10 Ways to Decluttering Your Mind & Space with Buffy of B Organized Today
Video Dated: May 15, 2022
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All right. Hello. Hello Facebook. Thank you guys for being here. Thank you, my tribe for jumping on. Today we're going to be talking about decluttering our mind and our space. And we've got Buffy Burley with us today review. Hi, everyone. Yes, Miss Buffy is from be organized from be organized today, she helps with organizing folks in her home helping them to pack on pack. And if I'm wrong about anything, let me know. And she also helps with companies helping them to get the same things together. Sometimes you might have everything already together, but you might have collected some things or you might have gained some things or need to clean out someone else's home. Maybe somebody who has passed away, or just various things come up, or you just need some extra help. And it just seems so overwhelming, or you just don't have the time. And so that's what Miss Buffy does. She helps in that regard. And honestly, I love it so much, because it's something that she and I have done in my office. And she knows how to decorate.
And I myself do not I'm not good at it. I have to admit, I can. And I see nothing at all. Alright, space. And she, yeah, she looks at a space and she sees organized and pretty. And this is how you do it. And I don't see that. I don't I don't. And so I get to admit that and she actually came here to my house and she looked around and in my office space, she was able to make it look good. And I walk into my space now. And I'm like, Whoa, like it look at this, this is pretty. And the funny thing is now that was last year now I don't even notice it was a problem. Now the organized and the having it together, it's just the way it is. And so now I'm thinking to have her come and do some other things to help me like with some some of my notebooks and some of my paperwork and some of my stuff.
And so it's really very helpful, because I don't think that way, it's not a skill that I have. But as I'm learning from her, it's also helping me to develop that organized skill in my space. And I myself about decluttering your mind and your mindset and your thinking. And so Miss Buffy and I have worked together in that regard to and she's so open and just like me right transparent about our story transparent about our journey. So that way you can learn from it to which you know, I always find inspirational because those of us who are able to be open about our story and our journey and helps others who are going through it to go oh, okay, so I can do it like that. So I just want to let Miss Buffy share her testimonial of working with me so you guys could hear that Miss Buffy would you like to share darlin?
Yeah. Like Tammy said, we have worked together in the past. And I like to think of both of us as wounded healers. So we've been through it, we've gone through the struggles, and now we can help other people make it through themselves. So I did work with Tammy right when COVID hit, I was having a really hard time kind of dealing with a lot of my mental baggage or my mental clutter. And Tammy has a really great way of helping you get it out. Number one, figure out what it is that you're actually saying to yourself, because for me that was really the biggest challenge was I didn't understand what was actually happening up here. And so it was hard for me to really kind of tackle the issues. And so working with Tammy allowed me to see what I was saying, like literally get it out understand what it was that I was saying so that I could attack the stories that I was telling myself, many of which were not true, many of which were developed in childhood as a defense mechanism.
And so once I started to realize what I was saying, I was able to start new stories and now instead of getting to a point with anxiety, and allowing you know myself to go down a rabbit hole, like 500 miles an hour, headfirst, I'm able to stop myself and go Hold on a second. What were you just thinking about? Was that true? So that I can really start to analyze and identify what it is that's making me upset. What it is that is causing this anxiety, I used to have this rock that just used to live in my stomach, this this mound of concrete that lived there before Tammy and I started working together, and just having the revelation and the realization of my thoughts is so powerful and so necessary. And that's one of the things that Tammy is able to help me do. And one of the things I really love is that when I wanted to throw other people under the bus or make other people my problem or you know, give other people this power that really wasn't theirs, she has this way of bringing it back to me and creating this perspective of well, how can you change it? What can you can? What can you control, because that's one of the things that I know I struggle with, I want to change the world, I want to make everything better, and learning what I can and cannot change has been really important. And I think that's one of the things that Tammy is able to kind of helped me identify. So awesome.
When I when I hear your story, it just makes me feel so good. And having watched you grow and it's just like yay. Yeah, I'm so proud of you. But for you, you've grown and you've turned everything that you were struggling into your new story into a way to help others and, and in return, you're helping me back because you're able to, as you're sharing these things, it's like, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
I know, it's the same with my clients, when they tell me like when you say like, you don't even realize it was a problem. Like, that's beautiful, that things have gotten integrated, and it becomes part of your lifestyle. And you know, that that's really what it is, like people think organizing is something inherently you own or you don't like you have or you don't. And it's not, it's not like that it's a skill, it's a transferable skill. It's something that anybody can learn. So, you know, kind of demystifying the fact that I'm not organized, a lot of times, it's just, it's gotten to a point where it's just so overwhelming, there's so much to do, that people get stuck in their tracks. And so that's kind of what we do is we kind of help you come in and figure out like, what's the next step, just a step?
You know, I always talk about it, it's it's progress, not perfection, you know, it's, it's one foot in front of the other, it doesn't take an overnight situation for clutter to happen. So to get out of it, it does take you know, step by step by step, it really is a process. And I think the same goes for your your headspace. It's a process of understanding the steps in your brain. And, you know, a lot of times we're able to picture something in our brains. And then when reality hits, we don't realize the magnitude of what it is that we're picturing and the amount of time and space and work that it's going to require. Yes. Right. So it just creates this big overwhelm of Oh, my gosh, how do I get from point A to point T? You know, and so I'm like, no, no, we're going from A to B, like, we'll get to T at some point. But that's not today. Just helping people understand that. It didn't happen overnight. It's not gonna change over I mean, it can change, but it's not going to get to where you can picture overnight.
Absolutely, yeah, that's so perfect. And so that actually kind of reiterates. So step one, we're going over 10 steps for you guys. And there'll be an infographic after this. So you'll be able to see it posted. And the infographic will be something that you can keep and continue to review. Overall, these are the steps that I can use to help myself. And so number one, or knowing that organizing is real. So thinking to yourself, I'm not good at organizing, now you can think to yourself, I don't have the skill yet of organizing, I can learn it. Right. So that was number one what Buffy shared. And then number two, notice that that there's this overwhelm that might come up and that's okay. And in that overwhelm, knowing that it's okay, if you're feeling stuck, ask for help. Right. And that's the same thing for myself as well as for Buffy is the same for when you have that overwhelm in your thinking and in your emotions, as well as your overwhelm out there. And oh, my gosh, this is just so much I have a path of you know, to walk through. And then there's all this stuff, or, you know, it was so organized when we first got here, but now we're in years later. And I just, it's just too much, or I've got stuff going on in my life. And I don't have time to get to that, but somebody else can help me do it. And then I can see how they did it and repeat it after that. Right? Are some people you know, they're just like, you know, I love what you did keep coming back.
Well, and I tell people, it's a lot easier to maintain a system than it is to create one. So that's what we're helping people do is create the systems that make sense to them, so that it's easier to maintain so that they know where things are. You know, a lot of times people don't realize they own 10 hair brushes and 15 screwdrivers until we get it all together because it's sort of floating around everywhere. So once we get everything categorized In zoned, then it's a lot easier to go, oh, okay, wait a second, all of my, all of my tools are in this zone, you know, all of my hair supplies are in this zone. And then that way you know where to go to look for it, instead of, I saw it floating around on the counter yesterday, but now it's not here. And so I'm going to search for an hour and maybe find it maybe not. And then I'm just gonna go by and if I can't, you know, so, you know, we're definitely trying to help people get mindful about what it is that they already own, so that they can save money. And they can save time by creating these zones and creating these categories so that they know where to look for things.
Awesome, that's beautiful. So that's actually another good point. So that would be number three, get mindful of what you own, find out and create a zone as actually like a poem, you're arriving.
And so the other step number four, is allowing yourself to take a look. And this, these steps actually apply for both the mind and your environment, you but you'll see how it kind of niches into the environment, as myself and Buffy are talking. When you are getting into this experience, and you feel like there's this overwhelm and, and all this stuff, what often happens is we feel like and I do this all the time, well, I just need to do this. But then when it comes down to it, this is not just a task, this is a project. And so being able like like what Buffy was saying, being able to see that there's out of this, you know, task is to get that test done, you're done, I need to move this phone, okay, done a project is I need to empty all of the pictures off of this onto the computer, label those pictures, get those from there, right. And so when I just say to myself, Oh, I need to get my pictures off my phone. And that's not the task. That is the project. And so realizing that's actually going to take like an hour to do that, if not a little bit longer, depending on how many pictures I've got on here. Well, it's yes, that's what I was gonna say exactly. Knowing that it's going to take the steps to do it, versus it's just a task. And that task will just get done. Because if you have it that way, then you're putting on an unfair expectations on yourself
On unrealistic expectations, and that's where the overwhelm comes in, I'm going to clean out my entire closet today, when it's a walk in closet, floor to ceiling is an unrealistic task. It's an unrealistic expectation. I, myself who do this, for a living cannot do a walk in closet and an hour, it doesn't work that way. You know, and I tried to explain to people, there's a lot of time involved with organizing, and it definitely, if you don't do it, I tell people 15 minutes a day, when we create a system, spending five to 15 minutes every day getting things back into their homes, we'll keep it nice and organized. If you choose to skip that every single day, then it's just going to add up over time. So if you're not doing it 15 minutes a day, that means, you know, an hour a week, or it means five hours a month, or it means you know, 20 hours a quarter, if you keep putting things off and it keeps building up, it's just gonna become a bigger and bigger task. But if you do it a little at a time, and you're consistent, and I think that you know, you and I kind of the same thing, it's consistency, its consistency in our thinking, it's consistency in our habits.
And you know, it can go both ways. So when we have people that are disorganized, there's a consistency and habits, you know, I'm just going to drop this here, and I'll deal with it later. I'm going to decide later. So that's one of the points I like to point out to people, a decision to decide later is a decision to keep, because it's still staying in space, it's staying exactly where you're leaving it right where it's at causing you angst causing you, you know, stress when you look at it, clutter is visual noise. So it's very noisy when you walk into a place it's cluttered. And that actually you want I wanted to bring it back to one of the points we were talking about before. Clutter is a manifestation of what's happening in your life. So if things are starting to get out of control, that means you're not putting enough time towards self care, you're probably not putting enough time, you know, you're not giving things the proper amount of time. And so clutter has a tendency to show you that. So when you see it starting to build up, it's kind of twofold. You're stressed out.
So clutter builds up, but clutter is building up so it's stressing you out, you know, so it's really a double edged sword there where you're getting hit both times. So I try to help people understand as your seasons change, and different things start to come into your life, your organization changes as well. So for example, I used to play the piano, I took a class and so I had this new hobby I needed to integrate the piano into my space so things had to get moved around. You can't just Stick a piano in a place and expect it to work, you have to kind of maybe eliminate some stuff or move some stuff into different areas so that you can make the flow happen again. So now three years later, I don't really play the piano too much anymore. So I had to take it out of my space so that new things can come in. Otherwise, what happens is, you end up in this sort of gridlock, if you just start piling things in, and you never take them out when new hobbies, New Seasons, you know, you had a baby emerged a household, maybe you lost somebody you move, if you don't ever reintegrate things, then there's no flow. And so you get kind of in this gridlock, you can't move. And so you get stuck, and you feel overwhelmed, and you feel stressed and you feel anxious, and you know, your mind's going crazy.
So it's interesting clutter, really organization, the more and more that I learned about it, and I teach about it, it really, it's the underlying to everything. It really is. And it's so interesting how it works with your brain. And so that's why Tammy and I have always thought, you know, we are wonderful together because she really declutters the mind what's going on in here. Why can't I let things go? You know, when you're decluttering, you have these you get stuck, you're like, I can't let that go. I might need that one day, you know? And then so I always have a question to combat that. Okay, well, if you can't find it, what would you do? You know, and typically, you could borrow it, you can buy it again. And one of my favorite things is when you go without or you, you can't find something or you don't have that thing you're looking for you improvise, you find a different way you become creative. What did they say that, you know, necessity is the father of invention or something. So allowing yourself to go without actually creates creativity and new pathways. So, you know, I always try to help my clients understand that. Okay, yeah, you might need it one day. And then when one day appears, you're gonna figure it out, just like you always have
100%, this is awesome God. And so you'll see me looking down. And what I'm doing is I'm jotting down what we're going to be for our 10 points, because Miss Buffy and I decided to let this blow naturally for you guys. Because we know as it's coming out for us, it's perfect for who's gonna be watching. And so just to reiterate, number one, organize organizing is a skill that you can learn. Number two, overwhelm. And getting stuck is actually a voice to ask for help and support that you're not supposed to do it on your own. So you can get clear of what that next step is. Number three, allow yourself to realize that you may be looking at a project versus a task. And so you want to take a look at what's the steps, what's the next steps. And if it's something that is a project, you want to take a look at, what's the first major steps what's like the first three steps keep it there, or just the first step. Sometimes I have to say to myself, watch just the next step. And then that's it got the blinders on, like a horse not looking at anything else. Exactly. I have to do that more than even some because I have like this add thing and so I can get really distracted. And so yeah, sometimes it's really bad to when, when my ADD lack of focus is kicking in, it has to be one thing only. Otherwise, anything after that becomes into this space of getting lost and getting stuck in that kind of thing. So number one,
The human brain can only handle one step at a time.
Well, it's seven to nine bits of information that the mind can hold units. However, what's interesting is when you think of one thing, think of one thing right now, and then then let yourself notice what comes with it. Right. And so we think oh, I can hold seven to nine bits of different information. Well, okay, let's say I'm looking at this pen. Okay, so what's on this pen now? I'm looking at something Oh, look red elephants on the you know, I need to reach out to read. I haven't talked to them in a little while. Right now. That's just four or five things. And I'm thinking, oh, you know what I just saw post that that Aman was sick. And I need to make sure he's how he's doing. Right. Now all of a sudden, I've got more than seven to nine bids, because now I'm also feeling is this emotion of how's he doing? So it's important to notice that yes, it's best to focus on one thing. Now, if one or two things actually lines up, that works out perfect. Right. So if I handle calling in mind that's going to address everything I was just thinking about. So and now I'll do that.
And now I have this as an anchor reminder, which is something else that I work with clients. So it's important to notice when your mind is going through all of that. You can cruise slowly back down. And so that's number four, getting really mindful, getting mindful now. This works in both ways. So the words that Buffy used is know what you own and get it In a zone, well, the same thing works in your thinking, you got to realize what you're thinking about knowing what you own and your thoughts and your stories and your beliefs. And the best way to do that is write it down. So this is the zoning of even how you think, put down what you're thinking negatively, what you're feeling from it, where you feel it in your body. And then on that same piece of paper, on the right hand side, you're gonna write down, what's a positive that you've learned from it? What's a blessing that you've learned from that negative experience? And if you're not sure, then we go back to number two, asking for that support and asking for that help. And that's what I do and being able to walk you through? Well, this is what I was thinking, and there's nothing negative about it, it just is, what does it have you feel good? Or is it moving you forward in your life? And if the answer is no, than it actually is negative, because of that negative experience for you.
I just wanted to reiterate the help asking for help, because that was one of the things when I started working with Tammy, I actually started working with a coach and I started working on nervous system regulation, I really started picking up a lot of new help for myself, because, you know, we get into this thinking, like I can take care of everything I can do, I can move mountains, and yeah, you can. But you can move mountains a million times easier if you have support. And if you have people rooting you on, and what's the point of moving a mountain if like nobody's there to even enjoy it with you. So like Tammy said, she's watched me grow over the last couple of years, you know, I have a whole team of people behind me now rooting me on, and it sort of has taken on a life of its own. It's no longer just mine, I have to share it now, you know, and like, there's such a synergy involved when you ask for help, because there's these, there's this energy that comes behind it that lifts you up and get you where you're trying to go. And
I think that, you know, I don't know, if it's an American mentality, or what it is about, we have to do things on our own, or else, it's not ours. But if you really think about everything, every idea is built off of somebody else's idea. You know, every invention is built off of somebody else's invention. And so like, when you ask for help, it's just the opportunity to allow other people to help you to the next level to help you get over the hump and help you get no one saying that if you're working with a hypnotherapist and you're working with an organizer, you have to work with them the rest of your life, you know, maybe you bring them in, when things get stressful, you bring them in when you realize that you're just overwhelmed. And that's, that should be the first key for anybody. I tell my team, I have somebody that answers my calls for me, I tell her if you hear the word overwhelmed, that is our client, that is the person we are trying to help. Because it's just this huge big picture thinking, which is wonderful.
But sometimes it's really hard to break down into bite sized pieces. And so that's what both of us are doing is we're helping you take these big projects or these big concepts in your minds, or these big stories, and we're helping you poke holes in it and we're helping you figure out okay, like Tammy said, number four, what is the first step? You know, only the first step? My husband teases me when I asked him to do multiple things. He's like, no, no, I'm a one test to me. That's all I can can concentrate on. So I started to take a note out of his book and just, you know, really focus on one task at a time. And it it, it goes for everything in life, not just your thinking or you're organizing, it's everything, you can only take one step at a time physically. So it needs to be the same, you know, in any other sense.
Yep, yep. I love that. And you know, the same thing for me. And like Buffy saying, we didn't do this on our own. I didn't get here on my own. I got here through I started personal development at age 17. And I'm 45 and I haven't stopped. Like I mean an intensive some of these have been like four or five days, beginning of the day to the end of the day intensives of learning and growing and developing. I've got my my bachelor's degree, my master's degree and that's not enough. I've got my hypnotherapy certification, I've got my massage therapy certification, I'm never gonna stop. I've got my coaching certification. You know, there's other certifications that I've done too. And it's just, it's just, it's all about us growing and learning and thriving and letting our minds develop, right. That's how we become these people who have our wounds, but then we heal, and then we can be these wounded healers, right? We were wounded once. We were through, we allowed ourselves to heal, but it was other people along the way that helped to guide us. And so yes, there is this mentality, whether it's just American, but I don't think it is. I've actually seen it in other countries, too. We're asking for help is weak. Thinking that we can't ask for help is really what's weak.
Because if you have somebody here that's going to help you carry this and it's so much easier, then then go for it. But yeah, okay, if you're super strong, and you can pick it up on your own, it's way easier to carry it on your own. I get that. But if there's these things that are going on, that are weighing you down, and it's like whoa, if I had helped to lift this up, it would be so much less better, then get that support and get that help, right? Okay. And then jumping into number five, keep it consistent. So whether you're doing 15 minutes of doing your work at home, or like, say, for instance, I might with with paperwork, I might say, Okay, five things today, right? Whatever that goal is that keeps you moving forward. And so in practicing that I love the 15 minutes idea, because, for me what, whatever those five things are, that usually takes around 15 minutes. So whatever moves you, but gives you that specific, and it might be like, once you're in 15 minutes, you're like, what I can keep going, and you can go after now, but it gets you started. Same thing with exercise, I might say to myself, Well, five minutes, I'm going to do some extra steps, I'm going to get in some yoga, I'm going to do the dance moves, whatever.
And then I'm like, Oh, my gosh, this was so much fun. Look, it's been like 20 minutes. And so it really helps you create that space of growing. So give yourself that consistency. And if you're like I can't do it every day, and put it on your calendar as to when and my suggestion is put it on your calendar, you'll forget possibly otherwise, or you'll have other things that push it out of the way. And that's the same thing with the work that I do with my clients. We meet every week, but they have work that they're doing. And I like to call it play work, not homework, because we have this negative thing about homework, you're putting it into action, you're putting it into life. And there's different pillars that we look at that have them practice, oh, this is how I set boundaries. This is how I practice. And in session, they'll bring whoever it is their partner or their child or even a friend or family or parent. And we practice it together if they're not sure how or they're not getting the results they want. And it's able to help them be able to see what to do next and practicing it anytime it comes up. So it's not like oh, let me set this every day. But it's going to come up every day because it's work that they want to work on. So keeping it consistent. I love what you said that consistency creates the habits.
And that's true, right? 21 days is what they initially said creates a habit. But now we understand that gets it started and creates the neural pathway. But you need to keep practicing it over your life. And like Buffy said, it's not something as you get it down your subconscious mind makes it automatic. So it's not something you have to keep seeing us for that you come back when something hits you into overwhelm, or it hits you into stress, or it seems like it's sending you backwards or because when we level up and we're coming out of our comfort zone, we might find ourselves shifting into what we knew in the past. We're like, hey, we need something new for this. Like what what Buffy was saying for number six, letting the old out right? This is even in the Bible we're talking about don't keep your old wine hide, right for new wine, because it'll make it first you need to get new ones for the new stuff. So it could expand, and it could hold that. So you're creating almost a new container of yourself to hold the new things you want to do. So it's good stuff. Yeah. It's awful.
Yeah, I'm totally loving it. And so we didn't, we didn't talk about it yet. But I want to move into number seven. And number seven, is understanding that all of your emotions are good, right? And this applies both in what you're thinking as well as what's going on out here. If you have emotions that are saying, Whoa, this is so overwhelming, I can't even look at it. Stop for a second notice the negative thought that thought that says this is so overwhelming. Is that helping you or holding you back? Is it stopping you? Then you notice it's stopping you? Okay? This is so overwhelming, I can't look at it. So you're creating a habit of choice that says I'm not going to look at it. And I'm going to leave it there. So what's going to happen even though you think you're not bothered, as you look over here, there's an underlying overwhelm that you're not addressing. So that overwhelm actually isn't bad. It's there to tell you you're stressed, it's there to tell you there's something that's too much. And you need to either work on it or get help to help you work on it.
But it's telling you, hey, let's focus on this. This overwhelms telling you you're too stressed out about something, whether it's in your space or in your thinking which brings the emotion of overwhelm. So note is it's actually a guide to walk you through, hey, my emotions are telling me what I'm thinking. My thinking is telling me, you know, whether you're on the right path, or whether you're needing to create a new path of thinking or literally in where you're living. And so when you're taking a look at emotions, understanding that they're there to tell you something overwhelm is there to tell you that you're stressed. And the thing is, you need to declutter, you're writing it down helps you declutter it out of your mind. Calling Buffy helps you declutter it out of your space. And once you've written it down, you might not know what to do with it.
So that's where you reach out to me and we help you break it down. What's needed. How do you practice this differently in your life? How do you take a look at what are the stories going on? How do you help yourself to stop believing those stories? Going through that whole process. And so that's number seven. All emotions are good. Even though you might think they're bad, I usually have a battery here, I don't have it with me. It's in my office, I'm in the kitchen today. But if you think about the positive side of the battery, and the negative side of the battery, which one would you say is bad? Neither. Exactly right, you're like, well, is that a trick question? The idea to keep in mind is we say the positive emotion is good, and the negative emotion is bad. But what if it's just like a battery, where neither can be good or bad, you need both for the flow to happen. And so allowing yourself to understand those emotions is really a central,
What I was going to say, number eight, because we were talking about emotions and things like that and overwhelm, it's just, it's, it's an intention to get you moving. So if you are overwhelmed, and you're standing still, it's a lot more painful than moving forward. So if you like, you know, if you're not physically standing still, but if you're emotionally standing still, and let's say you walk into your garage, and you think I'm going to tackle the whole garage today, number one, nope, you know, because you're gonna walk out and you're gonna go, yep, not today, you're gonna close the door and pretend it never happened. So my suggestion is always start small, start something, you know, move, even if that means taking a basket off of the shelf, and sorting through that basket to see what you have. That's an action, that's a step in the direction you're trying to go.
So don't be afraid to keep moving forward. Because it's when you stand in the standstill that you swirl. So whether you're standing still in your thinking, or whether you're standing still in your organization, it's just painful, you know, we're active beings. And you know, your active might be different than my active, you know, I tell people, people are like, Oh, your house must be perfect. And I'm like, yeah, no, I live in my house. So like, there's a difference between clean and organized, not that I'm filthy, but like, you know, I know where my things are, it doesn't take me long to find things I you know, I rarely misplace things. That's what it means to be organized. You know, it doesn't mean that everything is Uber perfect. And picture perfect. So maybe number nine is setting realistic expectations when it comes to decluttering, or when it comes to your emotional well being, because a lot of times what I find, like I said, people want to set the expectation of my garage has been disorganized for 20 years, and I'm gonna go out there, and I'm going to tackle it today.
And I'm going to knock it out. So that's very unrealistic, myself, and my entire team probably could not help you knock it out in a day. So you've got to remember that, you know, it took time to get where you're going, and it took consistency to get where you're going. So if you're consistently piling things on, piling things on ordering new things, always always acquiring and never releasing, then you're gonna get a buildup, and it's gonna, it's gonna happen. And so if you're consistently, you know, bringing new things in, but you're incorporating them into the space and you're releasing items, then that's a flow, versus this gridlock that happens after a while of just bringing in bringing in bringing in bringing in never really filing. Essentially, you know, when you think about organizing, I personally don't love filing. But if you think about organizing your filing things into where they go, you're categorizing them, you're sticking them in their, their slots, or whatever. And so that's really, what people fail to realize is that, you know, there is a consistency already. So like we talked about with habits, there's already a consistency happening.
And all we're doing is tweaking it, you know, people think that you have to have these huge overhauls in your life and, you know, you really don't like if you change everything you're doing, then how did how do you know what was working and what wasn't some things are working. You know, even when it comes to organization, people are like, Oh, I'm so disorganized, nothing works. Nothing's good. Nothing's whatever, but they do have systems in place that work, you know, so you don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. And you want to recognize that there's things that work and then you want to build upon those things. So it doesn't have to be these gigantic leaps of where you're going so like even with Tammy helping me work out my my mindset. It's not these gigantic leaps, even though when we do come to a revelation or realization it is because you're able, like one of the best things for me was I was able to put down some mental baggage. I was like, I got to a point where I realized like, holy moly, like, this isn't even my baggage that I've been carrying around.
This belongs to other people and I don't need to carry it anymore. So you know kind of unloading of the stuff that you realize that isn't yours or doesn't serve you. I tell people clutters anything thing that does not fit and function in your life. It does not mean it is not functional, it does not mean that it is trash, it means so if, let's say there's stuff on your, let's say there's a blender on your countertop, and you never use the blender ever, that's clutter to you, because you don't use it. It's not that the blender doesn't work. It's not that the blender is bad, it's that the blender doesn't function for you, therefore, it doesn't serve you therefore it's clutter. So I think people think of clutter information. Yeah, I just think people think clutter is trash. And I'm like, No, it's not like clutter is useful items. It's just not necessary. There's millions of products in the world. Some of them work, and some of them don't. And I think that that's what happens, you end up in this guilt, like I spent money on something I must keep it for for went forever. You know, like, even if it doesn't serve you, you know. So a lot of this is mindset around the clutter as well like a lot of it. But typically what happens is we put a little tweak in people's perspectives, and they're often running, you know, so it's totally,
Absolutely, yeah, I love that. And so that actually, what you thought was number nine, we do have a number three, as far as setting realistic expectations. I think number nine is good based on what you're sharing is removing the judgment, right, removing that judgment out of things is nothing is good, Everything's bad. You know, I'm just messing this up. I can't get it together all of that. But just taking it step by step, seeing that you're doing a lot of things great. There's just some things that need some tweaking some things that are you know, kind of missing a spot, you're missing a button. Or maybe there's a skill, like we talked about before that you just don't have. And so learning that new skill or letting somebody else do it, because you don't need to learn the skill of somebody else can do it. I didn't need to learn how to decorate my my space, Buffy did it for me, I'm okay with that.
Love it. Well, and that's a good point is that I love doing it. So I believe there's a book, I don't know the name of it. But somebody was telling me that, you know, it was suggesting that you do those things you love, and let the people that love what they do do those things, because it's just a drudgery. Otherwise, you know, if you don't love organizing and you don't love, you know, doing these things, and you can afford to have someone else do it. I mean, like housekeeping, people hire cleaners all the time now, because they just don't want to do it anymore. And that's okay. Yeah, no,
Yeah. and be be open to the idea. Like if a lot of times, and this is just a, what's called a poverty mindset. If I would think of something I'd be like, Yeah, I'd like to do that. But I can't afford it. I never even found out how much it was. I just assumed it was too much. And then there's a lot of people, including myself, I've worked with people with trade. And so I do for them what I'm good at, and they do for me what they're good at. And so anyway, yeah, yeah, there's so many different ways of doing things. So it doesn't have to be the way you think it is. Or should be. If you let yourself think Well, I'd like that. How could I make that happen? It lets your mind come up with new thoughts. If you're in judgment and you're in not good enough and you're in failing, there's no more room that's the old stuff bogging all of you down, but if you're into Okay, well, what if I'm not judging myself? But what if this is something that I do want to change? What if I'm not comparing myself to other people? Instead, I'm looking at well, how can I make it different now?
Then the mind will come up with ideas and then number 10, which I think is really great. I love it is unload what isn't yours? Right? So some of these concepts that you might notice yourself having what have you got them from your parents and grandparents? All of that poverty mindset I just shared with you was what my family always said, we don't have enough, right? There's not enough but what was interesting is I would notice that this was also issues with my with my mom, is there was enough for her to get cigarettes and get the things that she wanted and get the milk and get the this and get that. And I say nope, because I there wasn't enough milk for me to have, but there was enough milk for her. So simple things like that made a huge difference for a little kid because I liked my milk and my cereal, but I had to share it with my whoever she was taking care of whatever little kid she had, she always had little kids taken care of. So it was just a reinforcement to me that there wasn't enough for me. And so I have have also retained that in my life.
And I have to catch it when I'm doing it and stop it. You know, I will not throw food away. I will make sure I eat the food which I want to and I love I love not wasting, but then there's times when it's something I hate and my husband has to go out. Don't eat that. Don't make yourself eat that. And I'm like, okay, okay, okay, you're right, you're right. Sometimes it's really hard for me to break out of it because it's what I learned growing up. You know, you eat it, you're not going to waste it and it'll be at your table until you eat it. Every single meal is going to be there. And so I just learned that process of Yeah, you don't you don't waste food. You just don't And then of course, I see so many people wasting food that it bothers me. So that has reinforced, you know, some silly things, but I can actually throw enough away now that I don't like, it's okay. It's
The same with organizing with the whole, I might need it one day mentality, you know, you've been taught that you might need it that you must keep everything that you buy, because it's all valuable. It's the same premise. You know, and I know that I've had a scarcity mindset in the past. And I don't know what happened. I think working with you, Tammy, like, we've talked about my scarcity mindset. And suddenly, a switch went off. And I have an abundance mindset now, and things flow to me so much easier. And I've never really, I mean, when I was younger, we struggled as well, my mom was a single parent, she had three jobs, you know, she was always trying to make ends meet, she was always working. So we did have a little bit of scarcity occurring. But in my adulthood, in the last, you know, 25 years, since I've been able to physically work, I've never had that issue, I've always had a way to make ends meet.
And now that I have this abundance mindset, things comes so much easier, like so much easier, like I'm spending money in a different way than I ever have before, that would make me choke 10 years ago, you know, and now I'm like, It's fine, I need to invest in my business, I'm gonna spend it, I need to, like, reward my team, I'm gonna give it to them. And every time I do that, every time I give to the world, I receive a million times more. So one of the things I tried to explain to people, okay, so that blender doesn't serve you, and you're going to donate it, and now it's going to serve somebody that needs it. And it's going to take on, it's a whole new life, because of your generosity, that you're letting this thing go. And it's almost like cognitive behavioral therapy, when you let so it's hard to let that blender go, I spent, you know, it's, it's an it's a Vitamix, and I had all these intentions attached to it. So it's not the thing. It's the intentions, it's the dreams, it's the you know, it's all these things that you've attached to that thing that you sort of have to let go of. So when you let that go, and you let it move on and have its own life, the beauty of it is yeah, it might be mildly painful when you initially do it. But when it's done, and now you have this counterspace that's free to you to use for the things you need and use. It opens up this whole new world. And it's actually this brand new joy that you didn't think you could have. And it stops you from being blocked. It stops you from standing still, it allows flow again.
And it allowed our airfryer that you probably use all the time, right and allowed you to put in something that much more fun now. Yes. Like yeah, it just if something does not serve you that is clutter. That's that's the essence of it. I don't care how much you spent on it. I don't care how much you know who gave it to you, if it does not serve you, specifically? That is clutter.
Beautiful. Well, we are at time, I want to thank you so much, Miss Buffy. This was so inspirational, informational. And I know it's gonna help a lot of people. Please do continue to share it. I'll continue to share it. Those of you who are watching watching the replay. Those of you who I could see hearts are popping, but I can't see who it is. Thank you so much big hearts back to you guys. We really appreciate you guys spending your time with us. And please do share this information. There's some people who've never heard of this stuff before. They don't even know it's possible. Oh, I see Phyllis gave us a heart of hearts to fill in.
Yeah, don't be afraid because these things are unconventional organization. You know, personal organizers are kind of a new concept to people. Hypnotherapy is kind of a mystified thing. And that's what we want to do. We want to iron that out for you. And we're just people trying to help people. That's the bottom line.
It's all about just changing your mindset, whatever term people use, like, you know, like that, oh, the whole thing that you were saying about but be like, it's like cognitive behavioral therapy, we'll just because they termed it cognitive behavioral therapy. What that means is you're changing your thinking, hey there, Larry, big hearts to you, too. Now they're starting to show up. You're pushing through the pain, right? It doesn't matter what label it's given. You're you have a brain that you can change. You have behavior that you can change. You have a way of thinking that you can change however it is that you'll find ways to help yourself, change it. That's the way to do it. There's no right way.
No wrong way. No label on it. Just find what you need to help you grow, help you thrive help you step into abundance. And then if you want to find people like myself or Buffy to help you kind of declutter stuff, you're not sure how. That's what we're here for. We had people do the same thing for us, or we had a life experience that have helped us to do the same thing. So just know that you're not alone. We're not doing this because it's just our jobs. We're doing this big As we love it and that's why we've made it our business, literally. So we are the declutter, ladies. So you guys, we just appreciate you so much and we look forward to hearing from you and I'm on here each Wednesday at 815 Answering your questions and so please do share any questions or challenges that you have that guides my topic and as always bring it in big squishy Alright, take care buddy.