10 Ways to Overcome Perfectionism

Video Dated: June 23, 2022

0:16  
Good morning, Good morning, Good morning! All right. So I hope you're having a wonderful week and taking care of yourself. My name is Tammy workman Lopez, my company is sparkshope.life. And I am here to bring you tools and tips and support. So you are feeling good, you are getting things out of your life and you are feeling freedom from negative thinking. And so one of the ways that we're going to be doing that I've had a lot of my clients and even some folks asking me questions about feeling not good enough.

And a big part of that shows up in perfectionism. And so today, we're going to be talking about 10 ways that you can use right now, even today, to help yourself step out of perfectionism. Now, is there a positive to perfectionism? Yeah, right. The idea of I wanted to go well, I wanted to look really good, I wanted to have a certain mood and, but when perfectionism goes to, it's got to be perfect. And if it's not perfect, I'm just not perfect, and things are going to be good enough, and it's not going to go right and, and then we might find ourselves feeling paralyzed.

1:33  
And we might feel ourselves feeling so stressed out, we might find ourselves feeling so kind of sick to our stomach, or this pit of anxiousness in our stomach, or maybe even just, you know what, it's too much, I'm just gonna go do something else. Right? Or then the comparison started, oh, my gosh, look at how they're doing it or look at how they've done it or look at this or look at that. And it's got to be just like that. Or if it's not just like that, or I don't know how to do it just like that. And do you feel that build up?

1:47  
That literally happens. And so today, that's what we're going to be talking about how that could get in your way. And the reason it's happening is because there's a part of you that just wants it to be right, you just want it to go well. But that flows into an illness, right? Because you feel dis eased about it. There's not this calm, or this, I've got this going on, it's more like, oh my gosh, it needs to be like this.

And it's got to be like that. And it can't be like this, and it can't be like that. And it's just so stressful for you. It's just too much. And then it ends up having you show up that way in your life, it ends up having your body feel that way, it ends up being too much possibly for your relationships. And it just leaves you feeling like you're not good enough, it leaves you feeling like

2:41  
if not this, then I'm not that, right. And so it's it's unfortunate, because you're doing something that could be so great. And yet it becomes something so negative and can actually harm you. And so this today is to help you cut that out, right? Cut it out.

3:00  
And it really helps you to be at peace to calm your mind, calm your body. And that's what my goal is here today. My goal is not to help you to not be perfect. My goal is to help you to realize you are already perfectly you. And you can be calm, you can do these things because it feels good because you want it because it's something that's been put in your heart to strive for it, not because you feel like if you don't do it a particular way, you're just a failure. And so I've got these 10 points, and they're not in any particular order. But they are important for you.

So number one, you want to pay attention to what is the story that you've got going on, right? So there's a particular story that you have or rules that you have, and you might call them your perfectionistic rules. And so taking a look at what are those rules that you have? What are those perfectionistic rules that it has to be this way. And so when you're able to catch that, you're able to take a look at what's going on for me. And here's the cool thing, guys, you have had it that these rules are the truth. There is no other way. But who made up the rules? Who can change the rules.

4:23  
These are subconscious things that you created a long time ago. Now you have the conscious rule about it, but you might not know why it's going on. You might not realize it's based off of maybe rejection, fear of rejection, fear of success, fear of, I'm not good enough. So I've got to do it just like this. It's got to be perfect. And that will then prove I'm good enough, or I'm not happy. And if I do it that way, I'll be happy. I'm not successful.

5:00  
But if I do it that way, that's when I'll feel successful. That's when I'll feel enough. So there may be likely probably definitely things under the knee that's running the show that had you create these rules in the first place. And we start those, when we're little, we just don't know, that's just the way the brain is programmed, the brain is programmed to create certain ways to be able to feel safe. And those are the rules that you created.

So as you're becoming aware of the rules, my request is that you do this without judgment, without shame, without anger, without any negative emotion, just writing it down, like a scientist that goes, Oh, that's the rule I made up. That's what I was thinking. That's why I have that rule, I remember having that rule in high school, middle school, elementary school, I remember my parents had that rule or a number, my teachers had that rule, it's just more of becoming aware of what you're doing how you're doing it, it just gives you room to be. 

5:49  
Oh, look at that when you become aware of something, that's when you can start to change it when you're in resistance to it, and oh, my gosh, I can't believe I did it like that, then we're not able to make that change, because we're still stuck in that space of judgment. So number two, you want to take a look at what's the emotion that's coming up about it, okay. And the reason being is, if we're in a space of emotional resistance about it, then we're not going to be able to make the change because the emotion around it is too high. So for example, if you're upset about something you can't really think it through as well. You can't process it. So it lets you get to a neutral space, once you understand what the emotion is, and what the emotion needs. So for example, if I'm feeling angry, I feel like it's unfair and unjust that I've been doing it like this or thinking like this, or that I'm stuck this way.

6:42  
So we want to bring boundaries, we want to set up boundaries with ourselves, how we're doing things, how we're thinking about things being able to make that change. And so some of this stuff, it's going to take a bit more than just these 10 things I'm going over with you. So give yourself a break. If you're like I there's more to that there is that's okay, start here. Start with this practice, breaking it down, helping yourself become aware, checking out the emotions, you'll see what the emotions need. And I have other recordings on that too. So you don't even have to work with me directly. If you don't want to initially, you can look that up, it could help.

7:18  
Okay, as you're doing that, what you're doing is number three, you're giving yourself room for mistakes. Now, you might have a belief or a rule that says no mistakes aren't okay, mistakes will get you in trouble, mistakes, deserve punishment, mistakes, whatever that is noticed, that's a rule too. And you can change that rule, you're, you're the you're the game maker, you get to make these rules, and you get to change these rules, you're the creator of your life. So allow yourself to go, okay, so if mistakes are just to learn from, and I'm learning from this now, then I can do this differently, Whoa, it's still going to be different.

8:01  
It gives you that space to breathe again, to feel calm about yourself to feel confident about yourself to realize you were doing all this stuff for a reason, it just maybe wasn't the most sensible reason because you were doing it from the perspective of a little kid. And little kids are not all that sensible. I'm sure you know that if you've met some very interesting, but sensible is not always going to be coming from them.

8:22  
And so number four, what you want to do then is take a look at what's the new rule, right? So what can be the new rule that I make out of this. And so the idea as you're doing that, is you're letting yourself take a look at, okay, so if I was the creator of this, and this is what I wanted to create out of this, it still might be the same goal. I still do want to create that. But instead of wanting to create it out of I'm not good enough, and I can never get there. And I've got to be perfect. The new goal is what do I want to create, I want to create, fill in the blank. I want to create a successful business. I want to earn $150,000 a year.

9:08  
I want to have more clients that are more fitted for what I want to do I want to create clients that are value my worth, I want to create a relationship that values my worth, I want to create a relationship with myself where I value my worth. And in that relationship, I'm really owning who I am. And in that relationship, I'm feeling really successful. And in that relationship as that successful person, these are the steps I'm taking.

9:33  
And so jot that down. That helps you to get more clear on being able to see what's the new rule, what's the new creation. And so you might say well, but it's not new. It's the same thing. I've wanted the same thing the whole time. You're coming from a new place. So it's going to feel like a new creation. It's just just going to be as you think about it with me you probably feel it different now. Like wow, coming from that place of creation.

10:08  
If you feel so much lighter, it feels so much wiser it feels like I'm already there. You're standing in already being there. Right? That's awesome. Okay. So what you're going to be noticing is you're lowering the pressure on yourself, right? So that's number five. When you're doing that, it's giving you that permission to be like, Okay, if I don't have to have this level of pressure on myself, then I can breathe, my blood, literally, your blood pressure will go down.

10:34  
So noticing the expectations you have on yourself will change the pressure that you have, if you have it, it has to be perfect. It has to look like this, it has to look like that. Answer me this, have you ever done an event, a birthday party, a dinner, and you thought it had to be all these certain ways. And then once it was done, there were the certain things that didn't happen, but nobody knew any better, because they didn't know what all the expectations were that you had on yourself. Instead, they really enjoyed themselves, they thought it was perfect.

So notice, the expectations you have on yourself can be malleable, you can work with them, you can have a certain level of it's gotta be like this, I want to create this experience. But if these things change a little bit, that's okay. I'm the only one that needs to know if it's shifting and moving. And I can work with those things. So you're taking the pressure, literally, you're lowering your blood pressure, you're lowering the pressure of it has to be a particular way. Instead shoot for excellence.

I want excellence, I want the mood to feel like this. I want the experience to have this, this, this and this. And so let's say if you wanted to have oysters, but instead of just as shrimp and lobster, okay? Nobody knows the difference.

11:52  
So you can give yourself the experience of excellence and excellence could be even different. Let's say it's just going to be children, and they don't want that kind of stuff. They just want ravioli cheese and chicken nuggets or something like that. But instead of ravioli is it's going to be you know, something a little bit on the I can't think of a thing but something else.

12:08  
And they love it just the same. So instead of Oh, it wasn't this, and I can't believe it wasn't this and out of this mess up and I can't know it's okay. I can be flexible. And I can still have the same result I wanted, which is that pressure being removed. Right? Okay, perfect. So now we're moving into six, six is allowing yourself to take a look at what are some of the things that you believe it has to be.

12:40  
So when you're doing that, you're helping yourself see the definition. Okay, so I don't think I'm being perfect, I don't think it has to be perfect. But it has to have this it has to have that and have says that. So then you are actually stepping into it has to be a certain way. So you might not use the word perfect.

But you might have it has to be like this. So look at where you're telling yourself, it has to be and see if there's room to move. Right? And so when you're doing that you're giving yourself permission to see what is it that I am deciding it has to be, right. And so you might say, well, it's not perfect, it's something else, I don't ever worry about it. So then take a look and see well. What else that there's something going on that you have it, that there's this pressure on yourself that maybe it's having you not move forward.

13:29  
Or maybe it's having you think that you're not good enough no matter what you do. Or maybe it's having you I have to learn, I have to learn, I have to learn, I have to learn, I have to learn and not take action. Or maybe you're taking action. But no matter what you never feel like you're good enough.

13:47  
My dears that is stuck in a level of perfectionism, you might just be using a different word. So take a look, if it's a different word for you, that's fine look and see what the definition and the word is for you. And fill in the blanks. My level of it has to be means this right? And we can do that in relationships. They have to think the way I think they have to be involved in things I'm involved in, they have to want to work in my business, they have to have blue eyes, or they have to be seven feet tall, or that's a little tall.

14:25  
But for some people, they have it that way. Because I have to wear you know this amount of heels and they still need to have to be taller than me. Right? So sometimes you might have some stuff that's actually in our way. Or we might find no no, no, that one has to be okay. But are there other things that are making it to where you're not going to ever get what you want?

14:53  
Because no matter what you change the bar, if you have it that perfect is this bar that never stops moving. And you can't be successful until you reach that perfect. You're never going to get there and that's going to lead you and fill you with so much pain for the rest of your life. And you don't just
serve that at all. So share with me how any of these things that you're hearing so far are hitting home, how it's relating to you, where it's making sense, what questions you have.

15:12  
I base these off of the questions that you have, because I want it to be very individualized for you. So let me know any questions. And those of you who are watching the replay, you can come back, hashtag replay, and let me know what questions you have, I'll still take a look at them and address them. And I'll still be able to add them into my next live session. If there are questions that really need some additional support, I'll make sure to do that for you.

15:41  
All right! So number seven, really, this one's a big deal, right? Because if you are telling yourself that you are a particular kind of person, but you're not taking action, you're out of alignment.

15:55  
And so the problem is, is if you are telling yourself, you know, I'm somebody who gets stuff done, I'm somebody who keeps to my word, but you're avoiding, and you're putting it off and you're procrastinating, then you're lying to yourself, because I can't say that I'm somebody who does it. And I'm somebody who makes it happen. And I'm sitting here afraid and not making it happen.

16:18  
And so it's important that you will allow yourself to take action, the number one thing that changes a habit is taking action about that habit. So if your subconscious mind has it that you were not taking action, because you're too afraid, and nothing's going to hurt you, it's going to keep doing that. But if instead you say to yourself, oh, this is definitely something that I need to do, it's safe, I'm going to do it and you immediately do it in in thought, like in the midst of that thought you get up and do it.

16:55  
You are training your subconscious mind, that's not a scary thing, I can get up and do it, I don't need to sit and think about it. That one's essential guys. And there's a lot of stuff that can be in the way of being able to do that. And that is why I do this work, I help people remove the subconscious blocks that they've got going on. So they can create the health that they want in their body, they can create the healthy relationships that they want setting boundaries, speaking up for themselves, feeling adequate feeling heard, and knowing how to listen to their partner, as well as being able to remove the blocks that may be in their way, in the same ways in their business. Being able to listen to their clients differently, know what they need differently, see what's in the way.

17:47  
So they're feeling heard in every aspect of their life. Because this doesn't just change one area, this changes you it changes what's going on for you. And you are your life you are your relationships, you are your career, your business, right. All right, cool beans, Cool beans.

17:58  
Alright, so number eight, what you want to do is take a look at you also not only have these beliefs about procrastination, these beliefs about you know, it has to be a certain way these beliefs about perfectionism, but you also have negative beliefs about yourself. Right? And they may sound like I can't do it underneath. It might be like, Yes, I can. Yes, I can. But underneath that is, I'm afraid I can't. Underneath that, as I am totally afraid I'm going to fail. Underneath that is, you know, people are giving me a hard time.

18:29  
Underneath that is this negative, negative motivation, negative thinking negative friends. So it's important to remove that negative remove the negative energy from your life. So you've got to remove that negative energy, whether it's people, whether it's your own thinking, whether it's your environment, whether it's clutter in your thinking clutter in your mind, clutter in your computer, that negative energy, right, the negative influences around you are also going to keep you in that negative energy within your mind and your actions.

You need that positive support, whether it's positive coaching, whether it's positive reading, whether it's positive decluttering from your mind or your environment, whether it's positive in getting more positive friends and spending less time with negative friends, and people who are involved in doing the same things that you're doing or something like minded. Whether it's getting out into nature, whether it's creating more recreation in your life, me you need you need you need that positive.

19:34  
And think about it like a frequency Think about it like an energy as an energy being your energy things you're around can bring your energy down or brings your energy up. The foods you eat can bring your energy down, make you tired and feel lethargic or they can have you feel energized. Right. So if I'm eating something with a lot of vitamin D in it, or taking supplements with my bees, I feel so energized, oh my gosh. Right. But if I'm eating lots of pastas and heavy carbs, I'm going to be like, Well, I'm so tired. Turkey.

20:11  
A little bit Turkey actually doesn't do that. But a lot of it a turkey does, right sugars. So you can actually feel those things. And we might think, Oh, well, that's not a frequency it is, it's the frequency of what's in those foods that lifts us up or takes us down.

20:24  
So allowing yourself to pay attention to what we're putting into our body, whether it's our food, whether it's our drink, whether it's our friends, whether it's the stuff we watch on TV, whether it's what we're telling ourselves, we can or cannot do, all of that stuff makes a huge difference.

20:41  
Okay, number nine, what you want to be able to do is allow yourself to take a look at we are not meant to do these things alone, period. We're just not. We were not born alone, right? You didn't just pop out of a Petri dish. Even if the doctors helped us to be born, we still had to have the egg and the sperm. We didn't just appear.

21:04  
You are part of others, others are part of you. So when you're going through this learning from other people who have done it, or have done things like it, so for example, I have coaches who helped me now they may not be doing the same business I'm doing but they know about business, or they know about the things that I'm feeling blocked with. So it helps to make that change, as we're helping ourselves connect with other people. And that is why I do this work. I didn't get here by myself.

I have had years of education. I have had years of personal development. I have had years of coaching, I have had years of mentoring I have had you name it right.

21:49  
I'm 45 I have had years filled from age from the beginning of my lifetime, before I was born, because I was getting information from my mother's womb. Right? And for people who believe that we're we have a spiritual existence. Who knows what I was learning even before that, right? I don't know that part. I wasn't there. So I can't say yes or no. But I do know from from understanding, from the moment of conception,

22:12  
I was getting DNA and DNA from mom and dad, I was getting information from mom and dad, and from their DNA and their history lines, right? It decided my eye color, my hair color decided my size, it decided my sex, that stuff is affecting us.

22:28  
The way we're raised affects us, helps us to learn our, our, what we're going to speak what language we're going to speak, how we're going to dress the way we're going to think what culture is going to look like, our name. All of that stuff is things that we're learning, we learn how to eat, we learned how to walk. Somewhere along the line, we were told we're supposed to be I am a rock, I am an island, not.

23:01  
We are not supposed to be that we're taught to be that we're taught that we're supposed to isolate and do everything on our own. I don't know why. But it's not healthy. We are interdependent beings. We work with each other, we support each other, our clients support us, we support our clients, right?

23:11  
It's a symbiotic relationship in every direction. So know that it's allowed for you to be able to get coaching, get support, get mentoring, when I'm working with my clients, I am their coach, I am their mentor, I have done the same processes that I'm helping them with in most cases and and other things that they haven't done. So say for example, if I'm teaching somebody how to break the blocks to do something I've never done, I know how to break the blocks. They know how to do what they're going to be doing. And so I'm just helping them to do that.

We're taking action on what their next steps are, I'm helping them to remove the blocks, I'm helping them to retrain their thinking, I'm helping them to remove the negative thinking and step into the positive thinking. I'm helping them to understand what's going on on a subconscious level. So they can work with that subconscious level and change it on purpose. I am helping them to be able to change into their health and into their relationships and into their business. And so I'm able to help them in every way. And they're taking the steps and the things that they know.

24:51  
​I don't need to know those things. They know those things. So it's important that you're able to see even for your life, you can help others to do things that you know how to do as well don't think you have to be perfect and know everything. Because my friends you do not you do not right now, number 10. Number 10 is to allow yourself room to grow Right?

If you do not allow yourself room to grow, you're going to get stagnant and room to grow doesn't mean that you need a a new program and a new training and a new this and a new that it doesn't mean you even have to work with me. If you're getting the information I'm sharing with you, then you've got it.

25:13  
But allow yourself to grow in what it is that you need. So for example, I took training after training after training after training after training after training. But there were some things I didn't want to do. And I came to the realize I'm not gonna do that, I'm not going to go out and be a salesperson, not gonna go out and be a car salesman, I'm not gonna go out and sell products. I'm just not. But if I'm talking to somebody who I see that they could use the products that I sell, I'll totally share it with them.

25:44  
So I'm just not a cold marketer, right? Cold sales, that's just not really me. It needs to be somebody that I know. And so I, I just have learned me. But I didn't, I wanted to make myself be something I wasn't because I saw other people doing it. And I'm like, Oh, that looks so easy. Well, for my personality, it was not. And that's okay. And so I've learned other techniques on how to be more of a warm, a warm connection, right? A warm marketing, kind of aspect, getting the information out. So people who are interested, come to me.

26:22  
And so that makes it so much better. And that fits my personality. And so it's important to allow yourself to grow in the right way, that's a fit for you. Stop trying to make yourself fit into a peg that you don't belong in. Let yourself do you26:43  give yourself permission to grow in the way that fits you. That is essential. Stop making yourself try to do something that you don't need to be doing. Now, here's an exception.

26:59  
Let's say there's stuff that you have to do that you can't afford to delegate out to somebody else yet. Okay? Then you've got to force yourself to do something you don't like to do kind of like a kid who's got to go to school, they don't want to go to school, but you know, they've got to go.

27:12  
So if there's something that you do have to learn, so for example, right now, I'm in a coaching program called clients and community, and I am learning how to use my Facebook group. And those of you who are in my Facebook group, yep, that's, you're gonna be learning more about it. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. But that was my old story.

27:36  
That was my old rule, I don't want to do it, because they don't know how and it's got to be perfect. And I just don't want to be perfect at it. Until finally, I made up a new rule that says, You know what, I don't have to be perfect at it. And I'm going to try this out and figure it out, and learn how to have a new avenue of income, that helps me to bring people that are interested. So I'm not having to go out there and sell to people I'm not interested in.

So I was able to grow and learn in a way that fit me. Because I changed the rule. The rule was I hate it, I don't want to do it. But I changed the rule that said you know what, maybe I don't have to hate it, maybe I can like it. And maybe it can fit me.

And so now that I'm in this course of something that in the past, I would have hated. I realized that rule was just blocking me from being able to grow, being able to learn this new thing. So notice if there's something that you really, really need to do for yourself, but you're hating it, you're not giving yourself permission to grow in it. And so there's some belief that needs to be changed there. So then the next step could be to help you to grow.

28:52  
Because now the rule is not so resistant. Oh, okay, so I can learn this. I'm not, I'm not bad at it. I just am not good at it yet, because I haven't learned anything about it. It gives you a new space to grow. Sense. Okay, so I'm going to review over these, you're going to become aware of the rules that you're making. And that's funny, because we kind of ended with summarizing that. Number two, you're going to be focusing on what's the emotions that are coming up because of these beliefs that you have going on. And then what's needed.

29:12  
Number three, you're going to be allowing yourself to make mistakes, you're giving yourself permission to realize these mistakes are helping you grow. They don't mean you're a failure. They don't mean that you're bad. Number four, you're going to be able to lower the pressure on yourself by taking a look at these expectations that you have, and allowing yourself to be more flexible with them. Right, number six, you're focusing on what is your meaning of perfection.

You might not even be using the word. You might have it like I don't think it's got to be perfect. It's just got to be like this. It's got to be like this. And it's got to be like that. And I've got to be like this. You could just see it's it's not the word perfect, but it's got to be like this meaning it has to be a certain way. It's got to be perfect. So you might just have it that it's not that word. It's a day

30:00  
Four words. So it's got to be this certain way. So see what your word is, and what the meaning of that is, what is the way it's got to be. So you're taking a look at being able to shift that pressure as you're doing that as well. So each of these kind of work off each other, by the way. Okay, so number seven, you're allowing yourself to be able to  take a look at.

30:27  
So for example, you're going through this process and you think, what's the action I need to take? And as you're looking at that action, instead of procrastinating it, you're jumping into it. So the moment you start to think about you have to think about it, I've got it note, and then I'll get up and do it. Right. Now, if you need to write down a couple steps to keep yourself focused, I have to do that because my focus gets lost. That's okay. Jot it down and go or jot down the first one and start doing so that way, you're moving forward, you're making it happen. You're feeling good about it. Okay.

31:02  
All right. So number number nine, you're allowing yourself to cut out the negative influences. Right? So negative influences include you negative influences, clued the people around you negative influences include your environment. So allowing yourself to take a look at how am I being negative to myself? How am I putting myself down? Or how am I telling myself I can't? Or how am I look at that negative stuff? It's okay. If you feel like it's too heavy, don't you don't have to do it alone. Right? And I'll explain that to you in just a second. Oh, wait, this was number eight. Number nine. Sorry about that.

31:38  
Number nine is allowing yourself to get support. You're not having to do this stuff by yourself. It's heavy, you've been trying to undo this your whole life. If you've been trying to under this your whole life, than just realize you can't do it by yourself. I could not do this by myself. I did not get to this place that I'm at now by myself.

I had many therapists that helped me I had, I was in foster care. So I had judges and foster parents and guardian ad litem is a different people in different mentors that guided me to learn things. Then from there, I had all of my professors through education, I had all the personal development trainers that I've been learning from I've had all the coaches and the mentors and different people that I have paid to be my supports, right, and the continuing education that I've gotten.

So even though we might think we're an island, we are not. So change that rule, guys, it's just an incorrect rule, change it to knowing that we are a world of people that work together, even you working with your clients. We are not doing this stuff alone, guys. Okay. And so number 10, is allowing yourself to grow.

32:44  
In that room of allowing yourself to grow is giving yourself permission to grow in what's best for you. Don't make yourself do stuff that's not fit for you. If there is something that you have to do, shift your thinking about, shift your thinking about why is it you want it, how is it you can help yourself want to do this. So there's no resistance because if you make yourself do something you don't want to do, the learning is going to be limited.

The desire to actually follow through with it is going to be hard. And there's more likelihood that you'll fail because you'll set up more self sabotage than you realize, right? So follow these tomorrow, you're going to see an infographic of all of these points that you'll be able to take a look at, you'll be able to review. You can also check out my website sparks hope, dot life forward slash resources. And you see all the infographics that I've created from every session, not every session, but many of my sessions that I do here with you guys free every Wednesday.

So meet me here every Wednesday and bring your friends because they don't know this information either. We want to help them get it out there. Like we're used to this learning you might be used to this learning, but others are not. So bring them like, Hey, I love this. I love this training that I watch every Wednesday I want to bring you and I also want to remind you guys that the first Friday of the month, which will be coming up soon, July 1. Is it I'm looking at the calendar.

34:11  
Yep, July first I'm going to be doing a revive your relationship, starting with yourself. And revive your relationship is about taking a look at these things in your relationship and how they're affecting you. Whether it's your relationship with your current partner, the relationship with the partner that you want, or how you're even treating yourself. Because how you treat yourself is how you have others treat you and how you treat others is an indicator of how you're feeling about yourself. And the same thing is true for how they're treating you.

34:51  
And as we become aware of that we can start to shift it and change it without guilt without shame without judgment without conflict. So I'd love to see you there. You can take a look and find that on revive your relationship on Eventbrite. And if you have any question I can also get that information to you You can reach me here 954-657-3407 You can find me on my website sparks hope dot life forward slash contact on any of my social medias just message me, there is no stupid question except the one that you don't ask because it's left unanswered, right?

35:00  
So don't wait, let me know you do not have to live in these different things that you feel limited by or stuck by, you do not have to be stuck in anxiety or any negative emotion you think that it's just yours like you might call it my anxiety or my frustration or my perfectionism. You don't have to be stuck in these things, guys. I used to think that those were my rules too. But they're not. So let me help you make that change.

I've done it for hundreds of clients. I did it for myself. And so I can guarantee you, I know that it works. So let me know what questions you have. Let me know how this is related to you. And if you'd like to join my freedom from negative thinking Facebook group, you see it in every single one of my posts, check one of those and join me. I'm here every week sharing this information with you guys.

And there's other tools that I put into that group as well. Like the revive your relationship recording that goes into there. Alright, I'll talk with you soon you have a beautifully blessed day. Thank you guys so much for the hearts and the likes and the comments, hearts likes and comments back to you.

36:26  
And bring it in big squishy hugs. Know that your loved
36:36  you take care of you and I will see you next week. And I'll see you the first Friday of the month. Talk to you soon. Bye bye