10 Ways to Build Confidence and Easily Ask for Help

Video Dated: July 15, 2022

00:18
Good morning! I hope you guys are having a great day. I'm having technical difficulties today. Go figure, I don't know why things are not happening the way they're supposed to. So I actually decided to come on here and try doing it differently. So you're going to actually be floundering around for a second. But while we're doing this, I'd like for you to go ahead and take a look at the topic, which is 10 ways to build confidence and easily ask for help.

And the idea is you get to be able to get that confidence that you want in your life. And there will be things that come up, so for example, today with this going on, I guarantee you, this is throwing me off, and I'm just like, Wait, why isn't this working? What's going on? Something's happening. It's not right. 

00:58
Yes, it's giving me the error again. Okay, so still having technical difficulties, I do see from you guys that we are live. Thank you guys, so much for the hearts, I appreciate it so much. And let's see if we can do this a different way. I'm gonna try it from. Okay, so the idea what I've shared with you guys in the past is also the same now. So when I'm going over these with you, I want you to know that there's not a particular order it has to go in, okay.

01:32
The idea is, as we're going to be going over these topics, and as we're going to be going over the 10 different items, think about them, they might be in the best order to look at them. But you're gonna keep going back and forth, you're going to keep using these points. And you might find starting at seven is better, sometimes verses starting at one. So they're not in any particular order that you have to do. And by doing one doesn't mean that you're done.

You go back to them. All right, cool beans. And so it looks like it's finally letting me share so good. Also, too, if you guys are sharing to any groups, thank you so much for doing that. Oftentimes, we think that this stuff is common sense. But it really isn't. It's it's not something that's learned before. It's not common sense. And so it's important that we make sure that people understand, hey, this is what's going on, this is the support that you need.

02:26
Helps us there's to know that okay, this is something everybody's going through this isn't something that because I don't know, that means I'm stupid. People often get that in their thinking and that's totally not true. Okay, so who am I? Why am I here, my name is Tammy workman Lopez and I come on here each and every week for you guys, I also come on your on the first Friday of the month with a revive your relationship starting with yourself webinar.

02:54
The Wednesday webinars are a mindset reset. So any questions that you have that you feel like something's blocking you or you feel stuck? Then we take a look at that, and we see what's going on? What do we need to retrain in our thinking? What's going on that our subconscious mind won't stop this block from happening in our lives? And if it's subconscious, guys, you're not gonna know.

So don't expect so much from yourself until you learn these things? How are you going to know? Like that, that new thing? Who's going to know? How are they going to know? You're not going to know until your mind becomes aware of it and starts to understand, oh, that's why I'm blocked or that's what I'm thinking.

Now, some of you might know why you might go, Yeah, I know. I'm blocked because of this. But there's belief systems that go along with that, that is included in that process that has different habits going on that has you stuck that you may not be aware of, or you might be sort of aware of, but you don't know what to do about. And that is why I do this work. Because I was exactly the same way.

03:59
I was stuck in my thinking I didn't understand that I was wrong. I didn't realize it was a belief. It was just true. There was nothing I could change about it. And that was the belief, right? But I didn't know it because if you think something is just true, you don't even know to question it.

04:27
And so that's what was going on. For me. I grew up thinking I was not good enough. I grew up thinking that everything was going to be difficult for me. And that must mean that I'm not you know, something's wrong with me kind of experience. And then I began to realize, no, that's not the case at all.

There's just some things going on. There's just some different issues going on, that I needed to learn and grow and thrive. Right. And so that's what I've been able to do. I've been able to come out of a life full of anxiety and despair and not good enough and all of these terrible, terrible experiences that I was having, but I didn't realize I was having a lot of it because of me.

05:00
I was actually and as I began trying on this wildlife could be better like this all the time, I began to open up and feeling safer and feeling safer and feeling a little bit better and feeling like Whoa, it's getting a little bit easier. Now, it took me about six months before I saw a change.

05:20
But when I'm able to work with my clients, I'm able now to take everything that I got, plus all the years of my education and all the years of my personal development, and bring it all together. So they're able to get results within one session, right? They're able to already see a lot of that stuff that took me years really, to be able to get. And so that's why I continue to bring this to you. So you can see how it works. And you can practice it, you can start getting results the very first day.

05:59
Calm that piece, that helping the mind to let go of the negative thinking, helping the actions to let go of that negative practice. That is why I do what I do. Because I saw if it could help me, then it could also help others. And there was no way I wasn't going to leave people in that space, I wasn't going to leave people in that struggle and in that pain, and in that feeling like they could never get out of that. It's just, I know that feeling. And I couldn't leave anyone there ever. And so that's why I do what I do.

06:25
And so as you're looking through these, you'll see that there bits of what I was just sharing with you, and how you can practice them and how you can do them. Thank you so much for the hearts guys that are here, you're setting your boundaries, you're not attacking, you're sharing what you think you're sharing what you feel you're sharing what they need to know, you're helping them to understand what the problem is versus attacking them. So you're turning to confront the issue with them. So hey, let's turn to confront this issue together. So confrontation does not mean you're turning around to attack your person, right, that person in front of you does not mean that, but we have had it that it means that. And so we've been afraid to do it.

And so as you now have this, whoa, that's what confrontation means. That helps your confidence so much more, because you're not coming in afraid you're not coming in, like you're gonna hurt somebody, you're coming in, like, oh, well, this is what needs to be said. And I'm doing it in a respectful way. And I'm creating respect for myself back because I'm sharing with them how they can treat me. And then we move forward. If they can't, okay, this relationship is not a good fit. If they can, we've cleaned things up. But you've been 100% clear, it allows their brain to understand what it is that they're doing in a clear, respectful way. And you move forward.

07:39
As we're going to be going over these topics, and as we're going to be going over the 10 different items, think about them, they might be in the best order to look at them. But you're going to keep going back and forth, you're going to keep using these points. And you might find starting at seven is better, sometimes versus starting at one so they're not in any particular order that you have to do. And by doing one doesn't mean that you're done. You go back to them. Alright, cool beans.

And so it looks like it's finally letting me share so good. Also, too, if you guys are sharing to any groups, thank you so much for doing that. Oftentimes, we think that this stuff is common sense. But it really isn't. It's it's not something that's learned before. It's not common sense. And so it's important that we make sure that people understand, hey, this is what's going on.

This is the support that you need. And there's nothing wrong with it. That's actually the biggest piece. Being able to ask for help. Being able to share support helps others to know that okay, this is something everybody's going through this isn't something that because I don't know, that means I'm stupid.

People often get that in their thinking and that's totally not true. Okay, so go on my Why am I here My name is Tammy workman Lopez and I come on here each and every week for you guys. I also come on your on the first Friday of the month with a revive your relationship starting with yourself webinar.

09:06
The Wednesday webinars are mindset reset. So any questions that you have that you feel like something's blocking you or you feel stuck? Then we take a look at that and we see what's going on? What do we need to retrain in our thinking? What's going on in our subconscious mind won't stop this block from happening in our lives?

And if it's subconscious, guys, you're not gonna know. So don't expect so much from yourself until you learn these things. How are you going to know? Like that, that new thing? Who's going to know? How are they going to know? You're not going to know until your mind becomes aware of it and starts to understand, oh, that's why I'm blocked, or that's what I'm thinking. Now some of you might know why you might Oh, yeah, I know. I'm blocked because of this.

10:00
But there's belief systems that go along with that. That is included in that process that has to current habits going on that has you stuck that you may not be aware of, or you might be sort of aware of, but you don't know what to do about. And that is why I do this work because I was exactly the same way.

10:11
I was stuck in my thinking, I didn't understand that I was wrong. I didn't realize it was a belief. It was just a truth. It was just true. There was nothing I could change about it. And that was the belief, right? But I didn't know it. Because if you think something is just true, you don't even know to question it. And so that's what was going on. For me, I grew up thinking I was not good enough, I grew up thinking that everything was going to be difficult for me.

And that must mean that I'm not that smart, or, you know, something's wrong with me kind of experience. And then I began to realize, no, that's not the case at all. There's just some things going on. There's just some different issues going on, that I needed to learn and grow and thrive. Right? And so that's what I've been able to do, I've been able to come out of a life full of anxiety and despair and not good enough.

And all of these terrible, terrible experiences that I was having that I didn't realize, I was having a lot of it because of me. I was actually creating it, creating these problems and these struggles. And so I was able then to begin changing my thinking and changing my mindset. And as I began to do that, I started to go, oh, my gosh, this doesn't have to be that way. Like I don't have to live with anxiety.

I don't have to live with perfectionism. I don't have to live with struggling all the time. I don't have to live with feeling depressed. I don't have to live with fear constantly.

11:42
Well, okay. Okay, I could be open to another way. And then I slowly kept trying on this other way, Right? And it was, it almost felt wrong, Right? because of the way I used to know it just it didn't feel like it was safe. It felt like, you know, where's the shoe gonna fall kind of thing.

12:05
But I got used to it as I continue to practice it, right stuff is hard. And so we practice it in the subconscious mind turns it into turns it onto auto autopilot, basically. So for me, initially, it was really hard. But it was like, whoa, this feels better. The next day, it still feels better. Okay, so maybe this could be reality. Maybe this could be real life, and how life is supposed to be.

12:47
And so then, I began trying it on all the time. And as I began trying on this wildlife could be better like this all the time, I began to open up and feeling safer and feeling safer and feeling a little bit better and feeling like Whoa, it's getting a little bit easier. Now, it took me about six months before I saw a change. 

13:06
But when I'm able to work with my clients, I'm able now to take everything that I got plus all the years of my education, all the years of my personal development, and bring it all together. So they're able to get results within one session. Right? they're able to already see a lot of that stuff that took me years really to be able to get. And so that's why I continue to bring this to you. So you can see how it works.

13:36
And you can practice it, you can start getting results the very first day that calm that piece, that helping the mind to let go of the negative thinking and helping the actions to let go of that negative practice.

13:45
That is why I do what I do because I saw it could help me, then it could also help others. And there was no way I wasn't going to leave people in that space, I wasn't going to leave people in that struggle and in that pain and in that feeling like they could never get out of that. It's just I know that feeling. And I couldn't leave anyone there ever. And so that's why I do what I do.

14:11
And so as you're looking through these, you'll see that there bits of what I was just sharing with you, and how you can practice them and how you can do them. Thank you so much for the hearts, guys. I really appreciate it hearts back to you. Okay, so now, here we go.

14:29
First of all, if you're coming into something that seems really difficult, and your confidence is kind of low, you want to allow yourself to think about what your previous successes have been. And so it could sound like, Oh, I totally know how to do this. Because I've done this and this and this and this and it's just like this, or they're similar to this, or I've been able to accomplish something when something was hard and this is hard. So I know I can do this. And so as you're thinking about those past successes, it's giving proof to your subconscious mind, and it's shifting away old proof.

15:00
Yeah, but I failed. And yeah, but this and yeah, but bad. And it's, it's replacing it with, yeah, I got this because I did this and I did that like this, so I can do this. Right. So that really helps to support that. Number two, we think that confrontation means fighting and arguing and hurting ourselves or hurting somebody else. A lot of times people can't set boundaries unless they're like,

15:25
Ah, no, I can tell you what I think because I'm sick of you. And I'm sick of this, and I'm sick of how I feel. But what if confrontation just means literally means to turn and look at something? What if that's all it means? What if it doesn't mean all of that other pain?

All of the other mean? And angry words? What if it doesn't mean you have to cut people off and never talk to them? Again? What if it means being very clear, turning around to confront something? And instead of using, you know, like, What do you mean? Why are you talking like that? Why, hey, when you say this, this is how it feels.

And this is what it makes me think, is that what you're trying to do right now. Because if it is, I need to walk away. And if it is, that's not what a friend does. Right? So you're real clear, you're setting your boundaries, you're not attacking, you're sharing what you think you're sharing what you feel you're sharing what they need to know, you're helping them to understand what the problem is, versus attacking them, to your turning to confront the issue with them. So hey, let's turn to confront this issue together.

So confrontation does not mean you're turning around to attack your person, right? That person in front of you does not mean that, but we have had it that it means that. And so we've been afraid to do it. And so as you now have this, whoa, that's what confrontation means. That helps your competence so much more, because you're not coming in afraid you're not coming in, like you're gonna hurt somebody, you're coming in, like, oh, well, this is what needs to be said.

And I'm doing it in a respectful way. And I'm creating respect for myself back because I'm sharing with them how they can treat me, and then we move forward. If they can't, okay, this relationship is not a good fit. If they can, we've cleaned things up. But you've been 100% clear, it allows their brain to understand what it is that they're doing in a clear, respectful way.

17:21
And you move forward, that helps your confidence grow. And without even asking for help. You're having them help in that relationship. And in that conversation. Right. Okay. So then number three, this one, I don't know where you guys are at in your spiritual walk. So whatever the wording is for you that has you feel like yeah, I get what you mean. For me, when I think about God.

17:55
And this took a long time, I used to think about God as an authoritative, angry, punishing God. So this wouldn't have worked a long time ago. But if somebody had shifted my thinking, and said, Well, what about the loving part of God? I could just Yeah, okay, there's a loving part of God, that part of God that's loving my little brothers and my little sisters that are in heaven, that part of God who, you know, was taking care of us, that part of God who gave us a beautiful earth.

So even though when I was little, I thought of God is a very angry, mean kind of person sending people to hell, if somebody had had me think about that would have been like, yeah, there's that loving part of God. So now I realized that other part that I thought God was,

18:30
Those are the outcomes that we choose, right? So like, if I choose not to be in God's life and not to be with God, then that's my choice. But if I'm choosing to be with him, then I could see these other ways of of how he is, oh, cool. But either way, he's always that he's always loving his children unconditionally. He's always wanting them to be in relationship with him.

He always wants 100%, their best interest kind of thing. And now as an adult, I understand that and as my spiritual walk has grown, I understand that, but some people don't say God, some people say Yaweh some people say, God is everything, you know, so whatever, you know, it's not about separation, right?

19:12
Our spiritual walk is our spiritual walk. And there is no space for me to tell you, you're wrong. I can tell you what my spiritual walk is. And I can tell you, that's what I believe. And I can share with you that information. So just know that your journey is your journey, Okay?

So think of yourself through God's loving eyes. So that unconditional parent that says, Honey, you're going to make mistakes, and you're going to hurt me by stuff that you say or do. This is not about me. This is about you growing and developing and thriving. So do these things because it's helping your life not because you're worried about hurting my feelings, right?

That's what God wants for us. He says, I gave you free will because they want you to choose these things, because it's what's good for you now because it's what I want for you. So see you right?

20:02
So let's imagine, so here's this loving, unconditional parent who's looking at their child going, oh, man, you're so awesome. You came from me, I created you, I love you. You're so magnificent. I want the best for you. You're totally awesome. Everything that you do, I'm so proud of you. Even the mistakes that you make, I know that you're learning. I know your heart. I know your hearts in the best place.

You're a beautiful person who's always looking out for others, always making a difference, whatever that positive is about, you know that that's what God is seeing. Know that. That's how God is saying, you know, that judgment, that criticism that not good enough? Nope, that's your perspective. But that's an aside.

20:40
So you can let yourself clean that up. And that's actually the work that I do and helping people clean that up. We can have ourselves feel motivated, and driven without criticism, and negativity and self abuse. So letting yourself yeah, seeing myself through God's eyes. Gosh, he's so proud of me, he wants me to accomplish so much he wants me to be in that potential that he sees for me, which is so much bigger than the potential I have for me, because I limit myself and I limit what I think I can do. And, you know, he really wants all of these things for me, and you know, all of that things.

So being able to process through that way grows, your confidence grows your strength. Number four, recognizing your accomplishments. So what this looks like is you are looking at your accomplishments of today, of yesterday, and being able to go Oh, my gosh, I did that. That's so cool. So like, if you saw somebody else do that, you'd be like, oh, man, I'm so proud of you. How did you do that? You did all those steps. That's so cool. I'm so that's so absolutely wonderful. And then you would be like giving them accolades. And you'd be looking at how they're able to do it.

21:49
And oh, good morning, Tony. Blessings to you, too, sweetheart. So you would be able to go through all these different steps in these different processes to be acknowledging yourself and celebrating yourself and just feeling so good. And by the way, those of you that are popping on, please do comment, like Tony did, so that way that I see that you're there.

21:59
And if by chance it doesn't show up, and let me know, I still will reply afterwards. So if you have any questions, or you're watching the replay, put hashtag replay or hashtag question, and I'll make sure to come back and respond to it. And if it's a question you'd like me to elaborate on, then I can actually add that into next week's session, because each of my weeks are here for you. These are not things I'm doing just to do them.

I'm doing them because they want you to have hands on practical tools that you can start using this information and start changing your perspective, which starts changing your beliefs, which starts changing your emotions, which starts changing your habits, which starts changing your actions, which starts changing all of what you want in your life. Right? So these little bits of juicy treasures that I'm giving you each week are for you to practice, literally. Okay.

22:58
Which goes to number five, practice confidence, skill building. People think confidence is something that you just have. That's BS, guys. total BS. Confidence is something you have to grow. So people have it. I think I'm having technical difficulties. Again, it looks like it is not recording. Give me one second.

24:18
Yay. Okay, it says it's still live. So I'm going to check just to make sure. So I want to make sure you guys are able to see this and not that it's not going away. Okay, sorry about that, guys. I appreciate your patience.

Oh, my gosh, today has been full of technical difficulties. Yay. Okay, so I need to repost this really quick because it looks like it's stopped in other locations. And then we're going to jump back to number five. So while I'm doing this, I'm going to talk about number five and jump back to it right now.

24:27
So the idea, people tend to think that you're born with confidence. Now, that may be the case for some people, right? Some people may be born with confidence, because you see that they're that way from the very beginning. Now it's important to realize that we do pick up experiences from our mothers. So if our mother is really depressed or really upset or really angry, or in any one of those negative emotions, that is dumping into our little baby bodies, right?

25:00
And so I've seen babies born very angry. I've seen babies born, who have been having to go on through withdrawals. I've seen babies born who they didn't get enough food. So they were so small in their heads were so big. So it's important to to realize that your body was already affected before you were born. And there's nothing wrong with that it's not your fault, or, you know, there's no blame for that.

25:25
It's being able to realize that's just our, that was our room, right? That was the room that we were living in for nine months. And so that's the stuff that we were encountering, right? So if you think about it that way, it's just like, oh, okay, that's what I was going through. But oftentimes, we don't realize that that's what we're going through.

And then we think that there's something wrong with us. So when we're very tiny, I was so anxious. I was so nervous. I've always been that way ever since a little kid. I don't know what's wrong with me. What if there's nothing wrong with you? Right? What if that was just what you were dealing with? And that's okay.

26:11
That's okay. Stuff happens. And so that gives you room to breathe and grow and go, Oh, okay. I get that. Now I get that's what I was going through. So it lets you breathe. And it gives you that space. So you can go oh, so if confidence is something that I can learn? Then these other things, I can also unlearn.

Ah, yes, you can. So you can unlearn negative beliefs, you can unlearn that negative emotional dump that was happening into your body as you're practicing growing up. And that's why it's really good to have this stuff. So you can share it with your kids, because you can share it with them way earlier than you got it.

26:45
And you know, it's just something that you can bless them with, it's not something that you have to think, well, you know, I'm better wrong, because I don't have it. You're actually not. Right. Okay.

26:55
So how do I build my skills? Well, you build your skills by taking a look at what are some things that you can do to learn how to be engaging, there's questions on Facebook, on on Facebook, and on Google that you could look up questions like how to connect with my parents, how to connect with a spouse, how to create.

27:15
What's the word like, how to create an intimate relationship, how to get to know somebody on a first date, there's all these things that you can look up that can support you. So look them up, you can get help, without even asking having to ask somebody directly. Because there's so much on the internet now, to be able to help you learn and grow and give yourself room to realize that it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. And that you should know, you want to give yourself room to get off Right? You don't need to be shooting on yourself. It's not, it's not healthy.

So it gives yourself room to breathe. Gives yourself room to practice and learn. And it can be so much fun. Some of these questions are like, if you could have dinner with three people, who would it be and why? It's just fun. It's just like a game, let yourself have that game. Let yourself have that fun. It's really good for you. Okay, now, let's see.

28:19
Okay, so number six. Number six is being able to allow yourself to find your own voice and to be your advocate. So that kind of goes with that building of the skills, being able to look out there. So like in business, and maybe looking for how to do sales, how to engage how to support how to work with my clients, how can I and you're looking for what are those things to help build that up, you might be thinking things like, Oh, I'm terrible at that, look at how good that other person is.

28:49
You just haven't practiced it yet. You haven't thought about it as a skill to build. As you think about it as a skill to build, you can begin building those skills. I work with clients all the time, where I'm helping them do skill building, sometimes it's learning how to have independent living skills, ways to research things, ways to ask for that support, ways to be setting boundaries, and how you ask for support, setting boundaries with yourself setting a proper schedule, all kinds of things.

If you haven't learned how to do those things in that skill building, then your confidence is going to be way small, because you're going to have this experience like Well, everybody else is good at that. And I'm not. That's not true. You've just practiced.

29:32
I'm not really great at stuff. But I'm better than a lot of people because I've been practicing and they haven't yet. That's it. So help yourself to know that as you're giving yourself a voice. You're asking for that help. You're being able to say Oh, I know I need this. Oh, I know I need that or looking at somebody who's got it. How did you do that? Oh, how did you? Right and that kind of leads us right into number six. Because if you're looking at how somebody did those steps, you can take a look

30:13
Look, can you could go? Sure I do those steps too, or sometimes the truth is, I don't want to do those steps. Right? Sometimes the truth is, that's a lot of work, I don't want to do that. And so you might actually find that, no, I thought I wanted that, I don't want that. I don't want to do all that work. And so then you're able to see, okay, so that person is going to be at that ability.

And I'm not going to be at that ability, because I'm not going to do all those steps, right? And it might be like, say, somebody who has a really great coach, but they're on TV, and you don't want to be on TV, but you like a lot of those other things that they're doing. So you're gonna learn those skills or it might be somebody who's a mom of six kids, but you were gonna be a mom of one, or in my case, like, I've just started, I don't want to be a mom, I want to do the work that I'm doing. And I'm nurturing out into other people's families. I'm nurturing into my clients and into their kids, and helping them to nurture into their kids.

So I ended up being like a mom to many. And I did the same thing when I was a foster mom. And I did the same thing. When I helped raise my siblings. I did the same thing when I was in foster care. That's just who I am. And so who you are, is going to be different than who somebody else is. And that's perfect. You are your own unicorn. So it gives you room to very, keep giving yourself that room to breathe. Okay, so number seven.

31:31
Oh, sorry, we just did number. So that was about making sure you're looking at growing those similar skills. Number eight, we don't think about this. And oftentimes I don't either. And so when I'm when I'm teaching you guys, these things, sometimes I'm reminding myself of some stuff I forgot. And so one of the things I forgot is Keep smiling, guys.

31:58
Now, be careful who you smile at and for how long. Sometimes a smile is asking your meaning to but sometimes people will interpret a smile as asking for engagement. Like, for me might mean hello, or have a good day. But for them means Oh, that person wants to interact. They want to say hi, they want to talk. So there's ways that I'll say hi, or I'll smile, and then look away. And then there's times that I smile. And I just keep smiling, have a great day.

32:29
And then I keep going I keep walking sometimes, hi, have a good day. And then I go back to my phone. And I say those things because sometimes I've had clients where like, I don't want to smile at people because then they're gonna want to engage. Or they're, they think I want to get to know them. And you know, it's some guy and or it's just, you know, it's some girl and they think I'm hitting on them. No, guys, there's ways to do it.

33:00
Hi, have a blessed day! Beautiful weather today. Hope you enjoy it, and then just shift. You know, if that person has some kind of interaction, or some kind of experience, that's okay, let them have their experience. And then you just have yours you keep doing what you're doing.

33:12
You know, okay, yeah, thanks. Yeah. All right. I gotta get back to my and then whatever was. So it's okay to be able to connect and smile, saying hello, whatever it is. That the reason is for that, guys. When you smile, you're bringing positive endorphins into your body and someone else's, because the brain brings positive endorphins when we smile or see a smile.

33:38
And so when you're doing it, and I'm actually doing it even more as I'm talking to you, it's putting positive endorphins out into the world, into your body. And it's having you automatically feel more confident.

33:51
Now, you'll also see on here about strong power poses and you might be like, what's a power pose? Well, sometimes it's just letting yourself have more posture, right? Like right now I'm actually sitting up more as I'm doing this, because I'm talking about it. So it could be a smaller posture change. But that puts your confidence in like, it also has you breathing better, right, my shoulders are back, I'm sitting up higher, I can feel it in my spine.

So that's a good posture that actually creates more competence versus this, how this is how I would normally be seated. Right? And I'm not even thinking about it. And I've also noticed because of that my posture is actually weakening in my neck and my back then so I've been doing some more work on some more Superman and some more neck exercises because that's important to do for yourself. Now an extra power pose.

35:00
There's different ones a lot of people will be like the Superman one. Right? Yeah. Head up your your fist into your waist. And you're just like, Yeah, that's one. What if there's others? What if there's the power pose of raising your hands to heaven? That praise right. Oh, yeah, that's so powerful.

35:01
Now as I move in, you'll see that my posture is straight, my arms are open, my chest is gonna be open, so I'm breathing even more. And if I turn this even into praise, thank you so much, God for this beautiful day, thank you for this body. Thank you for all the things your blessing into my life. Thank you for my strength and my wisdom, please fill me with your Holy Spirit. And you feel that confidence is dumping into your body both by your words, as well as your praise, as well as the posture, right that you're putting.

So, there are all kinds of things that you could do to create that posture, I have an exercise ball that I'll sit on, sometimes, I'll just stand up and I'll do that stretch. Even here. I'm seated. And I can do that same thing. And it just feels so good. And add a smile to it. And bam, you're just like, putting it all together.

And the body just automatically will feel better. And you might be like, Oh, I feel stupid or don't feel better. Let yourself do it a few times. So you get past that thinking. And then you'll be like, Yeah, this feels really good. And let's say maybe you're not a spiritual person. So you don't want to add the spirituality to it doesn't matter. Just allow yourself to think about it. Opening my chest, breathing in, closing my chest. Breathing out into a hug.

36:27
Opening my chest, getting in that oxygen. Yeah, opening up all my muscles and stretching reaching as far as I can, bringing it into a nice close and a warm squishy hug. And then you can also bring your elbows out, which stretches all of this is like stretching your pecs. If your pecs connect here, the inner part, and then they're coming out. And then you have your upper pecs, your lower pecs. And so that stretch is really good as well, it also releases in the back muscles, right, it releases that tension that you have back there and your rhomboids.

And so it's releasing all of that tension out of your body. So it's doing it in so many ways. So all of that strengthens your confidence. And I don't even know if you've thought about all of that before. And then you'll see that number nine, number nine, number 10 kind of go a little bit together, but I'll keep them separate for you.

37:22
So number nine, it's important to know that if you're not feeling confident, there's something that you're doing that you're scaring yourself, you're telling yourself you're not good at something you're telling yourself. Oh, I don't know if I can do that. So you're putting in doubt you're putting in these scary thoughts, right? So think about it, like you're sitting around a campfire telling yourself the scary things to to psych yourself out. Right? Like, oh, I don't think I could do that.

Oh, I remember I failed. Oh, there's so much better than me. Oh, I you know, I don't want to this is too heavy. I don't I you know, I should just get a job or, you know, I should just get a different job or I should just get a different relationship or do you feel that weight that heaviness tightens your throat, it tightens your chest it tightens your shoulders, open that up?

38:07
Tell yourself something that's going to have yourself feel safe. And all of these other points I just shared with you would do that, too. For example, I've done this before I can do it again. Yep, this feels hard. But that's okay. I know with practice, it's gonna get easier. Okay, this is cool. I'm gonna look up what somebody else has done to accomplish this.

So I can see how it works. Awesome, right? And so you just keep going through the list. Oh, you know what? I'm just feeling so out of it today. Let me see myself through God's eyes.

God sees how strong I am. God sees how wise I am. God put me on this earth for a purpose, like he put me here, me, he put me here for a purpose, to go out and make a change in the world to love myself and to love others to take care of this body to take care of the earth. He puts that much trust in me.

38:54
So like go through each point. And you'll find that as you're doing that you're feeling safer, and calmer. And like whoa. And that's why you're feeling that confidence because you're feeling safer. And you're taking away the things that were scary and not safe.

39:09
Sometimes it also means creating an action plan because sometimes you're feeling not safe because you know, you need to do something and you're not doing it. So that safety is oftentimes an action plan to do it. And then also helping your thinking, because you might be telling yourself, I can't do that. I'm gonna fail. Well, you might be saying to yourself that you don't know subconscious thoughts. I'm just going to be a failure.

I'm never going to be good enough. And those subconscious thoughts are going to make sure that you self sabotage yourself. Because if I believe I'm not good enough to a very core of myself, and I can't do the steps to make me good enough.

39:50
Good stuff, right. Yeah. Okay. And so lastly, I know I say always have a fun event planned, but it could it doesn't have to be a big event. So I don't want you to think like oh, it's got to be always going out are always going to be

40:00
For some main event, it could be something as simple as planning for a massage, or planning to go for a walk or planning for an outing, or planning a nice shirt or planning a nice meal out or planning a nice meal in some event, something that you're looking forward to. And then on top of that, you can have a bigger event. So like for some people, like for me, massage is a bigger event, right? Like I do massage once a month, but I haven't done one in months. So it's going to be a big event for me when I go home, like I'm in need.

So I need to plan for that, that's gonna get on my calendar, I haven't been putting on my calendar. And if it's not on your calendar, it's not gonna happen in most cases.

40:41
So I also made sure that it was going to be a bonus for me, once I did my taxes for the first part of the year, then I would let myself go. But because I kept putting it off, here we are, I did do some of it. So it's not going to be a total like I have to do all of it at once. But I had it that I had to do all of it before I went to get my massage. So yeah, that's why as well. So as you have these things planned for yourself there your rewards.

41:10
Now, for me, I shouldn't have done it the same way I should have done. You know, if you've done some of it, you go to get your massage. And then after you've done the second part, you get something else. So creating an additional reward for myself, I think would have been a better thing, just by looking in hindsight, at how long of a time I didn't get the massage. Just because I have a lot of chronic pain and massages are more of a necessity than Oh, I'm just going because it feels yummy.

41:47
So pay attention to whether you might be doing a little bit of self sabotage, because looking back, I could see I might have done some of that for myself. Plus also my one massage client that I had passed away. And I think it was also a bit heavier for me thinking about going to get a massage, it was just bringing on that, you know, I really miss him. He's a young man, really good kid. And so it was just I don't know, a lot of that stuff was kind of collapsing and combining for me. So I'm ready to go. It's been it's been a minute.

42:07
So I just share that with you, because it gives you that to look forward to it gives you that next thing. What's that next thing I'm going to do? If you like to run? What's that next five mile I'm going to do? Or if you like to, what's that next show I'm going to watch? Or what's that next thing I'm going to do this weekend or like knowing I wait my husband, we just planned the next vacation time.

And so we're going to it's going to be down south, right. So it doesn't have to be super big. But you're planning for it that next thing? Oh, my honey, he just said I wonder if he heard me talking about him. So as you're planning for these wonderful things, even small, simple things like I plan each morning to sit in at breakfast while he's getting ready for work, getting his lunch ready for the morning, and I plan to sit with him during meals even if I'm not hungry.

42:41
So those are things I look forward to plan those things that you can look forward to for yourself or your loved ones. Even if you're like I don't want to because once you get out there and you're doing it, you're like I'm so glad I'm doing this. So those are the 10 steps that will help build your confidence, they'll help build you up, they'll help also help you take action steps to make sure you're not stepping into procrastination, because that's also usually about fear, there's something you're afraid to take on. And we move all that out of the way.

So instead, now you're creating the life that you love, you're creating the future that you want to step into, you're creating who you are as your future self, and bringing your future self to your now self and bringing those two together. So now you're feeling pulled forward instead of always having to push through.

43:55
So thank you guys so much for being here with me today. I know there was so many technical difficulties, this is just like a ridiculous day. And as far as that goes, I came in and out so many times, oh my goodness, I don't even know if there's one solid recording of this. But that's okay, you guys are here with me, you can watch it. Look at these points tomorrow, you're gonna see an infographic that your gift, they'll just be able to click on it and you'll be able to have it for yourself.

So you can look at it having that visual and see how you can practice these points. Thank you guys for being here. Thank you for your comments. Thank you for your hearts and also, just so you know, stepping into the freedom from negative thinking Facebook group in the future, it's going to have a new name. Yes, it's going to be anxiety and negative thinking relief for entrepreneurs.

Now, it doesn't mean it's just for entrepreneurs. It just means that because a lot of my topics also include support for entrepreneurs. That's how I'm specifying my marketing. So those of you who are here in the group who are not entrepreneurs doesn't mean I'm asking you to go out. I'm asking you to stay. And you can still invite people who are not entrepreneurs. But the idea is, we are all entrepreneurs, have our own life, you are taking on your life, you are running your life, you are the CEO of your life.

45:00
We are all entrepreneurs. And there's those of us like myself, who are also literally running a business as well. And so these things also apply to entrepreneurs. And so we need to get this information out there, guys, there are so many people struggling, so many people thinking they're alone, so many people who are like myself, I'm an introvert, I don't come across as an introvert, but boy I am. Every time I come on here, it's like, Oh, I gotta hit the Live button.

It doesn't get easier. It just gets more familiar. I still have this feeling, I still have fear of rejection, I still have fear of what somebody might say negatively or whatever, it still comes up, but I let it pass by. And I think about you, I think about who is going to be watching this and how it could help them. Do you do the same as you share this information for others, as you invite people to our currently freedom from negative thinking group soon to be changed on the title, but the information is going to be the same, right?

The information to help you change your life, change your perspective, being here for you, through live workshops, I am still going to be doing that. So make sure you're here, make sure you are taking on your life and continue to share this information to others, you're going to find more people coming into the group because I'm stepping out of my introvert on another level. And I'm just going to be connecting to people and sharing this information out there. I'm not going to be shy, I'm not going to be afraid, well, it may come up.

But I'm not going to choose thoughts that help it keep reverberating through my mind and my body and my spirit, I'm going to be thinking No, this could help this person. And so I'm going to share. And so you're going to be seeing more people coming in and getting involved. And please do continue to add your support, add your positive links and information.

46:52
If there's things that you do that help people let me know. Because there's days where I ask what is it that you do what's special about you? What is it that you offer into the world. And those could be days where you posted into that, that thread. And I want to make sure that you do that. So we know what each other does out here. Like I can only have so many clients, I don't want this to be my group. And I can't share my people. I don't like that experience out there in the Facebook world.

47:21
We get to help each other guys, we get to support each other. We have all been through our own journeys. So please do get this information out there. Please practice this information. I'm not just sharing it for you to hear it. I'm sharing it for you to do it and be it. So go be amazing. Know that you're loved, know that you're appreciated. Know that you're cared about whether you like any of that or bring it in big squishy hugs.

47:48
And I will see you each and every Wednesday, you can watch the replay or you can watch it live. Please do comment. Either way. It adds to me because I know that you're out there. I know that this is making a difference for you. And my love language is words of affirmation. So when you're telling me and responding and those are words of affirmation to me to say yeah, these folks love this. My family in here is really getting value out of this and it really motivates me and pulls me forward into continuing to do this work.

So you take care of you. I'll talk to you soon. Ciao for now.