telling you, when you have these thoughts, being able to check in and see that these thoughts create this experience in your body. And they will guide you, as you're doing that you break it down, you become aware, and as you're breaking it down, you can break up those pieces. And like, like I mentioned, this is not an order. So you might go, Well, maybe self awareness should be first, then you're right, right?

Self awareness is part of recognizing negative thoughts. So they work within each other and you might actually have gone through some of the process. And then there's a new awareness that comes up. So you'll be reusing these, as you're going through the process. Number five, you want to develop a resistance to criticism.

Now easier said than done, right? The way to do that is to allow yourself to uplift to you want to practice self uplifting, self support, self care. So if somebody is criticizing, we always talk about oh, we those haters out there. We don't want to be so much motivated to prove ourselves against the haters, right? That's actually being negatively driven.

You want to be out there making a difference, because you want to make a difference, because that's who you are. Because you're awesome and you're a world changer, not because of what somebody else said. Now, it may motivate you, that's cool. There's nothing wrong with that. Any motivation, moving us forward to what we want, is helpful.

But if I want to be able to allow myself to practice, I want to motivate because I want to motivate, I want to move forward, because I want to move forward, I want to create this change, because I want to create this change. And I want to see the results it's going to be for myself, and my life and my family and my finances, and my community and my clients, you feel how powerful that is, there doesn't have to be a negative drove negative driver in there a driver. So as you're going through that process, it moves you more into practicing the habit, rich habits become automatic of motivation, because you want it motivation because you deserve it. Motivation because the world deserves it motivation because your clients, their children, their grandchildren deserve it. And I feel so much better.

Now, there are these folks who are in the space of criticism, allowing yourself to realize that they are there because of their stuff, right? Most people criticize in a negative form, because of some inadequacy that they have putting judgment on you. So you want to take a look at it, somebody's putting that judgment on me. They're also putting that judgment on themselves and being judgmental to themselves in that form. Gosh, that's a hurtful way to live.

That's a hurtful way that you can't ever get away from the person talking to you like that. And imagine they can't get away from the person talking to them like that, because that's when we have that awareness and that empathy, not empathy, like, okay, oh, I need to relate to them. And, you know, I understand because I do that, too. That's a good kind of empathy.

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It's understandable. But this kind of empathy helps you set boundaries, a one that says, Okay, I get where that's coming from totally. And that's not okay. And we don't do that and you don't treat me that way. And I don't treat you that way.

And let's start over, right? So it's not an empathy that says, all is well, I understand. It's okay. That's actually allowing that person to continue that, right, that actually moves from empathy to enabling. So we want to shift the enabling piece out of there. You can have the empathy and then set the boundaries.

And that's super, super, super essential and important for you. Also, in the program that I am going to be doing for the four weeks is practicing setting boundaries without sounding like a douchebag, right? It's like a lot of times people say well, I don't want to set boundaries. I don't want to sound mean I don't want to sound like a jerk. I don't want to you know, make anybody feel bad.

And that's what people think boundaries are attacking other people, or putting down other people, or being angry, hostile, aggressive with other people. It doesn't mean that at all. It means Hey, that's not okay. We're not doing that. That's it. That's all it needs to sound like, right? And I have a process that actually goes through that with you.

So you can practice it. Tell me how this is sounding for you tell me what you're thinking about. Tell me how you can begin implementing this moving forward. Share that, let me know and I'm going to be reading your comments. So you can also personal message me, if you feel like you're more shy?

Definitely personal message, it doesn't have to be in the comments if you don't want to. Okay, so remember, if somebody's criticizing you, how do they criticize themselves like that? What must that be like to live in that mind and that body in that experience, never getting out. And it just shifts everything.

The other thing is as you're uplifting yourself, like, I'm only going to listen to the advice of somebody that's moving me forward. I don't really care about that negative thought anyway. And here's an interesting thing. A lot of the haters, sometimes you don't even care about, some of them, you do. But others, you didn't care about them before they appeared in your world, and you don't care about them, when they go away, they're just a passing voice.

So notice the weight of something you might give that has no weight at all. And that's just a practice that you get to unpracticed, right? That's something that you just learned about some self programming, some self hypnosis along the way, like this negative stuff, I have to listen to this negative stuff. Because, you know, I need to make sure I protect myself from it. You know, you just need to stay away from it.

And you can protect yourself from it by setting boundaries. So the way we think we have to protect ourselves from it is think about it, think about it, think about replay Replay, replay. And that's actually rehearsing yourself, it's using the voice of somebody the face of somebody, but they're not there, it's you doing to you at that point. And people don't know that they're not aware of that. So this is really helpful information, I want you to use this juicy information, practice it in your life now, okay?

So you'll see that it's a thought journal. Now, I'm not a journalist. So I'm not saying you know, journal your life away, I'm just saying, Have a little notebook that you're writing stuff down, it could be, you know, something as simple as these little. What are these little guys, that symbol, or it could be one of those smaller cuter ones. So whatever it is that you like, it's getting it out of your head, right?

Because we think that all of our information is housed right here. And we could just pull it all up. Your conscious think about it, like I think about like the front and the back. That's not how it is, but are the top or the bottom, there's the conscious mind. And then, like I mentioned, there's a subconscious mind, think about the subconscious mind as your warehouse of information. That's where it's all stored. And you pull up information to the conscious to look at it.

Now, your conscious mind can only hold about seven to nine units of information. And so if it's only seven, so think about only seven in the front, do you think about one thing, there's usually seven to 10 to 15 pieces that come up, are coming with it. So if I think about doing this live with you guys, I think about okay, I need to have my points that I have for the infographic for you, I need to have my thoughts together about what I want to talk about. I need to make sure Facebook is working, I need to make sure Zoom is working, which I'm not even connected to zoom today. I need to make sure that I'm checking the Facebook for your questions.

I am wondering, you know who is going to pop on and who is this going to be for? We're just wondering all these different things. And so as I'm going through that process, you heard how many that was right. And that's not even counting the nervousness I feel going live or the questioning that I do because Facebook doesn't allow people to pop up as quickly and yada, yada, yada, yada.

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There's so many things that pop up in our thinking it's normal. So now fortunately, I don't need much of that. So I just focus on the thing that I need to focus on. But oftentimes, we need those thoughts that are coming up, like I need to remember this, I need to remember that I need to remember this, I need to remember that. When I first started this, I had to write that stuff down. Because I needed to think about all the stuff I had to do. I've been practicing this now for some time.

So now I don't need to think about the same way. A lot of it's automatic. So it allows and also by the way, there's the emotion of is this gonna work, right? Is the Zoom gonna work is the Facebook going to work? So when that comes up, that's extra motion and thoughts. To writing it down, gets it out of your head gives you this clean canvas, so you can create on it.

And you're just like, okay, yeah, oh, wait, there's this bunch of thoughts. Let me write that down. Okay, those are there. All right, creating, it's just like a good, you know, get a new color, like that. So everything's clear. So you're creating from this clear space, and that's why it's important. Have a journal to write it down. Now, if you have pieces of paper, staple them together, so that way, you still have a way to find it easily.

So however you want to do it is however you want to do it. And then lastly, it's important, and this is why I had you do that positive, negative on the left and positive on the right sheet, going back and taking a look at it. And that's what this last piece is reviewing your thoughts to be able to reframe them, and help yourself to go. Okay? so these, this is what I see is actually making things more difficult. These, this is actually helping me move forward.

So I'm going to practice this instead. So as you're looking at this, what I'd like for you to do is imagine that, as you're looking at these thoughts, these are the thoughts of a friend. And when your friend is having these thoughts, what would you tell that friend? So if your friend was saying, oh, gosh, I'm so stupid, I should have known that. I can't believe I didn't know that. Other people around me know that why?

That should be common sense, if you're supporting that friend, you would say to them, Hey, stop judging yourself. That's not effective. You're making yourself all stressed out. whoa. Take a deep breath. Okay, so are you glad you got the information? Yeah, I'm totally glad I got the information.

Good. Does everybody know everything right away? No, they have to learn it at some point. Yeah? Okay. So this was that point you learned it? Well, yeah, that's true. You're right. And how about you agree to not criticize yourself or hurt yourself with things you don't know. Instead, support yourself and acknowledge yourself for new information you have. And now you can have that common sense information.

Even though we think common sense means everybody's supposed to know everything. How is that possible? And so you just supported your friend to shift their thinking, and their off of that, and making themselves a victim and making themselves out to be a bad person to going oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, that's right. And then apply that to you.

And that helps you to see those negative thoughts in a new way, without judgment, just matter of fact. I don't need to put my attention there. So there's no resistance, there's nothing you have to stop. Because instead you put your focus on, I want to create the life that I love, I want to create, speaking kindly to myself, I want to create, understanding that if I didn't know something up until now, that just means this is my new date that I know something new. And it just helps you go through that process helps you make those changes.

So I do hope that these seven tips have helped you because as you're looking through this, and understanding, it clears out your mind. It clears out those emotions, it clears out the judgment and clears out that conflict. And it helps you to be able to say what you need, it helps you be able to move through the process without all that backup, and that resistance in the way without all the obstacles that are blocking you. Now, I've been doing this work for many years now.

And like I mentioned to you, even before I was doing it as a coach, I've been doing it in so many ways with various clients and at risk populations. And then I was doing it for myself this whole time. I've always done personal development work, my husband always makes fun. Because when I do the personal development work, it's at different hotels. And when he and I met, I was like, oh, and I did a training there. Anytime we pass by a hotel I was at before. Oh, I did a training over there. And then of course I do some trainings too. So then there's Oh, I did a training over there. So every time we pass a hotel, he's like, Did you do a training over there? What about over there?

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He's a stinker. But I love it. It's great. It's stinker in a positive way. So it allows you to be able to go through this process as you're getting this new information that I'm sharing with you and practice it, right? As we do this stuff on our own. It's like we don't have anybody looking in and going Hey, did you notice you did that? Did you notice you said that?

Did you? What has you thinking that how's your body feeling there? You know, and there's different activities and different visualizations and different things that we practice. And just like I just did with you, I shared with you different visualizations and different examples and different stories to get your mind to understand that, again, is how the subconscious mind learns.

So if you as you're going through these, you're like I practiced or I try to call me, right? maybe going through this four week program is exactly what you need. So you can start practicing this stuff yourself. So you can start seeing these things. And by the way, it's recorded to be able to practice it again. Confirmation, even after we're done, you can also then do the same things. So you can take those recordings and watch it again and practice it again.

Right, you're also going to get blueprints, step by step of how to do it. And we're working together as you do it. So it gives you that opportunity to practice and see what's working that we like and what's not working. We've often have been taught that if it's not working, then it's bad. We want to look at what's not working, it's actually very, very good, because it guides us in knowing what you need.

So please do let me know if you're interested in the Revive Your Relationship four week program, it's going to be starting on the 15th. But you want to get started now and get registered. Because there's a process to be able to do that to get the the initial pricing that you want the initial discount the 297, before it goes up. So get registered now, and then you'll be ready. And we can talk and get everything set up and get your intake, get your information, get you the first set of blueprints.

So you can begin practicing in your life and you'll find that not only does it help the relationship that you're in, it helps the relationship with yourself, it helps other relationships you want to get into whether it's with your business, whether it's personal, you'll be able to see that it starts to make those changes almost immediately. And I say almost immediately, because you'll have the information, you must you will be practicing it. And so you might see that's quite not working. And then I'll give you new tips and new tools to try a different way. And then when you try it out, you're like that way worked, right.

And so it helps your mind helps your body helps your experience. So please do let me know how this has worked for you. Please do share this, invite people into the group. This is a private group. So that way people who have this same experience, have the same anxiety have this same stress, have the same negative thinking and conflict in their relationships. And they can come into here and feel safe.

And they can come into here and get the information that they want to get and ask questions and know that everyone else around them understands. So invite them to the group, share the video, get them this information. And if they want the video and they are not interested in being in the group, that's fine. Just let me know. And I can get it to them. Okay. All right, you guys. You take care of you know that your loved know that you're appreciated.

And I'm totally stoked about this group that you're going to be hearing more about today at one o'clock, I'm going to be giving all the details and going over everything. So please do if you want to join me then you can just get the information out guys. There is no man that needs to get left behind in their space of negative thinking in that space of being stuck in tension and anxiety and worry. And I keep not having the way it needs to be in my relationship. I keep feeling stuck in my business.

I keep feeling like I'm not good enough or I have to be perfect. Ah, they don't need to be stuck in that we have the answers for them. It's our job to let them know. It's our job to help them out of that nightmare. So invite them get them here. We'll get them into the program. Maybe even with you together. You take care of you big squishy hugs bring it in all right you guys Ciao for now. Bye